Birth Father Wants Surrogate Mom To Abort One Triplet

[Hans Mann]

Surrogate mom Melissa Cook is facing pressure from the birth father to abort one of the unborn triplets she is carrying for him as part of their surrogacy contract. Cook spoke out Tuesday about the ethical dilemma she is facing.

“They are human beings. I bonded with these kids. This is just not right,” she told the New York Post.

The babies’ father, a man from Georgia, hired Cook for $33,000 to have a child by in-vitro fertilization using his sperm and the eggs of a 20-year-old donor.

The 47-year-old California native was implanted with three embryos, which all developed normally against the odds.

Cook said the birth father immediately began to complain when he learned all three embryos had survived. She is now 17 weeks pregnant.

Cook shared with the Post a letter she sent to the father arguing, “The doctor put in three healthy embryos . . . The chances were high they were all going to take. You knew I was 47 years old. If you knew you only wanted two babies, then why put in three embryos?”

The father has begun threatening Cook with financial penalties if she does not undergo an abortion for one of the triplets.

The father’s lawyer, Robert Warmsley, told Cook in a letter Friday that the dad “understands, albeit does not agree, with your decision not to reduce.”

“As you know, his remedies where you refuse to abide by the terms of the agreement, are immense [and] include, but are not limited to, loss of all benefits under the agreement, damages in relation to future care of the children [and] medical costs associated with any extraordinary care the children may need,” the lawyer warned.

“Cook received an additional letter Tuesday “urging her to schedule a ‘selection reduction’ — abortion of one of the fetuses — by day’s end,” the Post reported.

Cook told the Post that given the pressure she’s facing, she’s wavering on her decision to keep all three babies.

“I have to reduce. I’m scared. I don’t want to suffer,” she said.

Jennifer Lahl, head of the Center for Bioethics and Culture, a group that opposes surrogacy, told CNSNews.com that Cook reached out to her for advice, because she saw “no good reason to terminate a healthy pregnancy.”

“By all medical exams to date, the babies that Melissa is carrying are all healthy. It’s just a matter of we don’t want three. We want two, which for me is rather disgusting to see that’s how we treat children,” Lahl said.

Lahl said that this case was indicative of larger problems with surrogacy, commenting that “it’s treating women as hired paid workers – breeders.”

“We make demands about what kind of children we’ll have, what kind of children we want, how many children we want, how many children we don’t want,” Lahl said asking, “Do you really want to turn pregnancy into a commercial contract?”

Lahl’s organization has now set up a donation page to raise funds so Cook can afford to deliver all three triplets despite the financial penalties she is facing.

The growing demand for surrogates in the U.S. and abroad has led to ethical dilemmas similar to Cook’s, including an incident in Thailand in which an Australian couple allegedly abandoned their surrogate son after learning he had Down Syndrome. The couple left the country with the child’s healthy twin sister.

Thailand has since banned surrogacy for foreign couples and same-sex couples.

Birth father demands surrogate undergo abortion after he Learns she?s carrying triplets | NewBostonPost

[Pragmatic]

A difficult call by all concerned.

[kingwilly]

A difficult call by all concerned.

Not really.

The father is a disgusting pig. He should shut the fuck up. There is no ethical dilemma, babies are not cartons of milk, or tomato seedlings.

[roger77]

A difficult call by all concerned.

Not really.

The father is a disgusting pig. He should shut the fuck up. There is no ethical dilemma, babies are not cartons of milk, or tomato seedlings.

Of course there is no dilemma, some prick orders a new toy then gets upset and puts on a disgusting performance.

[Looper]

The father is a disgusting pig. He should shut the fuck up. There is no ethical dilemma, babies are not cartons of milk, or tomato seedlings.

Never had you down as an anti-abortionist Willy.

How old is too old for an abortion for embryos?

What about a woman's (or - shock horror - a man's) right to choose?

IVF often creates multiple pregnancies when only one was desired.

