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  1. #1
    POTUS HOCUS
    david44's Avatar
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    Feeling Flush ? The final solution

    https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/uk-council-wants-to-pioneer-water-cremation-to-liquify-dead-bodies-and-flush-remains-down-the-drain-a3721541.html

    A UK council has plans to allow bodies to be disposed of through “water cremation” turning all but the bones into liquid that gets poured down the drain.
    Sandwell metropolitan borough council near Birmingham in the West Midlands wants a crematorium that can dispose of the dead using a technique which involves placing the corpse in a torpedo-like metal chamber where it is liquefied and flushed down the drain, the Sunday Times reports.
    The plans have been delayed by water company Severn Trent which has refused to give a “trade effluent” permit to the council, apparently arguing that it only covers waste disposal and not dissolved bodies.
    The technique, which is already used in parts of Canada and the US, is said to be more environmentally friendly than traditional cremation and uses less energy and produces fewer greenhouse gases.
    Rowley Regis crematorium has been given permission from the council to fit the £300,000 Resomator, or water cremation device, but Severn Trent has to give a permit before it can dispose of waste down the drain, according to the newspaper.
    I used to have a job at a calendar factory.
    I got the sack because
    I took a couple of days off.

  2. #2
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    pseudolus's Avatar
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    They are talking about liquidising dead bodies, right? What sort of sick fuck comes up with that? Who ever it is needs a mental evaluation, pronto. Bet they vote TORY as well.

  3. #3
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    Got to save some money on the ever increasing amount of paupers funerals every year which the local councils pick up the tab for.

    I await SeekingAss input on this thread as he used to be in charge of car parks and cemeteries for some council in the arse end of nowhere in the UK for 30 odd years.

  4. #4
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    Got no problem with it. They can have any bits that might come in handy and shove me in a blender.

    I'll be dead, I won't give a fuck.

  5. #5
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    Perhaps the resulting effluent could be recycled. Digital Buddhism brings you back as an organic cauliflower.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by david44 View Post
    The technique, which is already used in parts of Canada and the US, is said to be more environmentally friendly than traditional cremation and uses less energy and produces fewer greenhouse gases.
    You've got to be sh1ting me? The world has gone stark raving mad.

    Nothing about biological or chemical effluent. Full marks to the Severn Trent water authority. Serves them right for privatizing the sewerage works!

    Quite funny though as that is the same chemical process as making paper from trees.

    Also amusing as I can find no mention of the post process disposal of the effluent. Typical greenie/tree hugger stuff. Big on one problem, not so big on the difficult or inconvenient bits.
    Better to think inside the pub, than outside the box?
    I apologize if any offence was caused. unless it was intended.
    You people, you think I know feck nothing; I tell you: I know feck all
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  7. #7
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    Klondyke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by david44 View Post
    ...uses less energy and produces fewer greenhouse gases.
    Surely a good step on the way not to be one of the world highest polluters...

  8. #8
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    harrybarracuda's Avatar
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    It would be kind of cool to go out with someone shouting "Fire Number One!".

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  9. #9
    Pedantic bastard
    nidhogg's Avatar
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    Yikes. More than I really wished to know:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alkali...(body_disposal)

  10. #10
    Thailand Expat misskit's Avatar
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    ^ Soap!

  11. #11
    Pedantic bastard
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    Quote Originally Posted by misskit View Post
    ^ Soap!
    Yup. Apparently the Germans were not wrong, just ahead of their time.

    And the awful pun in "solution" just twigged with the chemist side of my brain.

  12. #12
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    So all that protein, liquified bone, and protoplasm can react favorably in a sewage treatment plant? Ewww!

  13. #13
    'ello 'ello 'ello Luigi's Avatar
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    Would you get done for cannibilism if you down 'em as a pint with a vodka chaser?

  14. #14
    Utopian Expat Chittychangchang's Avatar
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    If you can live with the stigma of being a cannibal, go for it.

    loads ate human flesh during WW2 just to survive, although they won't admit to it.

  15. #15
    or TizYou?
    TizMe's Avatar
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    Can I use this method to hide bodies?

  16. #16
    'ello 'ello 'ello Luigi's Avatar
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    Can joke with the coppers that the body's in your swimming pool.

  17. #17
    Thailand Expat misskit's Avatar
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    It’s odd people have focused on the “flushing” part of the water cremation as being sickening.

    When a body is embalmed the body fluids are drained out (DNA, pieces of tissue and all) and put into the sewer system. That ain’t pretty, either.

    At least when a body water cremated, it’s clean fluid.

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