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  1. #1
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Slap's three-day cycle tour of south England

    Day 1: Exeter - Weymouth (64.5 miles)

    Devon. It's just one big bastard hill. But then you always pay the cost for proximity to coastline and its incorrigible undulations - you are made to work so hard for the view that upon eventually cresting the ascent your vision is blurred and you've pissed your pants and the tremendous vista before you may as well be a public toilet in Sakhon Nakhon. This is why cameras are a good invention.

    Sidmouth, the outskirts of:



    After a Coke (cycling affords one the opportunity to go ballistic with the fizzy drinks) and a piece of cake from the bakery, the lowest gear was once again engaged and a spiteful climb out of town ensued.

    Still climbing: Devon rarely offers the opportunity for easy spinning...




    ...which isn't ideal when the night begins to set in, you have no lights on your bike, and another 30 miles to your B&B accommodations...



    Will continue presently...

  2. #2
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    Albert Shagnastier's Avatar
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    Beautiful place Devon.

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat klong toey's Avatar
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    Wind was Westerly yesterday thought there was a hint of beer chang sweat in the air.
    Nice pics keep peddling any plans to avoid flying in the future and cycle back to Thailand.

  4. #4
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    well done that man

    “Every time I see an adult on a bicycle I no longer despair for the future of the human race.” ~ H.G. Wells
    Last edited by barrylad66; 02-09-2014 at 02:03 PM. Reason: coz i an

  5. #5
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    Lovely and vivid pics, Slap....

    Hope more to come.


  6. #6
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    The only pragmatic way forward was to join an A road and shoot through to Weymouth lickety split - easy to write, ridiculously hard to do. But eventually the road began to level and I met the city with a raging appetite and a king's thirst for the frosty brew.

    The B&B was located on the seafront and was pretty reasonable for 70 pounds a night - although the bog did smell of shit upon the flush, and the wallpaper was peeling off the walls, and the shower leaked, and the people in the room next to mine smoked pot and watched the fucking tv all night - they are, in fact, extremely lucky I didn't pay them a visit with my bicycle pump for an impromptu spot of buggery.

    But the view was nice, and the sound of the waves breaking on the shale sent me into a pleasant slumber...



    ...yet that may have been something to do with a massive plate of loaded nachos and five pints of Kronenberg... 1664 no less...


  7. #7
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by barrylad66
    “Every time I see an adult on a bicycle I no longer despair for the future of the human race.” ~ H.G. Wells
    "Every time I see slapper on a bicycle I despair for the future of human grace". Mrs. Somtamslap.

  8. #8
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    ^

  9. #9
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    Nice thread, although I've got a feelin' that the bicycle is powered!

    Bet you've hidden a battery up your rectum.

  10. #10
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    never cycled down that way slap, but looking again at the pics the scenery looks just like the rides i used to do ( and will be doing again soon ) along the vale of glamorgan coastline, down to the gower coast.

  11. #11
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    Always interesting and entertaining Slapper. How much have you spent on petrol so far?

  12. #12
    Neo
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Day 1: 64.5 miles
    go on.. pull the other one.!

  13. #13
    PAG
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Day 1: Exeter - Weymouth (64.5 miles)

    Sidmouth, the outskirts of:

    .
    In the late 80's to mid 90's, I owned a village centre farmhouse in Otterton, midway between Sidmouth and Budleigh Salterton. Doubtful in the extreme that I'd ever return full time to the UK, however were I to do so, East Devon would be my choice.

  14. #14
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by PAG
    East Devon would be my choice.
    Shouldn't bother now slapper has steamrollered the place flat.

  15. #15
    PAG
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by PAG
    East Devon would be my choice.
    Shouldn't bother now slapper has steamrollered the place flat.
    Wasn't into cycling when I lived there, though I can empathise with his experiences, particularly between Newton Poppleford and Sidbury, and then up to the turn offs for Branscombe and Beer. The term 'rolling landscape' doesn't do it justice, and it's not until you get past Lyme Regis at the Dorset border that the inclines become (slightly) less severe.

  16. #16
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by barrylad66
    but looking again at the pics the scenery looks just like the rides i used to do
    I reckon the Fens are slightly more suited to my stature. Devon should come with a warning: "Fat cyclists will leave the county traumatised"

    Quote Originally Posted by Loy Toy
    How much have you spent on petrol so far?
    Purely pedal power, LT.



    Quote Originally Posted by Neo
    go on.. pull the other one
    Day two was longer...



    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke
    Shouldn't bother now slapper has steamrollered the place flat.
    I went too slow for steam-rollering, but there are a few large dents in Devon which weren'tr there prior to my visit.



    Quote Originally Posted by PAG
    The term 'rolling landscape' doesn't do it justice, and it's not until you get past Lyme Regis at the Dorset border that the inclines become (slightly) less severe.
    I'm so glad somebody has an understanding of the purgatorial terrain. The hill coming out of Sidmouth heading east was easily the steepest I've ever climbed.

  17. #17
    TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    Good stuff Slaps. Some bastard nicked my second bike this year, last week. I took the fukkin quick release saddle off it too. I mean, who would nick a bike without a seat ?

    I'm glad I never did buy one of those carbon fibre road bikes now. I bet they're great for getting up them hills though.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    I went too slow for steam-rollering, but there are a few large dents in Devon which weren'tr there prior to my visit.
    Going commando, heh, and your cock kept hitting the asphalt?

  19. #19
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
    withnallstoke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger
    who would nick a bike without a seat ?
    Butters?

  20. #20
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger
    I'm glad I never did buy one of those carbon fibre road bikes now. I bet they're great for getting up them hills though.
    I used a aluminium cyclo-cross bike which I thought would compliment the touring experience. But alas, I didn't factor in Devon being a fucking mountain range.

  21. #21
    ความสุขในอีสาน
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    Forgive me Somtum , having met you in person , all I can say is you are one of those people who fall into the category of proving you dont have to be slim jim to be fit.

    Praise indeed coming from someone with such a svelte frame as myself

    and if you believe that pile of old cak ,,,,,,
    I'm proud of my 38" waist , also proud I have never done drugs

  22. #22
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nigelandjan
    Forgive me Somtum , having met you in person , all I can say is you are one of those people who fall into the category of proving you dont have to be slim jim to be fit.
    And there was me sucking in my gut with all my might when we were chatting.

    Note to self: start wearing girdle.

  23. #23
    TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    Vertical stripes work for me

  24. #24
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger
    Vertical stripes work for me
    No they don't.

    You still looked fat in a Stoke shirt.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke
    You still looked fat in a Stoke basque and panties.
    Easy tiger...



    How many miles on day 2? I don't see any pics of day 2... Lastly, is there gonna be a short humourous book on cycling through Devon? Lastly lastly, if so, is your artistic sidekick hiding in your saddlebags?

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