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TeakDoor Secrets Explained

If you are reading this it means you most likely have joined TeakDoor, on joining us you stated you were 18 or over, this means you are supposedly an adult, we obviously expect you to act like one suprisingly enough, so lets get to the meat of this page then shall we...

The Basics

Before you post you need to understand that the forum is divided into three sections with a different standard in each section.
a) Speakers Corner is where you can discuss intellectual stuff with a bunch of nutters.
This is moderated so that threads stay on topic, kept civil and of course no flaming.
Staying on topic means that moderation comments will be trashed.
b) Main forum. Information, advice and trip reports. Light hearted, no flaming and keep it sensible.
c) The Lounge, Members & The Dog House.
Free speech allowed as much as possible, less moderation but keep family, threats and accusations out of it.

Bumping

We hate bumpers, if you bump a post that is old and add nothing of value to it we trash your post, remember, a smiley adds no value at all to any thread, neither does "great thread" or "nice pics", they are destined for the great trash bin in the sky.

Additional Features

As your post count increases you will be given extra features.
Here are the post counts needed.
5 posts; Post a picture
50 posts; Post a hotlink
50 posts; Send a PM
50 posts+30days; Choose your signature
50 posts+30days; Send Reputation
100 posts; Access to Members forum
1000 posts; Change your user title
1000 posts; Turn off Repo display

Using the Gallery & Posting Photos

If you want to post pictures then you must upload them to an online gallery first.
You can use the TeakDoor Gallery to store them.
This is a test. If you are intelligent enough to upload to the gallery then you should be intelligent enough to know what sort of pictures are acceptable.
Hundreds of people have passed the test, you have to do the same.
Don't complain about it, we ain't going to change it, although you can learn how to use your gallery and post photos from the stickies here.

Languages Allowed on TeakDoor

TeakDoor allows 2 languages, Thai and English, everything else is classed as goobbledegook and will be trashed.

Specific TeakDoor Forums

The News Forum is suprisingly enough exactly that, it is for news from what people would consider news sites, yes even Fox News is considered a news site, but JoeBloggsIHateWhatever.blogspot.com is not a news site, it is a blog, so if you want to post a news story post it, also post where the news story comes from, if you don't then it will just be trashed, and no, we don't bother private messaging you when we trash your crap because you couldn't even be bothered to post the story and where it comes from together.
Remember, the News Forum isn't for posting youtube clips or discussing your repo, it isn't for asking why your off topic posts got trashed, it is for news only, your repo is not and will never be "NEWS".
Opinion Pieces in the news are just like A$$ holes we all have one, but opinions are not news, if you want to post an opinion piece as an opening post, post it in the Speakers Corner
Visa Forum is for immigration and visa queries and discussion.
This forum will be kept on topic and as accurate as possible for the benefit of all members trying to get good advice. If you don't know the distinction between a visa, an extension, a permission to stay,TVE and VOA then don't bother giving advice because your post will be trashed.
There is a forum called Thailand - The Royal Family.
This is where you post anything and everything that mentions or references the Thai Royal Family, there is no other forum that this subject can be posted about in.

The Pattaya Forum, now most people come to Pattaya due to the availability of women, we don't mind bar reviews or even gogo bar reviews, but we don't want blow by blow accounts of what you and dirty Noi did in some short time hotel.

Advertising on TeakDoor

Do you run your own business?
Great, you can advertise on TeakDoor. The rates are very reasonable.
If you try a sales pitch without paying it gets deleted, this applies to signatures as well.

We have a free Classified Section if you want to sell personal items.

But I Hate Him/Her

If you develop a dislike for another poster then you have the option to put the poster on ignore so that his posts are not displayed.
This is much better than pretending you suffer from Tourettes for the next ten years.

We often get asked "I'm black, can I still post?" The answer is "yes" TeakDoor welcomes members of any creed or colour.

"Can I post if I'm gay?" The answer is "yes". Teakdoor welcomes members of any sexual preference.

"I'm heterosexual, a prolific poster and live in Bournemouth, can I post?" No, fuck off.

"I'm asian, female and want to get pregnant, can I post" Yes, but it might be quicker if you just email kingwilly direct.

Nigerian Scammers

Are you a Nigerian Scammer? No-one on Teakdoor ever buys a mobile phone by mail order so don't bother trying to sell them here, you may want to check if we have you listed already in our Phone Sales Scam page.

Indian Spammers

Now you maybe under the belief that the height of SEO is posting rubbish on different forums with your signature full of spam, believe me it is not, for one on TeakDoor neither Bots nor guests can see your signatures, but regardless of that we delete your posts, we then ban you, we also quite often email the company your spamming for with a nasty email asking them to cease and desist their spamming giving your IP and email address, doesn't look too good for you does it when we do that, may not help your reputation, but honestly we don't want your shit spam on our forum.

Idiots

We have a special place in our hearts and also on the forum for you special people, we call it The Dog House, here we proudly showcase some of the worlds greatest internet idiots, many are repeat offenders, and some will never be released again, you can learn more about our special members at our Prisoner Records Page.

Deleted Posts/Threads

So, your wondering where your post/thread went, well it was either moved to The Dog House or to the forum trash bin, so it hasn't been deleted just yet, it will stay there for around 3 days and will then be hard deleted from the forum, so if you believe your post had some merit to it you have 3 days to bring up the subject.
You may also be banned from that particular thread in which case you won't be able to read or post in it.
If you repost your trashed post again it will again be trashed and you will quite likely be joining some of the worlds greatest idiots in The Dog House.

Don't Drink & Post

Now this is a sensitive subject and most users can't afford a usb breathalyzer so we will try to guide you through this in our usual helpful manner.
a) Monitor is completely illegible - Not turned on, hit the power button.
b) Your computer has suddenly acquired an extra monitor - Double Vision, Wait 10 minutes and try again.
c) The keyboard feels slimy and you can't read the letters - You've been sick, have a coffee and try again.
d) No matter how slowly you type it always comes out as "fokwit, fokwit,fokwit" - Congratulations, you're ready to post