Daily Moan

[Troy]

They've existed for generations before you, they'll exist for generations after you.

Thais are yet to go extinct from the selfish stoopid shiz they manage to do to themselves, their families and their property.

Leave the Thais sort it out. Thai problems Thai solutions.


Ed Heartless Koont Cheddar.

One example..my grand niece would have died 4 years ago if my wife and I hadn't intervened. No-one would have blamed us. Life would carry on, but there would be sadness in all our hearts.
In the end, I didn't have to pay for all the cancer treatment. The doctors and nurses rallied round and they got fundings from businessmen in Bangkok. I paid enough for her to survive, initial treatment and years of transport costs. That was nothing in comparison to the unknown people that paid for her treatment. I witnessed her 13th birthday. Better than hearing about her funeral.

[Troy]

I think a few need to understand I'm not a newbie being asked to buy a buffalo for the gf's family. I've been in the same Thai village for nearly 30 years. I'm treated with a lot of respect, and I have had a tremendous amount of help over the years.

[BLD]

Really feel for you Troy. What a fucked up situation. But what does your wife think about all this ? There her kin. Is she offering any suggestions? Other than you trying to at least dig the kids out of the hole there parents have created for them..The bottom line for me is the parents fucked up and are paying the ultimate price but the kids are innocent. If you have the means to support them then try to do So. As for the rest of them loosing land etc. That's there problem. I don't know how old those kids are or if there even aware of the situation. If it were me I would focus on the kids outcome first maybe try to fix the other shit later

[malmomike77]

We have and still do help out a couple of children who's parents made poor life choices as its termed these days, i think "why should the kids pay for the sins of their parents". YOu hope the kids learn from their parents mistakes and live a more fruitful life. In the end as mentioned its personal choice.

[Edmond]

Originally Posted by Stumpy
While I think in general people always want to help but sometimes that creates a larger more painful process.

Just curious: What do you mean by this ?

He probably means that those that were initially helped will instinctively turn to the helper in the future instead of going their way, sorting themselves out, and not realizing their own potential because they feel they have a safety net that they can always rely on.

[Edmond]

There was a horrific NYE minivan and pickup crash a few years ago, around a dozen dead.

Around 6 or 7 of the dead ended up being the family of a TD member.


That wasn't you was it Troy.

[Troy]

^ No, can't remember who that was.

[Troy]

Really feel for you Troy. What a fucked up situation. But what does your wife think about all this ? There her kin. Is she offering any suggestions? Other than you trying to at least dig the kids out of the hole there parents have created for them..The bottom line for me is the parents fucked up and are paying the ultimate price but the kids are innocent. If you have the means to support them then try to do So. As for the rest of them loosing land etc. That's there problem. I don't know how old those kids are or if there even aware of the situation. If it were me I would focus on the kids outcome first maybe try to fix the other shit later

My wife has told them we can't help. She did this mainly to take the pressure off us, give us time to think what we can manage. I think that could put an unbearable strain on grandmother who is already very ill.

[MarilynMonroe]

All the best, Troy. I sort of agree with BLD on this. Help the kids, maybe put them in a local school or do what you can.
Really it is the kids that have their whole life in front of them.
I can relate with family problem and things, but of course it is not a Thai family. I try to keep my distance more and more these days to avoid the drama that really can affect my mental and physical well being. Sometimes you can only do what you can do.

[misskit]

What a nightmare, Troy. There should be another set of grandparents for these kids out there. Where are they in the picture?

[Troy]

^ Three children, three different fathers. Her husband was in Israel when this drama unfolded. She was having a bit of 'fun' while he was away. The youngest may or may not be his.
It really is quite a messy situation that her younger sister has to deal with.

[DrWilly]

Goodness, a real life Thai drama.

[BLD]

^ Three children, three different fathers. Her husband was in Israel when this drama unfolded. She was having a bit of 'fun' while he was away. The youngest may or may not be his.
It really is quite a messy situation that her younger sister has to deal with.

Strewth.. just goes to show ya gotta choose wisely regardless if your a farang or Thai before ya start spraying the baby batter around and worse when your out of town some other fuckers spraying the baby batter around. . Wot a fucking nightmare. The best advice I ever got was from my dad who told me. Son. Take a good look at there mother coz that's what they turn into.. Makes perfect sense. The mils a gem. Taught the daughter well. A mate of mine married to a Filipino told me . Don't worry mate the first 20 years is the hardest. I've been married 16 years so I guess gotta ride it out another 4

[Molle]

I've been in the same Thai village for nearly 30 years. I'm treated with a lot of respect, and I have had a tremendous amount of help over the years.

