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Thread: Daily Moan

  1. #7001
    On a walkabout
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    ^ The "Do Not Disturb" notice works a wonder if you put it up.

  2. #7002
    Thailand Expat jabir's Avatar
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    Never think you're smart, because you will end up scratching your head wondering htf did it go wrong!

    The conditions were right, and whatever surprise they had for me was doomed to fail as it was Buddha Day and wifey off work, so my cunning plan was to invite her along for some shop-ping, let's make it Central, and might as well top up on bread while we're there. She politely rattled off my wishlist, four quarters x3, each sliced and paper bagged, not plastic bagged, as I stood a respectable social distance away, got a brief what could be mistaken for a death glare from a new assistant but when we returned after the rest of our shopping there they were, 12 sliced quarters in paper bags neatly piled up waiting for a new home.

    Yep, my smart buffer theory worked, they managed to get it all right this time, gave them a big ta and off to wait my turn at the cashier, who happened to notice there were no price labels on the bags which caused gridlock because I wasn't prepared to cancel the rest of the transaction and let others through, got a few moans which were easy to ignore because having waited my turn I wasn't about to start at the end of another queue.

    Next time I shall drag along an iron bar.

  3. #7003
    The Fool on the Hill bowie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jabir View Post
    12 sliced quarters in paper bags neatly piled up waiting for a new home.
    ahh, yes... the white whale, you finally got the white whale

  4. #7004
    Hangin' Around cyrille's Avatar
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    ^^ So what do you know...being able to communicate in the same language with someone else is a factor.

  5. #7005
    Thailand Expat TheRealKW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyrille View Post
    ^^ So what do you know...being able to communicate in the same language with someone else is a factor.
    If only they’d taught the natives better English we wouldn’t have this issue

  6. #7006
    Isle of Discombobulation
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    Thought we'd have some fun with our Segway and buy a go kart attachment.


    Spent a couple of hours cursing and swearing attaching it to the Segway, eventually we was set for blast off.

    Youngest tested it first but ended up doing relentless donuts because one of the handrails was too stiff.

    I got on it too losen it up and was propelled at breakneck speed off a kerb and across a road, having no idea how to stop the damn thing.

    I proceeded to barrel roll out of the ruddy thing into a muddy puddle with my heart pumping sixteen to the dozen.

    I came to rest relatively unscathed next to a pile of dog shit.

  7. #7007
    Its all gleaming
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    Moved to Impulse Buy

  8. #7008
    Isle of Discombobulation
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    Quote Originally Posted by NamPikToot View Post
    Moved to Impulse Buy
    Indeedio, i was debating which thread to post in.

    The moan was more prevalant than the pissed up ebay impulse buy

  9. #7009
    Its all gleaming
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    So the question is. Out of you and Armstrong who is going to... spontaneously combust in Bang Na or T Bone a motorbility scooter....first.

  10. #7010
    Isle of Discombobulation
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    Next time i go on the ruddy thing will be in a deserted multi storey car park, not taking no chances.

    To top it all, i made myself a cup of herbal tea to sooth my shredded nerves and spilt it all on the sofa.

  11. #7011
    Thailand Expat TheRealKW's Avatar
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  12. #7012
    Isle of Discombobulation
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    You bastards haven't heard half of it


    Went out again later to take the dog for a walk,clear out the 3 month lockdown binge and test drive the go kart again with a few modifications.


    Let the dog of the lead as per usual and l jump on the gokart.

    Ffs within 30 seconds when jettisoned into childlike oblivion a "Karen" ruins my utopia.

    She starts schreaching about her pampered puddle/child substitute being attacked.

    As i am whizzing past in my m life crisis bat mobile, then unfortunately i break to a halt in admittedly cool "Vin Diesel " style.
    I say "my dog Is harmless ".

    Karen replies "your dog had nearly killed my dog!"

    All the kids start laughing at her and she freaks out taking pictures and moaning about them on the local Facebook Facebook group.

    I have since started drinking and deactivated my Facebook account.

  13. #7013
    Hansum Man! panama hat's Avatar
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    Did your dog attack hers?

  14. #7014
    Isle of Discombobulation
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    No it did fucking not!
    It sniffed its arse then gave it a snub, then the dog started screaching . Then the owner pissed its pants down to lockdown isolation.

  15. #7015
    Hansum Man! panama hat's Avatar
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    ^ Sigh . . . a real Karen

  16. #7016
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chittychangchang View Post
    Next time i go on the ruddy thing will be in a deserted multi storey car park, not taking no chances.

    To top it all, i made myself a cup of herbal tea to sooth my shredded nerves and spilt it all on the sofa.
    Multi storey car parks are reserved for trolley racing. Sainsbury's Vs Tesco's was the norm with toffs using guest Waitrose trolleys when available. You'll have to start at the back of the grid with that racer.

    Entry qualification was 10 pints or more inside you and losers paid the rounds at lunchtime...hic...

    Next time have a bottle of brandy in reserve to calm the nerves...

  17. #7017
    Its all gleaming
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    I have got a curry to eat but fancy a burger. Curry for breakfast me thinks. What Red wine does anyone suggest to go with it?

  18. #7018
    Its all gleaming
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    ^ My moan is indecision.

  19. #7019
    Pedantic bastard
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    Got an absess under a tooth in my jaw. Had it drilled and drained today. Highly unpleasant. Mind you they gave me both paaracetamol AND ibuprophen, so not all bad. Oh, and antibiotics of course.

  20. #7020
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    Quote Originally Posted by NamPikToot View Post
    I have got a curry to eat but fancy a burger. Curry for breakfast me thinks. What Red wine does anyone suggest to go with it?
    Very difficult to pair red wine with curry.
    Indian curry, go wirh a rose.
    Spicy dishes I have found some solid red, Portugese wines to pair with their (their, because it is a Portugese dish) African Chicken. A meaty Douro works.
    Maybe a bit late for today. Try again tomorrow.

  21. #7021
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shutree View Post
    Douro
    I'm in the UK so no problem, Lidl had a good Douro for under 7 a few weeks back. The wine is for the Burger and despite what some might think of me i am not cracking a bottle of red with my curry breakfast...although

  22. #7022
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    Quote Originally Posted by NamPikToot View Post
    I'm in the UK so no problem, Lidl had a good Douro for under 7 a few weeks back. The wine is for the Burger and despite what some might think of me i am not cracking a bottle of red with my curry breakfast...although
    With breakfast - champagne is the only allowable alcohol.
    One of my rules.

  23. #7023
    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
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    Bloody Mary tweaks my celery stick

  24. #7024
    Pedantic bastard
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    For a few years my families Christmas breakfast was smoked salmon and scrambled eggs - with buck's fizz. Very nice.

  25. #7025
    Thailand Expat jabir's Avatar
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    Why do kids have to be so effing honest!

    Met a young chap yesterday, got chatting, he's well into rescue animals, has loads at home and also carries some of them around the world, with the right paperwork, which is surprisingly inexpensive.

    Anyway, he just returned from China on his way to UK with a couple of dogs, and he told me about a lab pup that needs rescuing if I'm interested, had some pics, cute little blighter, the kid immediately said yes let's go pick him up he'll be a brother for Jimmy, but I told him it's up to the boss. Few minutes later the guy happened to mention it's owned by a Chinese woman in Pattaya who really can't cope and needs a new home, and as if on cue the kid instantly backed off shouting yuk no we don't want it not if she's Chinese. His Chinese wife turned away and doubled up giggling.

    Tip for dads: watch what you say in the presence of kids, they learn fast.

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