Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 51 to 75 of 94
  1. #51
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    18-07-2018 @ 02:03 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,449
    Quote Originally Posted by Neverna
    Please take at least 2 amulets along with you in order to ensure a safe trip and safe passage through north west England.
    I'm certainly going to give Stoke on Trent a wide berth. I hear it's a hot bed of bestialitists.


    Quote Originally Posted by CSFFan
    ....can't wait to explain in my science class this term.
    I've got a good physics lesson for you to try. It's called 'Fat people can't climb hills'.

  2. #52
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    18-07-2018 @ 02:03 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,449
    A very tough outing on the bicycle this afternoon. From suburban London, over the South Downs and on to the coast, all amid inclement weather conditions. Some of the climbs on the Downs ramped up to 20 per cent and the head wind was perpetual. Just shy of 80kms all in.

    Upon arrival in Bognor - yes, Bognor - I quickly lost my faith in humanity. An absolute fucking dustbin of a place teeming with pond life. I'd rather hang my hat in a ditch in Sakhon Nakhon. I was almost moved sufficiently enough to brandish my mini hand pump and beat people up with it - just for being so ridiculously pikey. But instead, the sun had made a fleeting appearance and I hurried to the sea shore.

    I find the waters off Britain's coast incredibly atmospheric, thought provoking and full of promise...






  3. #53
    Utopian Expat
    Chittychangchang's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    10,094
    Quality pics.

    Can you avoid hills in Scotland?

  4. #54
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    18-07-2018 @ 02:03 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,449
    Quote Originally Posted by Chittychangchang
    Can you avoid hills in Scotland?
    No - the Scottish Highlands must and shall be traversed.

  5. #55
    Molecular Mixup
    blue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Last Online
    29-08-2017 @ 09:49 PM
    Location
    54N
    Posts
    11,353
    I've seen people towing little trailers behind them with all their gear on it, rather than panniers , but is it a good idea ?

    something like this but a lot smaller..


  6. #56
    Thailand Expat
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    18,030
    Quote Originally Posted by blue View Post
    I've seen people towing little trailers behind them with all their gear on it, rather than panniers , but is it a good idea ?

    something like this but a lot smaller..

    Pure class....


  7. #57
    Thailand Expat
    palexxxx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Chiang Mai
    Posts
    4,152
    Quote Originally Posted by CSFFan View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    Shere - the hub of the Hills and a very quaint little village
    Ah..that's why it's called the atmoshere....can't wait to explain in my science class this term.


    In Australia we call it the atmosphere. But you probably do things differently in your country.


  8. #58
    R.I.P.
    patsycat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Last Online
    08-11-2017 @ 09:54 PM
    Location
    Geneva
    Posts
    7,393
    If you're near Edinburgh at the beginning of August you can take me out for a pint.

  9. #59
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    18-07-2018 @ 02:03 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,449
    Quote Originally Posted by patsycat
    at the beginning of August
    As it happens I will indeed be Scotch side in early Aug. I'll be the wheezing fat chap on a semi-squashed and smelted contraption - with a pink carnation secreted under the left tit.

  10. #60
    Thailand Expat
    bowie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Last Online
    15-01-2018 @ 10:11 PM
    Location
    alone on a hill
    Posts
    3,192
    excellent photography - kudos.


    You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to somtamslap again.

  11. #61
    Thailand Expat
    Stinky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Next door to digit
    Posts
    11,167
    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Upon arrival in Bognor - yes, Bognor - I quickly lost my faith in humanity. An absolute fucking dustbin of a place teeming with pond life. I'd rather hang my hat in a ditch in Sakhon Nakhon
    "Bognor", You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and Pikery. We must be cautious."
    ―Obi-Wan Kenobi, to Luke Somtamslap

  12. #62
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    18-07-2018 @ 02:03 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,449
    Quote Originally Posted by Stinky
    "Bognor", You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and Pikery. We must be cautious."
    Correct. Next time I'll head to the civilisation of Littlehampton, or Mogadishu.

  13. #63
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    18-07-2018 @ 02:03 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,449
    Quote Originally Posted by bowie
    excellent photography - kudos.
    Ta mate. The Canon's certainly earning its keep. Well pleased with it for such reasonable money.

  14. #64
    En route
    Cujo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Last Online
    Today @ 10:42 AM
    Location
    Reality.
    Posts
    26,594
    Absolutely brilliant pics slap. I'll green you next time round as I need to reload.

  15. #65
    Sukhumvet
    VocalNeal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Last Online
    Yesterday @ 11:45 AM
    Location
    Bangkok
    Posts
    10,502
    Quote Originally Posted by Chittychangchang View Post
    Quality pics.

