Thread: Daily Moan

  1. #6026
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    BoganInParasite's Avatar
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    So while on my flu (potential) deathbed a couple of days ago and not having eaten for 36 hours I asked the wife for a cheese slice and small pack of those Ritz crackers. Shouldn't complain, that's exactly what she provided and left. When I roused myself up onto an elbow to get a feed...no plate. It's not possible to juggle six small crackers while upwrapping a cheese slice so ended up eating the cheese slice first, then opening and eating the crackers. The magic has gone it would seem. Must remember to mention eating aids in the future.

  2. #6027
    กงเกวียนกำเกวียน HuangLao's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoganInParasite View Post
    So while on my flu (potential) deathbed a couple of days ago and not having eaten for 36 hours I asked the wife for a cheese slice and small pack of those Ritz crackers. Shouldn't complain, that's exactly what she provided and left. When I roused myself up onto an elbow to get a feed...no plate. It's not possible to juggle six small crackers while upwrapping a cheese slice so ended up eating the cheese slice first, then opening and eating the crackers. The magic has gone it would seem. Must remember to mention eating aids in the future.
    Nip on a little Dong next time you're feeling bad, BIP.
    Cures most everything....

  3. #6028
    Thailand Expat jabir's Avatar
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    An early evening yesterday for me and dozing off, nipper and mate next door doing whatever kids do, wifey munching on the floor in front of a soap, suddenly a series of crashes that ended with a resounding booom, sounded like a fcuking disaster, flew to the scene, looked like a grenade went off, white powder (baking soda) everywhere, one side of the room in total disarray with stuff all over the place, one kid crouched and quivering while the other just stood there frozen with eyes closed and hands covering his head. I grabbed him to check for damage as the other rushed over for comfort, and thankfully they were both ok.

    One of them had stood on a box to reach for some toy from a set of standing shelves level with the TV, box went unsteady so he grabbed onto a shelf and the whole thing toppled over scattering its contents as it crashed; more thanks that he had the wits to get outa the way and avoid a potential nightmare.

    My fault; anchoring the shelf to the wall was on my long todo list, didn't get around to it, now it's quarantined till done hopefully over the weekend!

    ----

    Notable was farang vs Thai response, and not suggesting this is representative though I've been here long enough to suspect there's a correlation. Mine was to first check for injury, next assess the damage while finding out what happened, and then organise the cleanup, while the other half arrived hotted up and verbally blasting at the already petrified kids, even after I explained it was an accident, my fault for not anchoring the shelves to the wall, and also for not warning the kids that it's unsafe to climb.

  4. #6029
    Thailand Expat David48atTD's Avatar
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    I pulled the knobs off the upper draws of the main cupboard the kids could get into.

    Used a light chain to anchor the TV so it never fell forward.

    Kid killers they are.

  5. #6030
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    Difficult to make a house 100% toddler safe.
    Rounded corners on tables, extra underlay under carpets, everything out of reach,electric socket covers,the list is endless. Turn your back for a second and something can happen.
    Enjoyed that age with mine the most but wouldn't want to go through it again.

    As for the Thai response to incidents, the least said about that the better.

  6. #6031
    Thailand Expat klong toey's Avatar
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    Not sure i like this been flying with Thai since 2002 only thing i have had of them was boiled sweets before takeoff.
    Just got an email from them with this on never had one before .Were all doomed .
    Daily Moan-screenshot_20200103_144438-jpg
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Daily Moan-screenshot_20200103_144438-jpg  

  7. #6032
    I'm in Jail

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    KT they sent you boiled sweets, you lucky bastard. I am going to complain, never had them sent to me in 35 years.

  8. #6033
    Thailand Expat raycarey's Avatar
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    i suppose it's understandable that you seem to have resigned yourself to living with your head in the sand.....but deep down you must know that the "brother in law" got them.

    just like he always does.
    Last edited by raycarey; 03-01-2020 at 10:44 PM.

  9. #6034
    Thailand Expat OhOh's Avatar
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    ^^^

    They are just getting the extra booze stockpile moved closer to you seat. They need to rearrange the cargo to ensure your needs are fully satisfied and the weight is in the correct place.

    It's the new AI system installed to ensure the flight "attendants" get a few more hours sleep.
    A tray full of GOLD is not worth a moment in time.

  10. #6035
    I'm in Jail

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    Here boy, fetch. Where's Walley..


  11. #6036
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    The step-mother died yesterday. Okay she was the Mrs Boyle from Mousetrap...but all the same it is sad...and expected after diagnosis of cancer in September. A major change of plans for January and not so easy to get home quick to make sure my dad is okay. Lots to think about tomorrow....
    Last edited by Troy; 05-01-2020 at 09:38 PM.

