Senator Sues God

**DrB0b** · 19-09-2007, 03:39 PM

Nebraska Senator Sues God to Stop Terror Threats

By Ryan Singel

September 17, 2007 | 6:04:48 PMCategories: The Courts, Threats

Nebraska State Senator Ernie Chambers (D - Omaha) filed suit against God Friday, asking a court to order the Almighty and his followers to stop making terrorist threats.

The suit (.pdf), filed in a Nebraska district court, contends that God, along with his followers of all persuasions, "has made and continues to make terroristic threats of grave harm to innumerable persons." Those threats are credible given God's history, Chambers' complaint says.

Chambers, in a fit of alliteration, also accuses God of causing "fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating droughts, genocidal wars, birth defects, and the like."
Likewise the suit accuses God of having his chroniclers "disseminate in written form, said admissions, throughout the Earth in order to inspire fear, dread, anxiety, terror and uncertainty, in order to coerce obedience to Defendant's will."

Chambers, who has represented Omaha, Nebraska since 1970, asked the Douglas County district court for summary judgment or to set a quick hearing date "if the Court deems such a hearing not to be a futile act."
The senator also wants the court to issue a permanent injunction prohibiting God from issuing plagues and terrorist threats. It's unclear how this could work since God is usually understood to be all powerful.
Chambers does admit that God is omnipresent and omniscient, however. Since God is everywhere, the Nebraska court has jurisdiction, Chambers argues, and since God is all-knowing, Chambers need not serve him with a notice of the lawsuit.

The lawsuit indicates that Chambers attempted to make God appear in order to serve him by saying "Come out, come out, wherever you are," but the Almighty declined, like many defendants, to make it easy for a plaintiff to serve him with court papers.

Chambers filed the suit to make a point that the state constitution allows lawsuits to be filed for any reason, according to WOWT.

Attempts to reach Chambers for comment were unsuccessful.
God did not immediately respond to a non-denominational prayer for comment by this reporter.

The suit is Chambers v. God.

Threat Level - Wired Blogs

**DrAndy** · 19-09-2007, 03:43 PM

I think the suit is fair enough

Most of those terrorists invoke god as the driving force behind their actions. If he wins, as he should because god is unlikely to show up to defend the action, then gods representatives on earth, the mosques, churches etc, will have to pay.

**Ivor Biggun** · 19-09-2007, 06:46 PM

If God goes to court will he have to swear on the Bible ? For all we know he may be a non believer.

**Umbuku** · 20-09-2007, 02:24 PM

It will never fly.

They will have to establish what or who God or god is.

A verdict cannot be returned.

It will put the wind up a bunch of fundamentalists and make great PR for the senator.

**Hootad Binky** · 21-09-2007, 02:44 AM

God in the news

Israelites Sue God For Breach Of Covenant

NEW YORK–Attorneys representing the Tribe of Abraham filed suit against God in New York's Southern District Court Monday, citing 117 specific instances of breach of covenant.
February 23, 2000 | Issue 36•06 News

God Damns Minnesota Vikings As Requested

LIBERTYVILLE, IL–Responding to a fourth-quarter cry from diehard Chicago Bears fan Lester Ruddick, God damned the Minnesota Vikings Sunday. "Players and employees of the Vikings organization," God announced from Heaven, "I have heard the pleas of Lester Ruddick in the final moments of a dev
September 6, 2000 | Issue 36•31 News in Brief

God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule

NEW YORK—Responding to recent events on Earth, God, the omniscient creator-deity worshipped by billions of followers of various faiths for more than 6,000 years, angrily clarified His longtime stance against humans killing each other Monday.
September 26, 2001 | Issue 37•34 News

God Answers Prayers Of Paralyzed Little Boy

SAN FRANCISCO—Timmy Yu’s dream came true Monday, when the Lord responded to his plea with a resounding no.
December 9, 1998 | Issue 34•19 News

God Spending All His Time At Billy's House

files/radionews/07-149-God-At-Billys_T.mp3
September 18, 2007 | Issue 43•38 Radio News

God's Plan For Area Man Involves Kidnapping Ford CEO

MINOT, ND—Unemployed factory worker James Harold Gurshner told reporters Monday that God's plan for him, revealed during a moment of divine inspiration, requires kidnapping Ford Motor Company CEO William Ford Jr.
May 18, 2005 | Issue 41•20 News

God Promises 'Big Surprises' In Store For Hurricane Season

HOLLYWOOD, FL—The 2002 hurricane season will be packed with "big surprises, big windspeeds, and a big, big finish," God announced Monday at a press conference touting His fall schedule.
August 21, 2002 | Issue 38•30 News

God Diagnosed With Bipolar Disorder

NEW HAVEN, CT—The new diagnosis helps explain the contradictory aspects of the cosmos that have baffled theologians for years.
May 2, 2001 | Issue 37•16 News

God Re-Floods Middle East

JERUSALEM—In what theological and meteorological authorities are calling "a wrathful display of Old Testament proportions," the Lord Almighty re-flooded the Middle East Tuesday, making good on last week's threat to wipe the region clean if there was not an immediate halt to the bloodshed betwee
May 1, 2002 | Issue 38•16 News

Judge Orders God To Break Up Into Smaller Deities

WASHINGTON, DC—A U.S. judge ruled that God is in violation of anti-monopoly laws and ordered Him to break up into smaller deities.
January 30, 2002 | Issue 38•03 News

Search | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

**stroller** · 21-09-2007, 03:39 AM

The guy has no permanent address, it seems.
Have to get specops team to apprehend him, as they did with other terrorist suspects.

Goodness knows if it will ever reach court, if they lock him up in GITMO.

**Hootad Binky** · 21-09-2007, 07:19 AM

He Himself certainly possesses WMDs, it's well-documented, many witnesses.

(^ that's a lot s's in possesses, btw)

**Agent_Smith** · 22-09-2007, 01:06 AM

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