    Can you avoid hills in Scotland?
    Can you avoid pictures of Scotland

  16. #66
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    18-07-2018 @ 02:03 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,449
    I've started integrating a spot of endurance training into my daily commute - which basically entails cycling all the way to work and back twice a week. Fortunately the route takes in some stunning scenery. Unfortunately my vision starts to ebb some 10 miles into the ride and, combined with a forehead pissing out a steady deluge of sweat, I can't actually see a fucking thing.

    Today I rode at a pace which would allow me to appreciate some of the sweeping vistas encountered on the way.

    Box Hill. It's not really much of a climb. Compared to some of the Alpine-esque fare in Cornwall it's a veritable pimple. I still struggle, of course. This probably has something to do with the 10 kilos of kebab meat accumulated around my midriff.

    Looking back to past contours conquered...



    The iconic switchbacks of Box Hill. The Olympic road race came up here nine times in 2012...



    A couple of likeminded - yet decidedly less portly - types pedal with purpose to the summit...



    Meanwhile, the steed belonging to yours truly lays dormant in a ditch - it's owner still a heavily wheezing mess of a person...



    50kms before work tends to be more effective than a Nescafe instant, mind you.

  17. #67
    R.I.P.
    patsycat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Last Online
    08-11-2017 @ 09:54 PM
    Location
    Geneva
    Posts
    7,393
    Do your workmates not, sort of, or sometimes mention your odor upon your arrival. Or do they do the same, perhaps?

  18. #68
    Thailand Expat
    Stinky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Next door to digit
    Posts
    11,167
    He prolly has a French wash when he gets there.

  19. #69
    Molecular Mixup
    blue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Last Online
    29-08-2017 @ 09:49 PM
    Location
    54N
    Posts
    11,353
    those professional bike races seem to last about 4 or 5 hours,
    have they got super strong bladders or have they mastered to art of pissing whilst riding ?

  20. #70
    Thailand Expat Dillinger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    21,393
    Here you go Blue


  • #71
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    18-07-2018 @ 02:03 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,449
    Quote Originally Posted by patsycat
    Do your workmates not, sort of, or sometimes mention your odor upon your arrival.
    I'm straight into the shower with my Lynx Africa body scrub/shampoo combo, Pats - no fucking about.

    Quote Originally Posted by blue
    have they got super strong bladders or have they mastered to art of pissing whilst riding ?
    They'll usually stop as early as possible while the race is still rolling along with no real urgency. Sometimes ditches will be used for dumping in. It's all a bit bladdy obsessive.

  • #72
    Thailand Expat
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    18,030
    Quote Originally Posted by Stinky View Post
    He prolly has a French wash when he gets there.
    I believe such technique is really referred to as an "English wash"....


  • #73
    Neo
    Neo is online now
    Dislocated Member
    Neo's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Last Online
    Today @ 12:03 PM
    Location
    Nebuchadnezzar
    Posts
    10,327
    Nice thread Slaps, familiar countryside to me. Have you been to Old Winchester Hill?
    It's in the Meon Valley on the South Downs route, it's an old hill fort, great views up there.
    A couple of miles up the road you can get a decent cuppa and some homemade cake at the Sustainability Centre.

    https://www.google.co.uk/maps/place/...d1f263e3?hl=en
    Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!"

  • #74
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    18-07-2018 @ 02:03 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,449
    130kms yesterday.

    I went numb at the 80k mark. Vision and hearing faded at around 100k. Will to live severely mitigated at 120. And when the whole blasted affair was finally over it took several minutes of rooting around to locate my left nut. I honestly thought I'd lost the fucker.

    Climbing 5000 feet through three different counties I implemented an efficient way of navigating - which doesn't involve GPS, or an iPhone or even a map. Simply write the names of the smallest settlements of the route chronologically and blast through the countryside hunting them down.



    The route was undulating - incorrigibly so...



    I stopped for a bit; ate a chocolate-coated flapjack, drank some Lucozade, and had a moment with the camera...



    Buttercups in the foreground.

    Cast your mind back to erstwhile school yard myths. If a buttercup was held to your chin and it glowed yellow - you, according to some implausible logic, liked butter.

    I have a more accurate barometer.

    If you're a fat kunt - you probably like butter.



    Post-ride sustenance doesn't get any better. Doner meat, chips and kebab shop salad, all garnished with a liberal drizzle of the sacred chilli sauce...

    Sublime.


  • #75
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    18-07-2018 @ 02:03 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,449
    Quote Originally Posted by Neo
    It's in the Meon Valley on the South Downs route
    Been through west meon a few times. Very beautiful, but beauty to fat people is sometimes overridden by meddlesome terrain.

  • Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

    Thread Information

    Users Browsing this Thread

    There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

    Posting Permissions

    • You may not post new threads
    • You may not post replies
    • You may not post attachments
    • You may not edit your posts
    •