Slap's three-day cycle tour of south England

**withnallstoke** · 03-09-2014, 06:31 AM

Originally Posted by Bettyboo

How many miles on day 2

None.

Slapper was "recouperating" in hospital.

**nigelandjan** · 03-09-2014, 12:56 PM

Wtf is that ^

**Albert Shagnastier** · 03-09-2014, 01:04 PM

^Fat bloke in ospital.

**withnallstoke** · 03-09-2014, 01:07 PM

Originally Posted by nigelandjan

Wtf is that ^

Originally Posted by Albert Shagnastier

Fat bloke in ospital

Slapper recouperating after bicycling, in hospital.

**somtamslap** · 03-09-2014, 01:17 PM

Slap's recuperation was done in the pub.

Day 2: Weymouth - Hythe; 68.5 miles

After a reasonable night's sleep, and a huge full English breakfast which remained on the belch until lunch time, a keen ascent out of Weymouth was traversed - at the brow of which I happened upon this here rustic etching, the Osmington Horse.

**somtamslap** · 03-09-2014, 01:22 PM

^ Pastoral pornography for withnall and betsy.

With the best part of 70 miles to cover today, and a pair of legs that no longer worked properly, I felt it wise to move on, post haste - but not before visiting Corfe Castle and taking a really bad picture...

**somtamslap** · 03-09-2014, 01:32 PM

By now the road had started to gloriously even out, and the average speed, which was just 12 mph the day before, had increased to a very respectable 15.

Here's Bramble Bush Bay, home of the chain ferry which connects Poole and Bournemouth.

In the foreground there are some foreign people fishing.

To the left there is a sign saying 'no fishing'.

Behind the camera is Mr. Slap, the vigilante - providing safe path for the folk of Dorset since last Tuesday. Photographic evidence I tells ya...

**somtamslap** · 03-09-2014, 01:36 PM

I thought about having lunch in the city but it was far too busy and the Bournemouth collective were thoroughly annoying me. Eventually, on the outskirts of the New Forest, I found this little tea room and demanded the finest fare available to mankind...

**somtamslap** · 03-09-2014, 01:37 PM

The place was fucking rockin'

**somtamslap** · 03-09-2014, 01:39 PM

And the mac and cheese provided a sufficient quota of carbs to continue on to Hyth...

**barrylad66** · 03-09-2014, 01:40 PM

slaps .im back in wales next week and i believe your now ready for some cycling around the s wales valleys ( the bwlch and the rhigos mountains) and perhaps the brecons as well...pm me

**somtamslap** · 03-09-2014, 01:43 PM

Originally Posted by barrylad66

slaps .im back in wales next week and i believe your now ready for some cycling around the s wales valleys ( the bwlch and the rhigos mountains) and perhaps the brecons as well...pm me

I'm up for that Bazzer...

**somtamslap** · 03-09-2014, 01:54 PM

I arrived at my B&B in Hythe and the proprietor went on to helpfully inform me of the eateries in the locale - there was only ever gonna be one winner:

This lamb balti provided fuel for some of the best flatulence I have ever parted with... an absolutely stunning display, both in terms of volume and odour...

**somtamslap** · 03-09-2014, 01:59 PM

The following morning I went for a stroll around Hythe, just as the sun was rising.

A view out to the Southampton docks...

**somtamslap** · 03-09-2014, 02:01 PM

I really liked Hythe. It was quiet, with an affable populace, and an abundance of places to fill yer fucking face. Including a kebab shop...

**somtamslap** · 03-09-2014, 02:03 PM

But in the meantime, it was back to the B&B for another full English...

**pseudolus** · 03-09-2014, 02:22 PM

Quality Full english that one - proper job. A plug for the B+B?

By thw way, you keep saying "I went" and "I arrived" and yet every meal there is 2 place settings and 2 meals. You on this road trip with some piece of Spare you are keeping on the hush hush, or are you actually eating 6-9 meals a day? (not judging by the way....)

**somtamslap** · 03-09-2014, 02:30 PM