That basically leaves you without choices, I'm sure you will do the right thing.

[Iceman123]

Buy the land, sounds there is a bit of equity left in it. Put it in your wife’s name with the proviso that the land minus the purchase price
will be returned to the children once the youngest one reaches the age of majority.

Take the 3 kids into your care, it’s the right thing to do and you feel better for it. You will receive a lot of help - it’s the village that raises kids in Thailand.

[Troy]

That basically leaves you without choices, I'm sure you will do the right thing.

I probably didn't explain well enough that they don't live in our village but another about 1.5 hours drive away. If they were in our village, it would have been a lot easier.

Anyway, thanks for all your comments. It is not always easy to understand how poverty and desperation can lead to such tragic circumstances. This isn't a one-off isolated event but just happens to be one that affects our family in Thailand.

[armstrong]

Buy the land, sounds there is a bit of equity left in it. Put it in your wife’s name with the proviso that the land minus the purchase price
will be returned to the children once the youngest one reaches the age of majority.

Take the 3 kids into your care, it’s the right thing to do and you feel better for it. You will receive a lot of help - it’s the village that raises kids in Thailand.

Just take 3 kids into your care

[Joe 90]

Bringing up 3 kids is a massive commitment , hard work and requires plenty of money to do it properly.
If they're your own then imho it's a no brainer.
Taking on someone else's requires a special person.

Sadly situations like these are not uncommon around the world.

[Iceman123]

Just take 3 kids into your care

It may surprise you that some people have the ability and empathy to do this. Alternatively he could lie on his couch all day drowning himself in Leo - that’ll fix it.

[Shutree]

Just take 3 kids into your care

In the last two years we have rescued two dogs. More commitment than I had expected. Anyone brave enough to take on 3 children would deserve more than just one medal. A decision to be taken not lightly.

[helge]

In the last two years we have rescued two dogs. More commitment than I had expected. Anyone brave enough to take on 3 children would deserve more than just one medal. A decision to be taken not lightly.

Can Troy in reality do that ?

Based in Germany for most of the year

Kids need stabile infrastructure which includes adult/adults.

Is there more he can do than giving an economic helping hand ?

[BLD]

So easy to spot the wankers here . Plenty of good posters though which is why the forum has lasted so long

[Troy]

Can Troy in reality do that ?

Based in Germany for most of the year

Kids need stabile infrastructure which includes adult/adults.

Is there more he can do than giving an economic helping hand ?

Good questions, adding to the dilemma.

In the end it will be two children, the eldest has left school and we need to think of different arrangements for him.

The best option would be for the two (7 and 12) to come and live in our house with the grandmother. They have visited many times before and they know us as well as the children who already stay in our house (we have a 7 yr old boy and 13 yr old girl who stay for extended periods). My wife will be staying after our break in September anyway, so that arrangements can be made once a plan has been decided.

This option is possible if I give up Germany and stay in Thailand to help out. That's possible, but it's a sacrifice that needs careful thought since it reduces our future options.

Unfortunately, I think they will want to stay in their village and that's where it may get difficult. I will let my wife work with them to see if that's a viable option.

===================
That last bit needs a little explanatory - the village languages are different, although they are taught and speak Thai at school, the difference in local language makes them outsiders.

[malmomike77]

Yep not something you do on a whim, it's a permanent deal once you commit

[BLD]

Good questions, adding to the dilemma.

In the end it will be two children, the eldest has left school and we need to think of different arrangements for him.

The best option would be for the two (7 and 12) to come and live in our house with the grandmother. They have visited many times before and they know us as well as the children who already stay in our house (we have a 7 yr old boy and 13 yr old girl who stay for extended periods). My wife will be staying after our break in September anyway, so that arrangements can be made once a plan has been decided.

This option is possible if I give up Germany and stay in Thailand to help out. That's possible, but it's a sacrifice that needs careful thought since it reduces our future options.

Unfortunately, I think they will want to stay in their village and that's where it may get difficult. I will let my wife work with them to see if that's a viable option.

===================
That last bit needs a little explanatory - the village languages are different, although they are taught and speak Thai at school, the difference in local language makes them outsiders.

Sounds like you are giving it a lot of Thought Troy and for sure it must be weighing heavily on your mind I really feel sorry for you and those kids. What a shit fight
You seem a good guy and the burden will likely need to be taken up by you
God luck mate