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  1. #1
    Balls to Monty
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    Peeing woman falls from balcony, gets picket fence in rectum, sues fiance

    A WOMAN who impaled herself on a picket fence when she fell while urinating from an unprotected veranda has sued her former fiance for substantial damages.
    In a Supreme Court writ, Michelle Egglestone of South Ballarat claims that the veranda at the house in Smythes Creek was constructed without any or with inadequate ballustrading and this caused her to fall a small distance to the star picket fence below.

    Ms Egglestone, 35, sustained "penetrative injuries to the rectum, vagina and bladder necessitating surgical treatment involving laparotomy, repair of the bladder, repair of the vault of the vagina and colostomy'', according to her statement of claim.

    Woman sues ex-fiance after falling while peeing from his veranda | News.com.au

  2. #2
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    The verandah had inadequate ballustrading for a bird taking a piss on it.

    Class.


  3. #3
    Thailand Expat
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    Sounds like they both got fucked.

  4. #4
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    She's takin the piss

  5. #5
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    Sounds like she had a fucking massive fanny anyway.

    "repair of the vault of the vagina"

    what was she keeping in there? Gold Bullion and safe deposit boxes? No wonder the Verandah collapsed!!!

  6. #6
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    No toilet inside the house, or just to lazy and bogan to use it?

    Gives the expression "tearing someone a new arsehole" a whole new meaning...

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Looper
    A WOMAN who impaled herself on a picket fence
    Was it Wilson Pickett?

    A few of his tunes for her : "Love Dagger", "Take Your Pleasure Where You Find It", "I'm a Midnight Mover"

  8. #8
    Tax Consultant
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    Quote Originally Posted by harrybarracuda View Post
    The verandah had inadequate ballustrading for a bird taking a piss on it.

    Class.

    I expect it was designed with a different type of bird in mind.



    Presumably Michelle Egglestone had never used an indoor lavatory before.

  9. #9
    I am in Jail

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    Quote Originally Posted by harrybarracuda
    Class.
    Yeah a real class bird for sure, pissing off a balcony, certainly got style!

    He's had a narrow escape dumping this one for sure, that's if he did dump her? maybe the writing was on the wall.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by genghis61 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Looper
    A WOMAN who impaled herself on a picket fence
    Was it Wilson Pickett?

    A few of his tunes for her : "Love Dagger", "Take Your Pleasure Where You Find It", "I'm a Midnight Mover"
    I would suggest "Every Little Bit Hurts" by Urethra Franklin.


  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by harrybarracuda View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by genghis61 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Looper
    A WOMAN who impaled herself on a picket fence
    Was it Wilson Pickett?

    A few of his tunes for her : "Love Dagger", "Take Your Pleasure Where You Find It", "I'm a Midnight Mover"
    I would suggest "Every Little Bit Hurts" by Urethra Franklin.



  12. #12
    or TizYou?
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    Michelle Egglestone, 35 of South Ballarat.
    Looks like she has 2 facebook accounts.

    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001221916169


    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001211152975

  13. #13
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    "Was urinating from veranda, fell on to fence", that old story, get some witnesses from the local A&E they see it every week.

    The defence will claim that the fence post, ex 50x50 but had a nice scroll finish, was inside her before she went to the veranda for a pee.

    The defence has a video of the whole evening.

    Case dismissed. Costs to the defendant.
    A tray full of GOLD is not worth a moment in time.

  14. #14
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Patio pisser pierces piss flaps on picket fence.

  15. #15
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    would using a picket fence qualify as failed attempt at planking (Planking craze claims first life)?

    Very popular in Australia

  16. #16
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    Classy chick has she got a friend for me.On second thoughts can that i live on the third floor and shes got a vault vagina if she landed on one of the palms trees she might swollow it.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by genghis61 View Post
    would using a picket fence qualify as failed attempt at planking (Planking craze claims first life)?

    Very popular in Australia



  18. #18
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobo746
    Classy chick has she got a friend for me.
    Her mate nearly drowned throwing up in the bog, and ended up with a poodle stuck in her bottom and a sink plunger attached to her left tit. She didn't make it to her wedding the next day, and i presume is still free.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobo746 View Post
    Classy chick has she got a friend for me.On second thoughts can that i live on the third floor and shes got a vault vagina if she landed on one of the palms trees she might swollow it.


    That'd be SWALLOW.

  20. #20
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    No good i don't like poodles.^^

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