Lahl said that this case was indicative of larger problems with surrogacy, commenting that “it’s treating women as hired paid workers – breeders.”

Ummm.. well, yes, to state the obvious.

[Pragmatic]

If yous have ever been through IVF yous may understand a little better as to who's right or wrong in this case.
My wife and I have been through it twice giving us 3 children. A girl first time and twin boy/girl the second.
When having children born through IVF is very difficult. Firstly I believe there's only a 30% success rate overall. Secondly IVF children have a higher risk of having a birth defect.
Now with all 3 eggs implanted successfully the risk of having a sick child is higher than normal. It is even recommend by the Fertility Clinics that termination of some babies is better than losing all.
My wife was, first time, implanted with 3 eggs. Depending how you look at it all turned out well as 2 eggs never took. Our decision was decided for us and we produced a fine healthy daughter.
Willy you're wrong as health of the baby and the mother are paramount. By this woman going ahead and producing 3 children puts 4 lives in danger, hers and the babies.
On having our IVF twins the doctor who delivered our first child wouldn't take on my wife's pregnancy with twins. He said the risks were too high and we had to find another doctor.

[Iceman123]

^
No, Willy is right.
This is reported as a healthy pregnancy all round. Would you draw straws in picking the one to abort?
The father is so wrong, people with his morals do not deserve kids.
I am further disgusted that he tied the surrogate into legal knots to ensure he got his way.

[Kurgen]

the 'birth father' is a kunt, IMO

[Pragmatic]

Would you draw straws in picking the one to abort?

Legally, I can't comment. But I'm sure the IVF clinic will be advising the woman to abort one. As to which one is at the descretion of the clinic as they have the facilities to determine as to which is the weaker of the 3.

Multiple births

If more than one embryo is replaced in the womb as part of IVF treatment, there's an increased chance of producing twins or triplets.

Having more than one baby may not seem like a bad thing, but it significantly increases the risk of complications for you and your babies. Problems more commonly associated with multiple births include:
•miscarriage
•pregnancy-related high blood pressure and pre-eclampsia
•gestational diabetes
•anaemia and heavy bleeding
•needing a caesarean section

Your babies are also more likely to be born prematurely and/or with a low birthweight, and are at an increased risk of developing life-threatening complications such as neonatal respiratory distress syndrome (NRDS) or long-term disabilities, such as cerebral palsy.

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/IVF/Pages/Risks.aspx

[kingwilly]

Would you draw straws in picking the one to abort?

Legally, I can't comment. But I'm sure the IVF clinic will be advising the woman to abort one. As to which one is at the descretion of the clinic as they have the facilities to determine as to which is the weaker of the 3.

Multiple births

If more than one embryo is replaced in the womb as part of IVF treatment, there's an increased chance of producing twins or triplets.

Having more than one baby may not seem like a bad thing, but it significantly increases the risk of complications for you and your babies. Problems more commonly associated with multiple births include:
•miscarriage
•pregnancy-related high blood pressure and pre-eclampsia
•gestational diabetes
•anaemia and heavy bleeding
•needing a caesarean section

Your babies are also more likely to be born prematurely and/or with a low birthweight, and are at an increased risk of developing life-threatening complications such as neonatal respiratory distress syndrome (NRDS) or long-term disabilities, such as cerebral palsy.

IVF - Risks - NHS Choices

That's legal speak to cover their asses. ALL twins are at those same higher risks, we don't (yet) go around culling healthy twins or triplets due to a possibility of certain risks.

And BTW a partial abortion is incredibly risky for the remaining embryos and mother.

[Looper]

Is it OK to have an abortion before a certain time period in gestation or not OK?

The guy is being held emotional hostage by his employee.

This woman has been hired to provide a service.

IVF very often results in multiple pregnancy and very often will require abortion of one or more of the viable embryos. This would/should have been made clear to the service provider.

Of course the above arguments only hold provided that he is neither a poove nor a child molester.

[Pragmatic]

That's legal speak to cover their asses.

