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  1. #1
    Thailand Expat Pragmatic's Avatar
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    Cucumber anyone?

    Man facing jail after lover choked to death on cucumber sex toy during secret liaison



    The couple had drunk four bottles of wine before getting intimate with the vegetable with devastating consequences








    A man is facing five years in jail after his lover choked to death on a cucumber they were using as a sex toy during a secret liaison.
    The 46-year-old German man invited his mistress to his apartment while his wife and daughter were out of town, Bild reported.
    The couple reportedly drank four bottles of wine and a large amount of Schnapps before heading into the man's study were things got intimate.
    The accused told a court: "We would often use dildos as well as carrots and zucchinis in our sex life."


    On the day in question "she didn’t have any of her toys with her, so I grabbed a half a cucumber from the kitchen,” the man said.
    He is believed to have used the vegetable as a sex toy on his lover before sticking it into her mouth.

    The foreplay was reportedly interrupted when the man noticed smoke coming from the kitchen in the apartment, in Mannheim.
    He told the court: "I’d forgotten that I’d put a piece of meat on the stove for my dog.
    "It was burning. I ran into the kitchen, fed the dog and then smoked a cigarette on the balcony,” he told the court.
    When he returned to the study, he found his lover unconscious on the floor.
    The cucumber was still lodged in her throat and had cut off her airway.


    He told the court: "I tried to pull the pieces of cucumber out of her throat. But they were so mushy I couldn’t get them all."
    The woman was deprived of oxygen for minutes and slipped into a coma. She later died in hospital.
    In court, the prosecutor charged that the defendant's actions had been negligent.
    “He should have known that he couldn’t leave her alone for so long,” state prosecutor Reinhard Hofmann said.
    The judge is set to rule on the case on Friday and the defendant faces up to five years in prison.
    Man facing jail after lover choked to death on cucumber sex toy during secret liaison - Mirror Online

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat Black Heart's Avatar
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    ^ Does not make sense.

    Why didn't she pull the cucumber out? Tied up/bondage?

  3. #3
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    Why didn't she pull the cucumber out?
    probably too busy having a shit.

  4. #4
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    Another cucumber sandwich vicar?

  5. #5
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    if she hadn't have died she would probably ended up a vegetable.

  6. #6
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    My best friend was an emergency room nurse for several years, apparently cucumbers are a bitch to get out for anyone who sits on one by "accident."

  7. #7
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  8. #8
    Neo
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    I was walking past the greengrocer and I saw a sign that said 'Cucumbers, loose, 50p'
    I thought, I'll get one for the Mrs as that's her size

  9. #9
    Thailand Expat Pragmatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BobR
    My best friend was an emergency room nurse for several years, apparently cucumbers are a bitch to get out for anyone who sits on one by "accident."
    Reminds me about the woman who arrived at E&R with a vibrator stuck up her. The doctor said 'Don't worry luv, we'll soon have it out'. Ho no, I don't want you to take it out. I just want you to change the battery's.

  10. #10
    Utopian Expat Chittychangchang's Avatar
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    That's one of her five a day the other four where bottle's of grape juice.

    The hangover would have been a killer anyhow.

  11. #11
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    Can't have been much of a thrill down her throat...

    Meanwhile, Fritz and the Rottie are having a barbie on the balcony...

  12. #12
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    The hapless man even burnt the Dogs Breakfast.

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