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  1. #1
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    Lord Jesus Christ Run Down By Car

    Woman runs down Lord Jesus Christ

    Driver cited for failure to yield to pedestrian

    • Barry Kriger
    NORTHAMPTON, Mass. (WWLP) - Police say they checked the victim's ID. Northampton police issued a traffic citation this week to a driver whose car hit Lord Jesus Christ.

    It happened Tuesday on Main Street in front of Fitzwilly's restaurant.

    Northampton Police Lt. Michael Patenaude told 22News 50-year old Lord Jesus Christ of Belchertown was struck as he crossed Main Street around 3:30 p.m. on Tuesday.

    Twenty-year old Brittany Cantarella of Pittsfield was cited for failure to yield to a pedestrian in a crosswalk.

    Lord Jesus Christ was treated for facial injuries at Cooley Dickinson Hospital.

    Lt. Patenaude said Lord Jesus Christ had a Massachusetts Registry of Motor Vehicles identification card.


  2. #2
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    Smug Farang Bore's Avatar
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    Lord Jesus Christ - passed his prime now days....

    ...He'd of pissed that car away couple of thousand years ago...

    ...Can't handle the red wine any more.

    ...I blame the Muzzies gettin on his case.

  3. #3
    Party Animal!
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    Three days later he got up and walked out of the hospital.

  4. #4
    Balls to Monty
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirtydog
    Lord Jesus Christ was treated for facial injuries at Cooley Dickinson Hospital
    Fortunately he rose again on the third day and says he intends to take the shortcut across the lake from now on.

  5. #5
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    Ah 3 30 in the afternoon, all out of fish n loaves n well blow me down another 5000 had rocked up unexpected. So as Fitzwilly's had just closed...

    ...Off to KFC for a bargain bucket. Job done -tools in shead..

    ...but wasn't expecting 'ole Twenty-year old Brittany to ram him on the crosswalk.

    She better keep an eye over her shoulder in future. if I were her...
    Do you know what nemesis means?

  6. #6
    Member Number 42's Avatar
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    I bet the bastard won't just sit around and wait to heal like the rest of us! He'll just wave his hand over where it hurts and fix it instantly won't he! But he tells us that we have to suffer in our lives doesn't he! It's just another example of one set of rules for those godly types and one set for all the rest of us!!

  7. #7
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    ^ aw cum on mate the guys hittin 50 now. cut him some slack.

    Wonder if he's had a haircut and a shave. New pair of Chinos and Reeboks.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirtydog
    50-year old Lord Jesus Christ of Belchertown
    The vain little wench lied about his age.

  9. #9
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    What sort of person would change their name to Lord Jesus Christ, almost as mad as the Royal Glitterman.

    Fruity!
    Last edited by kingwilly; 11-05-2010 at 10:14 AM. Reason: Typo

  10. #10
    Hansum Man! panama hat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Wilson
    What sort of person would change their name to Lord Jesus Christ
    Considering close to all Muslims name their male offspring Mohammad . . .

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Wilson
    What sort of person would change their name to Lord Jesus Christ
    Iosif Vissarionovich Dzhugashvilli perhaps..?

  12. #12
    Thailand Expat AntRobertson's Avatar
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    50-year old Lord Jesus Christ of Belchertown
    Sweet baby Jesus, what a stupid name!

  13. #13
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Wilson
    What sort of person would change their name to Lord Jesus Christ
    Where does it say he changed his name, maybe his parents are to blame

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thetyim View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Wilson
    What sort of person would change their name to Lord Jesus Christ
    Where does it say he changed his name, maybe his parents are to blame
    Blame Mary and Joseph for everything?

  15. #15
    Member Number 42's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AntRobertson View Post
    50-year old Lord Jesus Christ of Belchertown
    Sweet baby Jesus, what a stupid name!


    Tottally agree. Belchertown has to be the stupidest name for a town I have ever heard..

  16. #16
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    Good to see your still on the case Number 42.

  17. #17
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    So, he who knows all and sees all gets run over on a pedex.
    not much hope for the rest if us then!

  18. #18
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    ^Oh I dunno mate...In the year of our Lord 2010 Smug Farang Bore rocked up to a wedding and someone said we ve 5 jugs of good wine here.! Where apon SFB turned them all back into water. Seeing there were no more loaves and fish left, he then buggered off for a curry....

    .....Amen

  19. #19
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    Looks more like Whoopi Goldberg than Jesus, imo. I bet he can turn welfare into wine, right enough though. Or at least malt liquor.

    Lord Jesus Christ says getting hit by car in Northampton crosswalk was part of God's plan | Massachusetts Local News - MassLive.com

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