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  1. #1
    loob lor geezer
    Bangyai's Avatar
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    Ryanair to sell 5 tickets for standing-room only flights

    Ryanair to sell 5 tickets for standing-room only flights

    Ryanair is planning to run flights where passengers stand during the journey at a cost of just 5 per ticket.


    By Laura Roberts
    Published: 6:30AM BST 01 Jul 2010

    Michael O'Leary, the airline's chief executive, will set out proposals today that include charging customers to use the loo.
    A standing area with "vertical seats" will be introduced at the back of its fleet of 250 planes.
    He said that charging customers 1 to make use of facilities would encourage travellers on one hour flights to use lavatories at the airport instead of on the aircraft.
    The Irishman said he intended to introduce coin-operated loos and added: "The other change we've been looking at is taking out the last 10 rows of seats so we will have 15 rows of seats and the equivalent of 10 rows of standing area."
    A Ryanair spokesman said that Boeing had been consulted over refitting the fleet with "vertical seats" which would allow passengers to be strapped in while standing up, which would cost between 4 and 8 per person.
    Safety testing will be carried out next year.
    However, a spokesman for the Civil Aviation Authority said the plans would struggle to meet safety requirements.
    He said: "It's aviation law that people have to have a seat-belt on from take-off and landing so they would have to be in a seat. I don't know how Mr O'Leary would get around that one. During turbulence passengers also have to have a seat-belt on."
    Mr O'Leary was interviewed for ITV's How to Beat the Budget Airlines which airs on Thursday night at 7.30pm

    Ryanair to sell 5 tickets for standing-room only flights - Telegraph

  2. #2
    loob lor geezer
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    Great idea. For long haul flights, passengers traveling in the new ' super economy class ' could be stacked on shelves at the back of the aircraft and shackled to the bulkhead to prevent them from sneaking into economy. In the interests of weight saving , they would be required to wear loinclothes. In flight meal.....a fellow super economy passenger drawn by lot.

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat
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    How about a flight where you are administered an anesthetic and put to sleep for the duration of the flight. No restroom problems, no boredom, no need for leg room, no need to feed me and no "unruly" passengers. Too bad it's not really workable or safe, because I'd love the idea on one of those 17 hours flights back to Los Angeles.

  4. #4
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    smoking only flights.
    they'd make a fortune.

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by WujouMao View Post
    The Irish are just fracking daft.

    How do you confuse an Irishman?

    Show him two shovels and tell him to take his pick.
    or put him in a barrel and tell him to pee in the corner

  6. #6
    Eric
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    With a counter bar in front of your stand number I'd imagine it would be fine.

  7. #7
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    Instead of toilets, what about a short-time motel at the back of the plane? Maybe on each flight one or two Issan hoes to service male passengers. They'd make a fortune. The girls would love it because at the end of the flight they would have 571/2 pence (they charge everyone 1/2 pence a jump) and there would be loads of sad twats wanting to marry them and adopt their two boys from an Issan drug dealing father.

  8. #8
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    Seriously though, long haul is hell.
    It's the worst experience I,ve ever had, even first is not pleasant it's just less unpleasant.
    The plane is either too hot or cold, too humid or dry, food is garbage in all classes despite what the airlines advertise. Nothing works, headphones, entertainment systems etc. In flight mag is done with in 1 minute. More legroom on a 737 than on a 747. I mean honestly the airlines treat us like shit, but we are a captive audience.
    Falling asleep and waking up is not the same as passing out and coming to.

  9. #9
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    This might be more tolerable.


  10. #10
    Excitable Boy
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    This is it, apparently- kind of like a stand-up roller coaster 'seat':


  11. #11
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    Won't people just buy the GBP 5 'stand', then pay a quid and sit in the toilet for the whole flight.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by FailSafe View Post
    This is it, apparently- kind of like a stand-up roller coaster 'seat':

    Kind off reminds me of the regeneration alcoves that the Borg use......

