From the 'Only in Australia' File #001

[Hugh Cow]

In my place the cockroaches eat the ghekos. You need a sot gun to kill them.

[Dillinger]

What a way to go with grapefruit sized balls

Shouldnt laugh, daft fucker's left behind 3 kids

[Hugh Cow]

In Kalgoorlie The "red house" brothel has closed on the infamous red light street called Hay st. This street famous for its brothels which opened in the early gold rush days and has had brothels in the street ever since.
https://www.xxx.xxx.xx/news/2019-07-...treet/11289954

[David48atTD]

^ Link for the above story ... https://tinyurl.com/y3a74b8e

[TizMe]

https://www.news.com.au/travel/trave...f2ab830f80c1e3

https://tinyurl.com/yxn96agp

Tourist playing chicken with deadly blue-ringed octopus

Two tourists have shocked Aussies by playing with a deadly blue-ringed octopus — repeatedly putting it on one of their arms.

Two British tourists have shocked Aussies with a video of themselves playing with a deadly blue-ringed octopus, which one man repeatedly places on his mate’s forearm.


The backpackers, from Exeter, in the UK, were fishing in Burnett Heads in Bundaberg, Queensland, on Friday when they caught a blue-ringed octopus and decided to play with the deadly creature.


After learning how close they came to a swift death, one of the backpackers said they were “(laughing) about how close to death and stupid we were”.


The video posted to Facebook on Friday shows Johnpaul Lennon holding out his arm while his mate, Ross Saunders, dangles the octopus over him before putting the creature directly onto his skin. Mr Lennon squeals and recoils as the octopus moves its tentacles over his skin before sticking his arm out a second time for another go.


Mr Saunders told 7 News he “realised it was an octopus but didn’t realise what kind of octopus” it was.


He said his friend had been travelling around Australia for months, taking pictures of koalas and other wildlife, and when they caught the creature he decided he “wanted a picture of the octopus on his arm”.


Mr Saunders said they spent about 30 seconds trying to get a photo of the octopus on Mr Lennon’s arm before releasing it back into the water.


“We got home thinking not much really happened until we showed the octopus video to some of our friends, and that’s when we found out what it was and a lot of googling was done!” Mr Saunders wrote on Facebook last night.


“We laughed about it when we first found out, but it did eventually sink in, and it’s surreal to think back knowing if things had been slightly different it could have been fatal, and things would be very different right now.




“Thankfully, no one was hurt and we can laugh about how close to death and stupid we were. Lesson learnt, don’t f**k with the wildlife in Australia.”

[prawnograph]

Mullet Man

15 July 2019
An Australian man with a receding mullet and facial tattoos has been arrested after allegedly swiping sex toys from a Gold Coast store.

Skull tattoos read: "Never take my soul" and "Death before dishonour"

[docmartin]

He look like his soul is just crammed with honour.
Maybe he was on the honour roll a couple of times in all the years it took to pass grade six.

[happynz]

[David48atTD]

Retiree finds massive gold nugget outside historic gold rush town of Ballarat



A Victorian retiree has struck gold, unearthing a 2-kilogram nugget worth about $130,000 on the outskirts of the gold rush town Ballarat.

Key points:

• A retiree prospector has uncovered a hefty gold nugget in a Victorian field
• He almost walked away from the site, having already unearthed a bullet
• The $130,000 find comes amid something of a gold rush revival in the state

The amateur prospector was searching through old pastureland in a now 'top secret' location when his metal detector started beeping.
He started digging and quickly uncovered a .22 lead bullet.

Thinking that was that, he was about to move on — but his detector was "insistent" there was something else further down.
Located under 30 centimetres of wash under about 15 centimetres of clay was the whopping gold nugget, which was since been named 'You Wouldn't Believe It'.

Mark Day of Gold Ballarat said the man, an amateur enthusiast and customer, had already received offers of $160,000 for his find.

Here

[prawnograph]

Australian massage parlour investigator reveals his technique: 'It's the only way to prove it'
2 Aug 2019

A private investigator, hired by Australian councils to investigate massage parlours offering illegal sex services, has revealed that he engages in sex acts to obtain proof that the law is being breached.

Speaking to the Daily Telegraph, the investigator from Lyonswood Investigations and Forensic Group said he had taken part in 50 investigations into massage parlours and was offered an "extra" 95 per cent of the time.

