Thread: Bed sharing 'drains men's brains'

The access to the baby for the missus adds an interesting dimension to the man/wife sleeping arrangements.

Its only in our modern civilized society that baby comes third in the sleeping arrangements and is separated from Mum, often in another room. In all traditional, less civilized cultures baby and mother sleep together and father takes third place.

Originally Posted by Panda

The access to the baby for the missus adds an interesting dimension to the man/wife sleeping arrangements.

Its only in our modern civilized society that baby comes third in the sleeping arrangements and is separated from Mum, often in another room. In all traditional, less civilized cultures baby and mother sleep together and father takes third place.

Or the father is happy to sleep in another room, and the benefit of better sleep outweighs any feelings of being left out that he may, but probably doesn't, have.

Originally Posted by robuzo

Originally Posted by Panda

The access to the baby for the missus adds an interesting dimension to the man/wife sleeping arrangements.

Its only in our modern civilized society that baby comes third in the sleeping arrangements and is separated from Mum, often in another room. In all traditional, less civilized cultures baby and mother sleep together and father takes third place.

Or the father is happy to sleep in another room, and the benefit of better sleep outweighs any feelings of being left out that he may, but probably doesn't, have.

The point being that its usually baby who gets put in another room.

Originally Posted by Panda

Originally Posted by robuzo

Originally Posted by Panda

The access to the baby for the missus adds an interesting dimension to the man/wife sleeping arrangements.

Its only in our modern civilized society that baby comes third in the sleeping arrangements and is separated from Mum, often in another room. In all traditional, less civilized cultures baby and mother sleep together and father takes third place.

Or the father is happy to sleep in another room, and the benefit of better sleep outweighs any feelings of being left out that he may, but probably doesn't, have.

The point being that its usually baby who gets put in another room.

People are moving away from that again already. Plenty of young friends of mine have the baby in the bed, and that's in Europe/USA. Come to think of it... _all_ of them, so I guess it's pretty popular now?!
It's easier for mom to breastfeed that way, only need to half wake up. But again it depends on the mother. My wife can't sleep with the baby in bed, so he's in his own bed next to ours, to be retrieved every time he wakes.

When they get older it's different again... I don't think there's a best way. Just whatever works for you. But yeah kids definitely lead to interrupted sleep, that much is certain. I never had any troubles getting enough sleep before we had kids...

Originally Posted by nikster

Originally Posted by Panda

Originally Posted by robuzo

Originally Posted by Panda

The access to the baby for the missus adds an interesting dimension to the man/wife sleeping arrangements.

Its only in our modern civilized society that baby comes third in the sleeping arrangements and is separated from Mum, often in another room. In all traditional, less civilized cultures baby and mother sleep together and father takes third place.

Or the father is happy to sleep in another room, and the benefit of better sleep outweighs any feelings of being left out that he may, but probably doesn't, have.

The point being that its usually baby who gets put in another room.

People are moving away from that again already. Plenty of young friends of mine have the baby in the bed, and that's in Europe/USA. Come to think of it... _all_ of them, so I guess it's pretty popular now?!
It's easier for mom to breastfeed that way, only need to half wake up. But again it depends on the mother. My wife can't sleep with the baby in bed, so he's in his own bed next to ours, to be retrieved every time he wakes.

When they get older it's different again... I don't think there's a best way. Just whatever works for you. But yeah kids definitely lead to interrupted sleep, that much is certain. I never had any troubles getting enough sleep before we had kids...

The thing is that you ought to give your missus and the kid the double bed and get a bed a safe distance away from the commotion. I am sure thats what the cave men would have done and I am sure thats the way it works in more traditional societies.

The gist of the OP was that men sleep less soundly when sleeping with their female partner. My theory is that its a protection thing evolved way back in our time a hundred thousand years ago or more so that a bear or some wild animal doesn't get the object of your desires. Or maybe so that some other sneaky prick doesn't come in and bonk your missus while you are sleeping. The whole equation changes when a kid comes along. The woman is now the protector of the infant and sleeps less soundly, while the father becomes something of an extra. That scenario wasn't tested in the study mentioned in the OP.

Mum, Dad and baby all in the same bed is probably not the best solution. I feel certain that back in our formative evolutionary times father cave man would have grabbed his animal skin rug and moved a safe distance from mother and child so as to get some sleep. But in todays world with factory made beds in set locations in the house and ownership of said beds being allocated to certain individuals, it becomes a more complex matter deciding who sleeps where.