Decided to stay away from the bars and massage joints this Sunday afternoon. Really couldn’t be arsed working either. Was keen to have a good feed and something to drink, but couldn’t think of the right place. Mrs. Kerr suggested chilli crab and some strong gin and tonics at home, and after a few weeks away I’d just about have my balls chopped off if I disagreed.
Unfortunately Mrs. Kerr and most other Thai women I know have no feckin idea it when it comes to buying crabs. Mud crab is the best to cook with chilli so after an unsuccessful look in the local Carrefour, I ducked up to the Huay Kwang market to buy some. One of the best things about living in Bangkok is you can just about find good, live crabs anywhere and anytime.
A mistake most people make when buying crabs is they often go for the biggest, cleanest, most colourful ones with the biggest, sharpest claws. Sure they look good, but chances are they’ll have fuck all meat in them. Crabs are like snakes in that they shed their skins when it is time to grow, and crabs with nice new big shells have usually expended most of their energy over the past few months growing their shells and their meat is very watery, kind of like jelly.
If you eat crabs in Thailand I’m sure you’ve come across this. What many of the sellers here do is put the big crabs with new shells in high salinity water for a few days before sale … their reasoning is that this causes them to take water on and as they are heavier they can make more from them. Of course for poor mugs like you and I, this means we end up paying too much for low quality product. For me I couldn’t give a stuff about the 20 baht difference in price, but if I go to the trouble of buying and cooking the feckers I want something I’m gunna enjoy.
Anyway, to beat this trick I usually look for crabs with the oldest shells possible. Lots of black coating on them, dents and bits missing are good. Also look at their claws … forget it if they are sharp. The more worn down the teeth on their claws are the more likely that they will be full of high quality meat. You can also apply a bit of pressure with your thumb on their backs (just next to where their claws join onto their bodies) … if there is any “give” there it is very likely they are full of water rather than meat (this is a good trick to make the sellers squirm).
Anyway, here are a few pics of 6 mud crabs I picked up for 300 baht (about $10) … just under $2 each. They aren’t big but they were full of meat. We turned them into chilli crab for dinner ... some pics and vids of that too. With the chilli and other stuff, 5 bottles of beer for me, and tonic water for Mrs. Kerr’s gins the total bill was less than 500 baht.
^ The crabs I picked up in Huay Kwang, Bangkok … they were 180 baht/kg, 3 crabs to the kg. I had a good chat to the seller and managed to get 6 crabs for 300 baht … shit it was a hot Sunday afternoon so I imagine he was glad to get rid of them before they died.
^ They weren’t big, but they were full of meat. Their shells were old and beat up, and the teeth on their claws where also very blunt ... these are the best things to look when trying to buy crabs that haven't just molted and are full of water rather than meat.