The man said: "'It's a job, I have absolutely no emotional connection to it. I go in, I have an objective to meet, I'm being paid to do it."

He revealed that on most occasions a sex act was performed on him but that he also engaged in full sex when the investigation required it.

He told the Telegraph that the key to the job was to enter the premises confidently and give off the air of a regular customer.

He said that despite signs outside massage parlours saying they don't offer sexual services, many operated as de facto brothels and would offer sex immediately.

The man did not apologise for his line of work, saying: "'It's the only way we're able to show or demonstrate what's going on in there."

He said he needed to be absolutely certain that sex was being provided and told how he usually climaxed during the encounters.

[Bettyboo]

^ he seems like a terrific professional. Perhaps they should send him to the gay massage parlours and see if he still feels no emotional connection because it's just a job...

[Latindancer]

^ Good point !


"I yodeled up her canyon, but I didn't inhale".

[MeMock]

Cane toads hitch ride on the back of a python


Forget Lime scooters - the new rage in Australia is hitching a ride on the back of a snake.
An Aussie living in Kununurra, in the far north of Western Australia, snapped what's being described as the most Australian picture ever shot - about a dozen cane toads surfing on the back of a python.
"68mm just fell in the last hour at Kununurra," Andrew Mock wrote on Twitter.
"Flushed all the cane toads out of my brother's dam. Some of them took the easy way out - hitching a ride on the back of a 3.5m python."





https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/world...-a-python.html

Hey....that's me!

[crackerjack101]

We did most of the track back in the 80's but not with so much fancy kit.
Best fun in the world.

[David48atTD]

Hanging on


A strong grip is a bull rider’s best friend, but at this year’s Mount Isa Rodeo,
cowboys weren’t the only people hanging on.







Every year, hundreds of cowboys and cowgirls converge on the outback Queensland mining town of Mount Isa
for the biggest and richest rodeo in the southern hemisphere.


It’s a seriously competitive event, with $230,000 in prizes at stake, but it’s not all about the money.

For thousands of people who walk through the gates, rodeo is a celebration of the grit required
every day to make a life — not just a living — in the bush.


After a year dominated by devastating floods and drought, rural Australians understand the
cowboy mantra better than most — “hang on no matter what”.










Eight Seconds? ... not this time

---

Great read, heaps of pics
about a 10 min read
here ... https://tinyurl.com/y4l728k7

[moose65]

[crackerjack101]

[crackerjack101]

https://www.facebook.com/savvysocial...9933773830356/

[Cujo]

The most Australian interview ever.

[Latindancer]

[Fondles]

^^^^^ if the person who tool that pic bothered to hang round they would seen the Dingo crack open a nice frosty VB.

[Latindancer]

Fire sparks mass explosion of semen at Australian cattle breeding centre


A fire at a cattle building has caused 100 cylinders of bull semen to explode, in a “huge blow” for farmers.

Thousands of dollars of semen has been destroyed after a cattle building exploded in fire early this morning.
Emergency services were called to Yarram Herd Services in Gippsland, Victoria, at about 3am where 100 cryogenic cylinders containing cattle semen exploded in the blaze.
It took 10 fire crews more than two hours to contain the fire at the building, which is a cattle breeding service.


https://www.news.com.au/national/vic...NIljUIL38RLUf4

[happynz]

Hugh Cow will be traumatised.

[Latindancer]

Heart-stopping moment a deadly reptile slithers up a man's leg and inside his JEANS before he is forced to yank it out.

• A man has captured his terrifying encounter with a venomous tiger snake on film
• China Gibson got the shock of his life when a tiger snake slithered into his jeans
• He clamped the snake's head so it didn't bite him, pulled it out with his hands
• 'F***ing Christ almighty, f***ing snakes,' the Moulamein man shouted as he fled

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...amein-NSW.html

[TizMe]

Heart-stopping moment a deadly reptile slithers up a man's leg and inside his JEANS before he is forced to yank it out.

• A man has captured his terrifying encounter with a venomous tiger snake on film
• China Gibson got the shock of his life when a tiger snake slithered into his jeans
• He clamped the snake's head so it didn't bite him, pulled it out with his hands
• 'F***ing Christ almighty, f***ing snakes,' the Moulamein man shouted as he fled

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...amein-NSW.html

I doubted this story when I first read it.
No mention of it in any Aus new sources.

Then checked the date of the story...... 1st April 2018