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  1. #1
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    Woman In £1,000,000 Hat Tells Britain To ‘Live Within Its Means’



    A woman sitting on a chair made of gold has encouraged the country to “live within its means” during these times of austerity while addressing a room full of millionaires.

    She also voiced support for a government imposing longer working hours with less pay on junior doctors while wearing a hat encrusted with five rubies, 11 emeralds, 17 sapphires, 273 pearls and 2,868 diamonds.

    “One also hopes one’s government will put superfast broadband at the top of its agenda,” she added. “Because the Wi-Fi at Balmoral is totally pants.”

    She then left Parliament and returned to her £1 billion house. Her crown left shortly afterwards in its own horse-drawn carriage.

    Woman In £1,000,000 Hat Tells Britain To 'Live Within Its Means'

  2. #2
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  • #3
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    Mean while in a related story a black guy and his family jet around in a $3bn dollar aircraft that costs $180,000 per hour to operate just so they can have a two week vacation at government expense.

    Side note: There are two of the said $3bn aircraft as it is supposedly important that nobody knows which one he uses.

    Better to think inside the pub, than outside the box?
    I apologize if any offence was caused. unless it was intended.
    You people, you think I know feck nothing; I tell you: I know feck all
    Those who cannot change their mind, cannot change anything.

  • #4
    Thailand Expat Pragmatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hans Mann
    A woman sitting on a chair made of gold
    First sentence is bollix. Try again.

  • #5
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    Sickening. How fucking childish the brits are thinking we need a monarchy.

  • #6
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    Leave it aught guv, salt ov de earff, etc etc


  • #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by pseudolus View Post
    Sickening. How fucking childish the brits are thinking we need a monarchy.
    They need someone to tug their forelocks to.
    Perhaps this loon soon.


  • #8
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    Well the UK has never had a vote a to whether to keep these fuckers. The Aussies did, and voted FOR them

    Saps .

  • #9
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  • #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by pseudolus View Post
    Sickening. How fucking childish the brits are thinking we need a monarchy.

    America needs intellect and intelligence first. Dopes, the lot of them.

  • #11
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    ^ This has fcuk all to do with America.

  • #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by pseudolus View Post
    Sickening. How fucking childish the brits are thinking we need a monarchy.
    Do you really want a president?

  • #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by pseudolus View Post
    Sickening. How fucking childish the brits are thinking we need a monarchy.
    It is important to the very social fabric of the nation that we have a Kraut queen married to a bubble and squeak.

    Plus, she's good for business, the nips chinks and seppos spend a fortune on royal tat and watching blokes walking up and down in silly hats.

  • #14
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    I thought she traded the hat for a car 30 years ago.



  • #15
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    That would easily be compensated for by taking back the Crown Estate.

    Besides, France has more tourists, and I can not remember EVER hearing a Merkin or Chink standing on the top of the Eiffel tower saying "well it's all very nice, but the fact they do not have some royals makes it rather shit really".


    Quote Originally Posted by Ronin
    Do you really want a president?
    Do you think we need one?

    Here's what we need.. The house of lords cleared out, and replaced yearly with randomly selected members of the public and no one with assets in their family over a total of 10m quid is allowed in. They are told the following;

    1- Only allow laws to pass which you think are right for the people of the UK, not UK interests.
    2 - You will have fake lobbyists testing you to see if you take bribes. If you do, you and your family will be going to prison for 10 years. You must report all lobbyists / people trying to influence you to the police who in turn will be arrested and charged with treason.
    3 - You are not allowed to speak to any party politicians or advisers. Rules as above for both sides.
    4 - If you do not understand a law, who ever wrote the law / act will be booted out. All laws and acts to be written in simple english and not open to interpretation.
    5 - Here is the outline of the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and if you think that any law coming your way remotely contravenes any of these, you need to raise this, and if in doubt, reject it.

    After a year, they are replaced and if they of their family suddenly have a massive change in their wealth, or weird lucky breaks, that would be looked into.

    I think most people would be happy with 300 quid a day to sit around and do that. I would.
    Originally Posted by bsnub "No wonder I drive a tesla"

  • #16
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    Do as I say, not as I do.

    Ain't tradition grand...

  • #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by pseudolus View Post
    Sickening. How fucking childish the brits are thinking we need a monarchy.
    ...and you think you'll get something better as an alternative?

    After the crop of crap in terms of politicians and "biznis" leaders who are offered up for selection for top jobs, I'd take absolute monarchy in the UK any day.

    Do we want a president Blair, Brown, or Cameron? I think not.
    President Alan Sugar? President Joanna Lumley? President Benedict Cumberbatch?
    I mean really...

    As long as things like Eurovision, the Licence Fee, the Mirror, and other such abominations persist, I wouldn't want to go near any alternatives... just get King Billy Volkswagen and Frumpy Kate on the throne and it'll all be fine.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1F2i0rYMj8

    we are all figments of our own imagination.

  • #18
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    Well the UK has never had a vote a to whether to keep these fuckers.
    Actually, some of the constituent parts of the UK have elected their monarchs - it was a not uncommon practice in (many) years gone by ...

  • #19
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    That setting looks all wrong now. A time long past its glory of gold dripping of walls.

    Especially as China just bought the Gold vault in London.

  • #20
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    Get rid of the monarchs and elect a President , I recommend a Polish or Romanian for president ,

  • #21
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    Pseudolus
    Here's what we need.
    .... Cue yet another long winded and barely comprehensible shouty spittle spraying rant by a certifiable nutjob on how to replace a thousand years of relative stability with randomly chosen mob of anarchic misfits taken from the sewers of society.

    Even that posturing ponce russel brand makes more sense than you.

  • #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by thaimeme View Post
    Do as I say, not as I do.

    Ain't tradition grand...
    How do you know she doesn't live within her means? OK her means might be more than most but it may not suggest she doesn't live within them?

  • #23
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    If you carnt afford a million squid hat, you have to live within your means.
    Richer and doubtless more wise Royals will advise you to practise self sufficiency.

  • #24
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    No need to replace them, just drop the position. Nobody would notice that they'd gone.

  • #25
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    I wonder how many directly and indirectly rely on them for income. You have staff of the palaces, purchasers, property maintenance, vehicle maintenance , security, cooks, suppliers and their staff, assistants, clerks and many more I'm sure. The whole operation must be quite cumbersome.

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