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  1. #1
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    somtamslap's Avatar
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    A trip to Weymouth; the Hua Hin of England

    Weymouth is a bit like Hua Hin. Actually, no scratch that. It is absolutely fucking nothing like Hua Hin. But if one was to liken British seaside resorts to Thai tourist hotspots, I'd probably pair them together.

    Pattaya - Blackpool

    Phuket - Bournemouth

    Samui - Skegness

    Koh Chang - Torquay

    Hua Hin - Weymouth

    Oh my. What a woeful state of affairs. WHo the fuck am I kidding? No one, that's who.

    Anyway you can keep your sun-drenched golden sand and warm azure surf. Keep it! And damn it to Hades and back.

    This year we went to Weymouth and had a ruddy, bloody marvellous time - ish. Here I have documented the journey in pictures.

    We travelled down by train Slappette number one can be seen here doodling on a copy of the Metro, which is pretty much all it's good for:



    Upon alighting the train at Weymouth, I was totally shocked to hear that everyone was hungry, so we made haste and ran for our very lives to the nearest purveyor of... well... anything! "Just give us some fucking food," my family cried with anguished wails.

    Because we were at the sea, I plumped for something that used to live in it.

    Crab salad it sufficed:



    Now that we were fed and watered, off we trudged to the beach. It appeared that a quarter the nation's poulation had the same idea:



    After sandcastles had been built, the sea been paddled in, and several thoroughly unsatisfying games of bat and ball had been played, we repaired to my favourite place in Weymouth Wetherspoons (The William Henry) for dinner. And after everyone else was settled back at the B&B I went back there and drank myself stupid.



    However, the next morning I was up at 6.30 and busied myself with an eight mile run along the seafront.





    I listened to this as I ran, taking in the cool morning sea air. It was one of the greatest single moments of my adult life...





    Back at the B&B, and a proud moment for any father to behold... The little ones enjoying their first full-English breakfast - albeit a bad one. The orange juice was nice though.



    And finally, for me, the highlight of the trip. A good old Punch and Judy show:


  2. #2
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    It was kind of SeekingAsylum to do the Punch and Judy for you. He'll even risk crocodiles to get his hands on sausages.

  3. #3
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    Neverna's Avatar
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    Fookin marvellous, Slap. I have fond memories of Weymouth - buckets and spades, rubber rings and ice-lollies! And not forgetting the bloody seagulls!

  4. #4
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    That's the way to do it!!
    The Great British getaway, nice weather all the time is all the U.K needs.
    Pissing down again today.
    Still training hard i see.Whats the book you're reading
    Thanks for sharing.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chittychangchang View Post
    Still training hard i see.Whats the book you're reading
    Steppe - Sci Fi by Piers Anthony I will assume.

  6. #6
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    I too have found memories of Weymouth, i spent some time there at HMS Osprey. The pubs used to sell a rather sweet and strong beverage to accompany your ale. "Snips" it was called.....parsnip wine !! oh the hangovers walked off along Chesil beach.

  7. #7
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neverna
    I have fond memories of Weymouth - buckets and spades, rubber rings and ice-lollies!
    I hope the kids come away with the same, and their memories of the beach aren't overidden by their father's formidable nocturnal flatulence.



    Quote Originally Posted by Chittychangchang
    Still training hard
    Got my long run up to a fairly comfortable 10 miles. Averaging about 100 miles per week on the bike. However, I still drink like a fecking fish and remain rather partial to a tray of Turkish fare.



    Quote Originally Posted by Iceman123
    Steppe - Sci Fi by Piers Anthony I will assume.
    Nein. Steppe on this occasion refers to the region.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    Nein. Steppe on this occasion refers to the region.
    The plot thickens..

    Eurasian Steppe
    The Eurasian Steppe, also called the Great Steppe or the steppes ...
    Mammoth steppe
    During the Last Glacial Maximum, the mammoth steppe was the ...
    Kazakh Steppe
    The Kazakh Steppe, also called the Great Dala, ecoregion, of ...
    Forest steppe
    A forest steppe is a temperate-climate ecotone and habitat ...