  13. #13
    loob lor geezer
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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Ghost_Of_The_Moog View Post
    Won't people just buy the GBP 5 'stand', then pay a quid and sit in the toilet for the whole flight.
    Inspired thinking !

  14. #14
    Cool Cat
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    Quote Originally Posted by FailSafe View Post
    This is it, apparently- kind of like a stand-up roller coaster 'seat':


    When I have to fly economy on short flight, it's already a nightmare.

    On the other hand, when you see the way people travel in India ... O'Leary is not of Pakistani origin ? When you know who owns Harrods ... the only native there are probably the one leaving in Buckingham. Oh sorry, actually they are of French origin ...No wonder as soon as they get a little bit of money they cross the channel. It's a tradition here to send the unwanted abroad. France first to England then Cayenne, England to Australia, Ireland to USA, Cuba to USA, Russia to Israel ... That's how we end up with nation of criminals, no wonder !
    The things we regret most is the things we didn't do

  15. #15
    Thailand Expat terry57's Avatar
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    What about when you got a massive dose of the shits and cant find a coin to put in the shitter controller and your going to shit yourself and also ya cant get the foking seat belt undone on those stand up thingy's. ?

    Anyway I'd just back out a sloppy barkers nest down the leg of my undies and let them clean up the stinky mess for being tight bastards.

    Foking ell dudes, those pommy bastards are really taking the piss these days.
    Stroller is a Yerman faggot.

  16. #16
    Philippine Expat Davis Knowlton's Avatar
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    ^Thanks, Terry. My twins are studying the difference between American and English use of the English language. My son, who thinks he is quite cool, kept coming in with words to tell me in 'English' English - spanner vice wrench, boot vice trunk and the like. So, I told him that if he was so smart, to translate your post (which I just happened to be looking at at the time). He has now retreated to his room - humbled.

  17. #17
    Enjoys sheep
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    Quote Originally Posted by the dogcatcher View Post
    This might be more tolerable.

    I always wanted to get up those stairs but they never let me.

  18. #18
    Enjoys sheep
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    By the way, does anyone actually believe these bullshit stories they pump out?
    It's free advertising for the airline.

  19. #19
    Mid
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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Ghost_Of_The_Moog View Post
    Won't people just buy the GBP 5 'stand', then pay a quid and sit in the toilet for the whole flight.

    brilliant

  20. #20
    Thailand Expat
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    Piss in the corner.
    No rule against that I think.
    Ok, you'll get banned. But not a public place.

  21. #21
    FarangRed
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    The other month they was going to charge to go for a slash

  22. #22
    loob lor geezer
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    Quote Originally Posted by FarangRed View Post
    The other month they was going to charge to go for a slash
    They still are. Coin operated toilets......the way of the future. The future is brown !

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by the dogcatcher View Post
    smoking only flights.
    they'd make a fortune.
    They tried a whole airline like that. It pretty soon went tits up.
    Foking ell dudes, those pommy bastards are really taking the piss these days.
    Nothing to do with the poms, it's a pikey head of a pikey airline.

  24. #24
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by FailSafe View Post
    This is it, apparently- kind of like a stand-up roller coaster 'seat':

    I can see where and how a device such as that could be more pleasant than the economy seats which seem to be engineered for discomfort. Putting every other row back to back would double the leg room for each seat although you would have to share it with the passenger accross from you. Of course the real problem for the airlines is that making cattle class too comfortable would lower their more profitable business fare bookings.
    My brother's company will fly any of their employees business class, but if they agree to fly economy they are given the difference in the price of the 2 fares. I think that is a wonderful idea, a chance to make a little extra money, especially for a short thin employee. He says it's been very successful (about 80% of their employees chose to fly economy and pocket the difference) and it has been a real morale builder among their frequent travelers.

  25. #25
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    You can all laugh and take the piss. There used to be a day when a chap could sit down on a bladdy train and have the legroom to boot the annoying ficker sitting next to one. Within the space of a half a generation it has been made illegal to kick peasants. Why should cattle airlines be exempt?

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