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  1. #1
    The Pikey Hunter
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    Cops foil plot to strangle and castrate Justin Bieber

    A WARPED plot to castrate and kill teenage pop singer Justin Bieber has been foiled by cops.

    Two men have been arrested - one having been found with a pair of PRUNING SHEERS in his car.

    The men - Mark Staake and his nephew Tanner Ruane - are said to have been hired to carry out the twsited killing by Dana Martin - who is serving 978 years in prison for rape and murder.

    The sick attack was due to have taken place in November when Bieber was performing concerts in New York.

    After abducting him reports say they intended to kill the superstar by strangling him with a necktie.

    Police claim Staake met Martin in Las Cruces prison in New Mexico.

    Martin then recruited him to kill four people - including Bieber, it is claimed.

    Martin is understood to be obsessed with the Canadian singer, and has a tattoo of the 18-year-old on his leg.

    He allegedly ordered Staake to carry out "the murder and castration of Bieber and his bodyguard".

    Police intercepted phone calls between the men, including a call from a disappointed Mr Ruane to Martin, allegedly telling him that the plot had not been carried out.


    Read more: Plot to strangle and castrate Justin Bieber thwarted by cops | The Sun |News
    You, sir, are a God among men....
    Short Men, who aren't terribly bright....
    More like dwarves with learning disabilities....
    You are a God among Dwarves With Learning Disabilities.

  2. #2
    A Cockless Wonder
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    I'm in.

  3. #3
    Days Work Done! Norton's Avatar
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    Arrested! Should be given a medal of some sort.

  4. #4
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    They didn't have the balls to do it

  5. #5
    Whopping Member
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    A guy with a Justin Bieber tattoo on his leg? WTF? If anybody ever suggests that TD is full of weirdoes again, I'm going to refer them straight to that story.

  6. #6
    Thailand Expat
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    Androgynous little fart certainly seems to attract the nutters..



    The cat in Nidhogg's avatar can attest to that.

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat AntRobertson's Avatar
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    Bastard cops, always there when you don't need them!

  8. #8
    Lord of Swine
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    There. Is. NO. Santa.

  9. #9
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gerbil
    A WARPED plot
    I think GENIUS is what they meant to write.

  10. #10
    splendid and tremendous
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    What is the obsession with this little fuck? He doesn't sing he fucking well squeaks - and he looks like a ponce.

  11. #11
    Lord of Swine
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    ^ I think everyone is subconsciously envious of the little twat.

  12. #12
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    Going by the way he sings I thought he had already had his bollocks removed ! either that or the fuckers havent dropped yet .

  13. #13
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    I think everyone is subconsciously envious of the little twat.
    I'd rather be a vagrant tramp living in a gutter in Calcutta. That rhymed. Do any of this Bieber characters verse so. I doubt it. Probably more of a whining cacophony invariably featuring the words 'Baby, Baby, one more time'

    Thinking about this. Who the fuck was that trite old tart who penned the earth shattering lyrics 'Do you have a girlfriend? You're looking real cool'

    Death by stoning would be an appropriate approach to relieving the planet of such utter fucking wankers.

  14. #14
    euston has flown

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    I haven't got a clue who Justin Bieber is and reading this thread make me think its a very good idea too keep it that way.

    he sounds worse than that rebeca black and that crime against humanity



    (a suitibly dubbed version to protect the minds of the more fragile members of TD)
    Last edited by hazz; 14-12-2012 at 12:45 PM.

  15. #15
    Lord of Swine
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    I think everyone is subconsciously envious of the little twat.
    I'd rather be a vagrant tramp living in a gutter in Calcutta. That rhymed. Do any of this Bieber characters verse so. I doubt it. Probably more of a whining cacophony invariably featuring the words 'Baby, Baby, one more time'

    Thinking about this. Who the fuck was that trite old tart who penned the earth shattering lyrics 'Do you have a girlfriend? You're looking real cool'

    Death by stoning would be an appropriate approach to relieving the planet of such utter fucking wankers.
    Not his life or ah.."talent" (though to be fair I've never heard one of his songs.)
    But being 18,having a zillion dollars and probably an equal number of sweet thing groupies couldn't be all bad.
    Be a bit hard having to put up with that hair though, and being Canadian.

    Here ya go.


  16. #16
    Thailand Expat
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    I thought this thread was a pisstake.

    Actually pretty nasty when you think about it.

  17. #17
    Fuck it
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  18. #18
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by steve down under View Post
    Going by the way he sings I thought he had already had his bollocks removed ! either that or the fuckers havent dropped yet .

    Think he's still pre-pubescent, hence his appeal probably. Jimmy Osmond, Aled Jones, etc.

  19. #19
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gerbil
    Cops foil plot to strangle and castrate Justin Bieber
    Knowing how corrupt the US legal system is, I doubt these cops will ever be bought to justice.

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