    TD CSI help is needed

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Neverna
    I have fond memories of Weymouth - buckets and spades, rubber rings and ice-lollies!
    I hope the kids come away with the same, and their memories of the beach aren't overidden by their father's formidable nocturnal flatulence.
    Did you take them to Radipole Lake to see the birds? Or at least to the car park to see the ducks?

    There's an RSPB Discovery Centre at the car park, too, but I've never been inside it. The kids might like it.

  10. #10
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neverna
    Did you take them to Radipole Lake to see the birds? Or at least to the car park to see the ducks?
    We built sandcastles and ate cheap cheese burgers. Oh, we also had a real bad game of mini golf and lost a fiver in the arcade.

    Classic British vacationing.

  11. #11
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    Ahh, culture rather than nature. Fair enough that, Slaps.

  12. #12
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    As a youth, i was told we needed a passport to go to the southern beaches of England.

    We didn't need one to go to Rhyll though, so naturally i assumed i must be part Welch, or that the overworked border guards were way to bollocksed to check our passports on an overworked bank holiday Monday morning.

    Fookin loved the seaside me.
    Loved leaving me nan buried in the sand with just her pinkies sticking out out so as the crabs or seagulls could have a nibble, but only after i'd robbed a two bob bit from her purse.

    Great memories daddy Slap.

  13. #13
    Molecular Mixup
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    Did you get some sand castle flags?
    they are part of the happy seaside memories package - for recall decades later..
    Never seen an EU flag - even little kids must hate that mob


  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by blue
    Did you get some sand castle flags?
    No, but I've just remembered we went out on a pedalo. Another trip highlight...

  15. #15
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    Do they still do donkey rides down there? Or is that against the law now.

    I have been to Weymouth, i was probably about the same size and age as the older slappermiss. Around 7 or eight.

    No pedalos in the olden ages...!! Crazy golf, arcades and Dad going off to the pub- yup.

    We had a caravan. That he would hitch up every year and drag his family all around England and Scotland!! I think we even went to Welsh Wales.

    I loved it, i was little. The others just wanted to curl up and die. Including my mum.

    Great memories!! I caught the mumps in the Lake District.
    Last edited by patsycat; 20-08-2016 at 06:58 AM.

  16. #16
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    Brighton is to Pattaya what Worthing is to Hua Hin.

    Blackpool is in a world of its own.

    Are you banned from driving Slap?

  17. #17
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    You really are a nasty person.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Here's my photo taken three years ago just a few metres from where you took yours


  19. #19
    splendid and tremendous
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    ^ Looks very similar. The furthest building looks the same.

    But those double yellow lines have left me in doubt.

    Good effort either way.

    NIce to see Weymouth meets the approval of the masses.

  20. #20
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    It's because you took the photo at the junction where the car is passing (in my photo). There are double yellow lines on the stretch of road past that.

  21. #21
    splendid and tremendous
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    Good point!

    My vision has been suffering of late due to excessive masturbation.

  22. #22
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    I guess they don't sell Unicorns in Weymouth. Bummer.

  23. #23
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    Inflatable dolphins, ducks and deer, for sure, Patsy, so I wouldn't give up on finding a unicorn.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Weymouth is a bit like Hua Hin. Actually, no scratch that. It is absolutely fucking nothing like Hua Hin. But

    However, the next morning I was up at 6.30 and busied myself with an eight mile run along the seafront.
    fantastic thread slappers , as usual, finding it a bit hard to believe about the 8 klick run though., next you'll de telling me withnall was there and run 10 Klicks

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neverna View Post
    Inflatable dolphins, ducks and deer, for sure, Patsy, so I wouldn't give up on finding a unicorn.
    Might have one in the back of the shop. Along with all the other dodgy stuff.

    Did you see in that pic, there is a small dingy? Launch your child out into the waves!!

    Bye Bye. I'll go back and eat my sand flavoured egg sarnies. Whilst you float off to France. And get confused to be one of those pesky refugees. Going the wrong way.
    Last edited by patsycat; 21-08-2016 at 01:28 AM.

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