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  1. #1
    Thailand Expat
    dirtydog's Avatar
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    Australians masturbating for money in London

    Come again, Aussie backpackers told


    AUSTRALIAN men backpacking through the UK are among the biggest sperm donors in London, new figures reveal.

    London fertility clinics have reported that up to a third of sperm donors are now foreigners, and many are visitors from Down Under, the Mercury reports.

    One of the capital's biggest clinics, the Bridge Centre, said Australian backpackers became donors to earn money to support their travels.

    "What you get with the 'grand tour' is very enterprising people who look at every single way of making a buck," spokesman Tim Mott said.
    In-depth: More health and lifestyle news
    With an official report yesterday warning that donor numbers in Britain were critically low, the clinics are hoping more travelling Aussies will lend a hand.
    "We need them. We need that winning spirit and we need some more left-handed batsmen so we're hoping that's in the gene set," Mr Mott joked.

    "If you're on the grand tour and you're spending 12 months in the UK, here's something you can do to make a bit of extra money.

    "They should have it on the same 'to do list' as going to the rugby at Twickenham.

    "It's a good cause and if we get enough Australian donors you could end up colonising the UK instead of the other way round." Fertility clinics can offer donors limited reimbursement for time lost at work and travel expenses.

    For 20 visits over several months, the payments could add up to 500 ($1200), Mr Mott said.

    Donors lost their right to remain anonymous when new laws were introduced in the UK in 2005.

    Children conceived through this process can now contact their biological fathers once they turn 18.


  2. #2
    ding ding ding
    Spin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirtydog
    Mr Mott

    Quote Originally Posted by dirtydog
    It's a good cause and if we get enough Australian donors you could end up colonising the UK instead of the other way round
    I should imagine hospitals have enough problems with petty crime already without having light fingered Aussie fathered babies nicking stuff out of the delievery rooms

  3. #3
    Love Thailand Carnwadrick's Avatar
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    As a young backpacker in the 60s we would sell our blood for about $8 a pint..problem was you could only donate once in 30 days...I like this trend better

  4. #4
    Tax Consultant
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirtydog View Post
    "We need them. We need that winning spirit and we need some more left-handed batsmen so we're hoping that's in the gene set," Mr Mott joked.


    Presumably Indians are now in greater demand.

  5. #5
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    Johnny Longprong's Avatar
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    ...and what a welcome addition of style and sophistication this will make to the gene pool.

  6. #6
    Thailand Expat Bobcock's Avatar
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    I'd sue if my child was found to be Australian.....

    Luckily I don't fire blanks.

    Certainly true they are all wankers though.

  7. #7
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Bit of advice for travelling Aussies. Don't forget the family album with your favorite mum photos. Just incase you can't get it up.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Johnny Longprong View Post
    ...and what a welcome addition of style and sophistication this will make to the gene pool.
    I believe they add a dash of chlorine to Aussie sperm.

  9. #9
    watterinja
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    Now we know LDMA's new occupation... sperm donor deluxe...

  10. #10
    Hifaluten Member
    Wayne Kerr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bobcock
    Certainly true they are all wankers though.
    Reckon you might be right there

  11. #11
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    in england at least......cos in Oz we have real good lookin sheilas and no need to wank.

  12. #12
    better looking than Ned
    Rigger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wayne Kerr View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Bobcock
    Certainly true they are all wankers though.
    Reckon you might be right there
    Better a wanker than a lier

  13. #13
    Thailand Expat Bobcock's Avatar
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    Nawty, I take it that cute little ass you are constantly babbling on about is an Aussie?

    Thos girls that you ended up in Cairns with when originally travelling from perth to Broome were Aussie?

    Brit ladesses are pretty much on a par with the fat beer swilling slappers you lot export to Bali.

    QED

  14. #14
    Thailand Expat Bobcock's Avatar
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    You could have a point there Rigger, I knew an Englishman who once told a lie.

    Never met an Aussie that did.

    But isn't Wayne an Aussie?...I met him briefly once, was far too big for a weedy Pom.

  15. #15
    watterinja
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    Australians masturbating for money in London
    Does this, then, imply that all Australians are wankers?

    Probably, many, if not most - surely not all?

  16. #16
    Boxed Member
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    Well I better not mention a nice little pommy girl I met in the Katherine hot springs named Helen Large and she had the biggest titties I have ever had my hands around....they felt all jubbly in the hot mineral waters as well.

    Oh and the African in Darwin and the Yank in Melbourne....but all the girls in Oz are much cuter than the pommy homeland hogs. Just thank your lucky stars its not the Welsh wanking in your donor wards.

  17. #17
    Thailand Expat nedwalk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bobcock
    Brit ladesses are pretty much on a par with the fat beer swilling slappers you lot export to Bali.
    got to agree with that mate.. thats why we send em to bali!!



    Quote Originally Posted by watterinja
    Does this, then, imply that all Australians are wankers?
    only the ones we send to pommie land..

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Johnny Longprong View Post
    ...and what a welcome addition of style and sophistication this will make to the gene pool.
    Heh...the gene pool was never that sophisticated to begin with.

  19. #19
    Tax Consultant
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    I've often wondered why Rolf Harris lived in London.

    Confirms my thoughts...



    Looks like he's left handed.

  20. #20
    watterinja
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    Looks ever so gay - a happy fella.

  21. #21
    Thailand Expat Bobcock's Avatar
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    Look at that fucking shirt!!!!!!!!!!!

    Aussie fashion personified.

  22. #22
    Hifaluten Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bobcock
    But isn't Wayne an Aussie?...I met him briefly once, was far too big for a weedy Pom.
    Yep, Aussie but you won't find me donning any get up like that Rolf poofter. I'm more a Benny Hill type apparently.

  23. #23
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    Johnny Longprong's Avatar
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    Do you reckon they're Rolf's teeth. Don't you think the dentist would have built a bit of age into em? Looks like a pox doctor's clerk in those chompers.

  24. #24
    Thailand Expat
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    Heh...the gene pool was never that sophisticated to begin with.

    At least this poor pommie bastard has a sense of humour, god knows the average pom needs one!! 55555xxxxx




    Oh, we love taking the piss from you poor shithouse cricket and rugby playing bastards.

    ....and we have long memories. See you in the summer big boys. 555555

  25. #25
    Thailand Expat
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    Hey, don't get all aggressive you bastards. We loves you like our bruvvers, cause we are. XXXX

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