  12. #6037
    The Fool on the Hill bowie's Avatar
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    ^ condolences - good luck.

  13. #6038
    Thailand Expat jabir's Avatar
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    Anyone know if WWIII has started, I wouldn't want to miss that.

    An interesting observation if it hasn't: yesterday I left the butter out. It was a full pack of 500gm Allowrie unsalted. Couple of hours later wifey turns up and accusingly asks who put oil in the butter dish and where's the butter gone. I explained the ice cream in hell principle, like when the nipper buys his Dairy Queen at Tesco and it's all over the place by the time we reach the car, won't go into details here, but my moan for the day is that the 500gm pack had melted into about 20% of its volume. Good that this happened, now I know the truth and feel hurt at having to pay 220 bt for a few spoons of oil packaged to look like a lot more.

    I'm familiar with the ice cream manufacturing process having worked in an ice cream factory more than a half century ago till I got sacked for hiding in a freezer the last 15mins before home time, and eating a few pennies of profit, blimey how time flies, and that they inject air into it; I think ours was something like 80% which is larceny though they're still in business and proves that fancy marketing really can distract people from important things like are they getting value for money.

    So, to make it brief, anyone know how the robbers manage to put so much air into butter?

  14. #6039
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    It occurs during churning as you are effectively emulsifying the oil.

  15. #6040
    Thailand Expat jabir's Avatar
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    Churning is one thing, 80% air is a scam.

  16. #6041
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    Quote Originally Posted by jabir View Post
    Churning is one thing, 80% air is a scam.
    Agreed, so load up on them little allowrie pats in when you saya on hotels or going out to eat...insists you have to have 20 little pats with your chips or they are inedible

  17. #6042
    Thailand Expat VocalNeal's Avatar
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    It's a bit like the old joke "Whats on TV? "Dust"

    Wife finished cleaning the fridge. I asked her about the dust on the top, then realized at average Thai height she can't see it.

  18. #6043
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    Quote Originally Posted by jabir View Post
    Anyone know if WWIII has started, I wouldn't want to miss that.

    An interesting observation if it hasn't: yesterday I left the butter out. It was a full pack of 500gm Allowrie unsalted. Couple of hours later wifey turns up and accusingly asks who put oil in the butter dish and where's the butter gone. I explained the ice cream in hell principle, like when the nipper buys his Dairy Queen at Tesco and it's all over the place by the time we reach the car, won't go into details here, but my moan for the day is that the 500gm pack had melted into about 20% of its volume. Good that this happened, now I know the truth and feel hurt at having to pay 220 bt for a few spoons of oil packaged to look like a lot more.

    I'm familiar with the ice cream manufacturing process having worked in an ice cream factory more than a half century ago till I got sacked for hiding in a freezer the last 15mins before home time, and eating a few pennies of profit, blimey how time flies, and that they inject air into it; I think ours was something like 80% which is larceny though they're still in business and proves that fancy marketing really can distract people from important things like are they getting value for money.

    So, to make it brief, anyone know how the robbers manage to put so much air into butter?

    When you buy your butter do you pay by the weight or the volume?
    Did you weigh the melted butter?

  19. #6044
    or TizYou?
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    How much air is in a Violet Crumble Bar?

  20. #6045
    Thailand Expat klong toey's Avatar
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    Got to go to home Pro today electrical appliance meltdown.
    Blender, fan, kettle and water pump all need replacing.
    All died whilst i was in Blighty for 2 weeks i think Gert sabotage them some how.

  21. #6046
    Thailand Expat jabir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ootai View Post
    When you buy your butter do you pay by the weight or the volume?
    Did you weigh the melted butter?
    Fair enough, 1 to Allowrie!

  22. #6047
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    Thanks to all re the step-mother. Unfortunately, all flights are fully booked and I couldn't get back earlier than Sunday. Still waiting for funeral arrangements...hope mid to late next week. No problem with extending the off work, but not sure if that's good or bad...

    Damn awkward, being caught out in the sticks, when I should be at home arranging everything for dad though...

  23. #6048
    Thailand Expat jabir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by klong toey View Post
    Got to go to home Pro today electrical appliance meltdown.
    Blender, fan, kettle and water pump all need replacing.
    All died whilst i was in Blighty for 2 weeks i think Gert sabotage them some how.
    Check the fusebox/socket/wiring, might save you a bundle.

  24. #6049
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    Ordered KFC and forget to say 'classic' or 'original'.

    You guys that regularly order KFC here in Thailand know what I'm on about. Got that chicken that is coated in half-inch of sawdust.

    Fcuk my life.

  25. #6050
    I am not a cat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bogon View Post

    Fcuk my life.
    Really? you got a wrong KFC and that is your reaction?

    Jesus. Precious or what.

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