Thread: Darwinian Testicular Conundrum

I was getting onto my bicycle today and squashed one of my nuts between thigh and saddle (since I prefer going commando ) which reminded of a question that has puzzled me for a while.

Why do testicles live in a bag hanging outside body? Why aren't they tucked away safe and sound with all the other vital organs? I know they are not vital to life but they are vital to successful reproduction so you would think that natural selection would have favoured the positioning of them somewhere where they are less likely to be torn off in a freak accident or mangled/crushed beyond use (or painfully squashed while cycling).

I know they are supposed to be kept cool by hanging outside the body but why is it that sperm has evolved such that it needs to be cooler than the rest of the bodily fluids. Why didn't we (and all the other mammals) evolve sperm that prefers being at 37C instead of couple of degrees cooler so the gonads could then be tucked safely away out of harms way giving us a reproductive advantage over any baggy-balled mutations?

I couldn't fnd the answer to this on Wikipedia so I thought TD was my next best bet

If they were safely tucked away then lovely ladies couldn't tickle them

^excellent point

nor suck...

nor.. teabag the GF

Nor tie a cable tie around them pull it tight and ping them with their fingers.

It's survival of the fittest.
When you sit on your nuts it kills all the weak sperm leaving only the strongest.
That way you have sperm that are more likely to work.
Kingwilly has a fitness program to keep all his sperm fighting fit and ready to fertilise any available woman.

I heard that Kingwilly only produces one uber sperm at a time.

^
That is correct.

One every 4 nano seconds

the nads are outside the body so men have something to scratch when they are trying to look intelligent

Thanks guys. Some good theories there

On a related note if you are planning a family I read some interesting sperm related facts a while back which may be able to help in favouring boys or girls.

Female sperm are apparently hardier than male sperm but they cannot swim as fast.

Sperm do not like the acidic environment of the vagina and have to reach the womb quickly if they are to survive and make a run for the egg.

Being tougher, the girls can survive longer in the vagina. Being faster the boys can sprint faster across the womb to the egg.

To favour the likelihood of a boy, do your girlie doggy style for deeper penetration so more of the faster male sperm make it quickly to the womb where they have the speed advantage.

To favour a girl, blow your beans only half way in, so the sperm has to spend longer in the hostile environment of the vagina, which will favour the tougher girls.

Having a hot bath should kill some sperm in the testes but it will kill more feeble males than hardy females so you also increase the odds of a girl by doing this.

What if you do her doggy style in the bathtub?

Originally Posted by Texpat

What if you do her doggy style in the bathtub?

You mean to say "she" had the last operation already, or you'd want to do the hershey tube?

No, that's ^ what you end up with. Little of each.

It is one of life's strange mysteries.

Is that a dime bag in her/his hand?

Originally Posted by Thetyim

Kingwilly has a fitness program to keep all his sperm fighting fit and ready to fertilise any available woman.

Absolutely true. KW's always ready to blow his own strumpet.