Things you should never do.

[Captain Sensible]

Never check the time on your wrist watch with an open jar of coffee in your hand.

Never believe someone will do something when they preface a statement with 'I promise I will......'.

Never believe anything until it is actually something.

There are many more but that is a start.

Your turn.

[Captain Sensible]

I got one more too.

Never go into a chemist/pharmacy and ask for XXXL condoms from the shop assistant who is still at school and is only a part time shop assistant who dont understand the benefit of discretion. I am gonna kill you Wally.

[Wally Dorian Raffles]

:P

[Wally Dorian Raffles]

Never have a wank in front of your computer when the painters have scafolding set up outside your balcony and could climb up and look in anytime ops:

[Captain Sensible]

Never listen to Leonard Cohen's 'So long Maryanne' when your feeling iffy.

[Wally Dorian Raffles]

Never look a tuk-tuk driver in the eye.

[poolcleaner]

Never promise to marry someone! *sigh*

Never stop seeing other women *sigh*

Never go with a katoey *hrrmmp*

Never try and kill a 2 metre cobra with a 1 metre stick.

Never give yourself a blow job with a hoover.

Never stick a gerbil up a vagina or an anus.

Never use a lighted candle as a dildo.

Never call a rather well built afro american doorman a stupid fat [at][at][at][at] (even if it's true)

Never sniff your mum's knickers.

Never offer to give your mate a hand when he says he's too tired to masturbate.

Never get an apartment that takes the afternoon sun.

Never marry a girl who's got fat ankles.

Never marry a girl who's mum is butt ugly.

Never offer to take care of two drunk bar girls at closing time at soi Cowboy.

[Wally Dorian Raffles]

Never get really wasted then take a girls shoe off in a seedy Tokyo club and put her entire foot in your mouth when your work colleagues can see you.

[poolcleaner]

Damn I've always wanted to try that!

Never have sex with your best mates mum, divided loyalties all round etc.

Never offer to babysit.

Never try and shoplift a refrigerator.

Never put baht coins in your ears.

Never pull a street elephant's tail when you're pissed outside Nana.

Never stand on a wheely chair to change a light bulb.

Never scratch a measles sore or a mosquito bite.

Never kiss a girl after she's just blown you.

Never atke a girl to a short time in soi rang nam when you're trashed and she's on the rags. *blush*

Never do a bush pig.......................again................*dh oh*

[Captain Sensible]

Never tell anyone that you have smoked three packets of ciggies in a day.

[Norm the Glare]

Never tell your girlfriend she's not at tight as her sister.... even if it's true!!

[seth106]

made me giggle, deserves a rerun on page 1 methinks.

Things have changed around here a bit, but there was over 5000 posts since i last logged in.

Hou you are all well where ever you are

[DJ Pat]

Never go out with Wally's mate "Rat"

[The Gentleman Scamp]

Shoplift.

[Ice Maiden]

Never trust a man that has the whole player image.

Never trust a man in a relationship fullstop.

Never be gulliable and believe he loves you.

Never send a man text messages such as "I love you" "I miss you".

Never stay with a man that sends you those text messages.

[Goddess of Whatever]

Never say "I promise.." if you know you will never keep it.

[Ice Maiden]

Never say "I promise.." if you know you will never keep it.

Now thats a good one GoW!

[FozzieBear]

Never lend money that you can't afford not to be repaid !

Theres an even chance you will never see it again!

Oh and never drink beer out of your shoe!!!!! (Scampy)

[forreachingme]

Never ever give your mobile number to a barlady

Exept may be if it is the international one and you are ready to send some cash over

[Whiteshiva]

Never say "I promise.." if you know you will never keep it.

Now thats a good one GoW!

In fact, never say "I promise..." at all - it implies that you normally don't keep your word.....

[The Gentleman Scamp]

You should never get 'cooling' talc on your spagglepods.

[machangezi]

Never share a secret. Secret is best kept between two people when one's dead.

[Propagator]

Never tell the truth when asked "Does my bum look big in this dress?"

[Wally Dorian Raffles]

Never share a bowl of peanuts with somebody who has just done a poo, and was forced to use the bucket...

[FozzieBear]

Never remove your dentures on your first date... and move the glass by your bed to a more appropriate location