No, it's medical speak to make you aware of the pitfalls of IVF.

And BTW a partial abortion is incredibly risky for the remaining embryos and mother.

And having triplets born at six months is even more so, taking the mothers well being into consideration also.

[Pragmatic]

we don't (yet) go around culling healthy twins or triplets due to a possibility of certain risks.

Yes 'we' do Willy.

Triple to twins reduction has statistically shown better pregnancy outcome with premature birth before 32 weeks reduced to 10.1% from 20.3% and miscarriage before 24 weeks reduced to 5.6% from 11.5%.[5]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_reduction

[kingwilly]

we don't (yet) go around culling healthy twins or triplets due to a possibility of certain risks.

Yes 'we' do Willy.

Triple to twins reduction has statistically shown better pregnancy outcome with premature birth before 32 weeks reduced to 10.1% from 20.3% and miscarriage before 24 weeks reduced to 5.6% from 11.5%.[5]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_reduction

That link, and most other cited articles available, eg Obstetrics & Gynecology are referring to multiple births as result of reproductive technologies. However, I concede that perhaps it happens occasionally (in a variation on rule 34 of the Internet) and therefore will not insist that it never happens.

[phukitbound]

I have to agree with Willy and a few others on this. Contract or not, the lady is now 17 weeks pregnant. This is the second trimester where toes and fingers are already developed. Getting rid of a baby at this time is infantcide imo.

Have the baby and then the father will have to deal with it or give it up for adoption.

[Pragmatic]

Getting rid of a baby at this time is infantcide imo.

But it's accepted 'infantcide' with IVF, by giving the other babies a better chance of surviving. You really need to go through IVF to understand the case in question.

[phukitbound]

Getting rid of a baby at this time is infantcide imo.

But it's accepted 'infantcide' with IVF, by giving the other babies a better chance of surviving. You really need to go through IVF to understand the case in question.

Perhaps..I guess I can never do the In Vitro thing. Maybe I don't fully understand, but It doesn't mean I agree with it.

[Looper]

Contract or not, the lady is now 17 weeks pregnant. This is the second trimester where toes and fingers are already developed. Getting rid of a baby at this time is infantcide imo.

If it has gone past the legal deadline for abortion then the guy is probably out of luck but I presume the request to terminate one embryo was made some time ago, before the deadline, in which case her refusal is awful for the parents. That is presuming she also understood the likelihood of the request in advance given that this is IVF.

[Pragmatic]

Perhaps..I guess I can never do the In Vitro thing. Maybe I don't fully understand, but It doesn't mean I agree with it.

You'd have to be pretty naive to enter an IVF programm without having first researched all senario's that you are likely encounter in the coming year or so.
I believe the male did. The surrogate mom didn't as it was just another way to make money. She just provided her body. The concerns of well being for the children wasn't/isn't her concern. Unfortunately she became a real person when the triplets were implanted and her concience then kicked in. If she's stayed as she was this story wouldn't have arisen.

[kingwilly]

You really need to go through IVF to understand the case in question.

Bollocks. That's a variation of the "You not Thai, you no understand Thailand" or Terry's insistence that only Australians can understand the Aborigine problem.

[Pragmatic]

Think what you want Willy. There's a difference in understanding theoretically and understanding practically. Once again you are wrong Willy.

[Latindancer]

I didn't notice anyone mention the risk to the mother or the other 2 unborn children if the mother had aborted one.....or had been forced to. It'd be a difficult procedure.

[Pragmatic]

I didn't notice anyone mention the risk to the mother or the other 2 unborn children if the mother had aborted one.....or had been forced to. It'd be a difficult procedure.

It's a procedure that has been in existance for many years, even before IVF was talked of. This termination of a twin/triplet isn't a new thing it's carried out across the world and never really been questioned. But now this woman has decided to make an issue out of it. A surrogate mother/father should not get involved emotionly. They're contractors who are paid to provide a service. End of.