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  1. #1
    Member bignote1's Avatar
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    The Top Simple Pleasures

    The UK National Tourist Board has listed the 25 most popular simple pleasures in the UK.
    1.Enjoying a fish supper on Blackpool Pier.
    2.Afternoon tea in Devon
    3.Picnicking on the shores of Windemere, Lake District.
    4.Rock-pooling in Treyamon bay, Cornwall.
    5.Camping in the New Forest.
    6.Marvelling at Stonehenge.
    7.Getting lost in the maze at Hampton Court Palace, London.
    8.Taking a stroll beside Hadrian's Wall
    9.A boating day out on the Norfolk Broads.
    10.Watching Puffins on the Farne Islands, Northumberland.
    11.Stargazing on Exmoor.
    12.Taking in a vista in the Peak District.
    13.Trying to make the Queen's Guard laugh at Buckingham Palace.
    14.Watching the changing of the guard at Windsor Castle.
    15.Fossil-hunting on Brook Beach Isle of Wight
    16.Exploring the White Cliffs of Dover.
    17.Playing Pooh Sticks at Hundred Acre Wood, Sussex.
    18Rolling down the hills around Corfe Castle, Dorset.
    19.Visiting a honey farm in Devon.
    20.Skimming stones at Holy Island, Lindisfarne.
    21.Picking blackberries on Box Hill, surrey.
    22.Riding a narrow boat through Birmingham's canals.
    23.Taking in Chatsworth House from the park.
    24.Seeking out the deer at Richmond Park, London.
    25.Admiring Bamburgh Castle from the beach, Northumberland.

    My Contribution
    26.Watching Wales play England at the Millenium Stadium or Twickenham and win loose or draw the party after the game.

    Please add to the list!

  2. #2
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    Albert Shagnastier's Avatar
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    There's a huge gap in that list.

    It's called pussy

  3. #3
    Member bignote1's Avatar
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    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by Albert Shagnastier View Post
    There's a huge gap in that list.

    It's called pussy
    Yes! Stroking a cat can be very enjoyable!

  4. #4
    Member cdnski12's Avatar
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    Forgot a round of Golf in LOS on Christmas Day. Rock Pooling indeed.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by bignote1
    Yes! Stroking a cat can be very enjoyable!
    Sticking things up them is even better

  6. #6
    The Pikey Hunter
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    Top pleasures for simpletons they mean, right?

    Quote Originally Posted by bignote1 View Post
    The UK National Tourist Board has listed the 25 most popular simple pleasures in the UK.
    1.Enjoying a fish supper on Blackpool Pier. - Can't beat a nice cod and chips, but surrounded by northerners? Nope. Fuck off.
    2.Afternoon tea in Devon - Acceptable.
    3.Picnicking on the shores of Windemere, Lake District. - Fucking caravaning.
    4.Rock-pooling in Treyamon bay, Cornwall. - Window lickers favourite.
    5.Camping in the New Forest. - More pikey type activity.
    6.Marvelling at Stonehenge. - Window lickers favourite.
    7.Getting lost in the maze at Hampton Court Palace, London. - Window lickers favourite.
    8.Taking a stroll beside Hadrian's Wall. Why? Fucking thing needs rebuilding to keep the sweaties out.
    9.A boating day out on the Norfolk Broads. - Popular with inbreeders (NFN = 'Normal for Norfolk' in doctors records)
    10.Watching Puffins on the Farne Islands, Northumberland. - Ok I guess. For 5 minutes.
    11.Stargazing on Exmoor. - Get wasted on Exmoor and falling asleep under the stars.
    12.Taking in a vista in the Peak District. - Buy a fucking postcard.
    13.Trying to make the Queen's Guard laugh at Buckingham Palace. - Window lickers favourite.
    14.Watching the changing of the guard at Windsor Castle. - Window lickers favourite.
    15.Fossil-hunting on Brook Beach Isle of Wight - Window lickers favourite.
    16.Exploring the White Cliffs of Dover. - Full of bloody tourists.
    17.Playing Pooh Sticks at Hundred Acre Wood, Sussex. - Full of Japs. Push a few of them off the bridge and see which one floats out first.
    18Rolling down the hills around Corfe Castle, Dorset. - Window lickers favourite.
    19.Visiting a honey farm in Devon. - Uhm.... no. masochists only.
    20.Skimming stones at Holy Island, Lindisfarne. - ????
    21.Picking blackberries on Box Hill, surrey. - Pikey like actifity
    22.Riding a narrow boat through Birmingham's canals. - Pikeying on the water instead of in a caravan.
    23.Taking in Chatsworth House from the park. - Yawn
    24.Seeking out the deer at Richmond Park, London. - Best to do this in mating season. They love it.
    25.Admiring Bamburgh Castle from the beach, Northumberland. - Where?

    My Contribution
    26.Watching Wales play England at the Millenium Stadium or Twickenham and win loose or draw the party after the game.

    Please add to the list!

  7. #7
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    Sounds like bollocks to me, I'm waiting for slappers take on this

  8. #8
    Member bignote1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by beerlaodrinker View Post
    Sounds like bollocks to me, I'm waiting for slappers take on this
    He speaks for you does he?

  9. #9
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    Having a dump after 4 days of being bound up.

  10. #10
    Member bignote1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gerbil View Post
    Top pleasures for simpletons they mean, right?

    Quote Originally Posted by bignote1 View Post
    The UK National Tourist Board has listed the 25 most popular simple pleasures in the UK.
    1.Enjoying a fish supper on Blackpool Pier. - Can't beat a nice cod and chips, but surrounded by northerners? Nope. Fuck off.
    2.Afternoon tea in Devon - Acceptable.
    3.Picnicking on the shores of Windemere, Lake District. - Fucking caravaning.
    4.Rock-pooling in Treyamon bay, Cornwall. - Window lickers favourite.
    5.Camping in the New Forest. - More pikey type activity.
    6.Marvelling at Stonehenge. - Window lickers favourite.
    7.Getting lost in the maze at Hampton Court Palace, London. - Window lickers favourite.
    8.Taking a stroll beside Hadrian's Wall. Why? Fucking thing needs rebuilding to keep the sweaties out.
    9.A boating day out on the Norfolk Broads. - Popular with inbreeders (NFN = 'Normal for Norfolk' in doctors records)
    10.Watching Puffins on the Farne Islands, Northumberland. - Ok I guess. For 5 minutes.
    11.Stargazing on Exmoor. - Get wasted on Exmoor and falling asleep under the stars.
    12.Taking in a vista in the Peak District. - Buy a fucking postcard.
    13.Trying to make the Queen's Guard laugh at Buckingham Palace. - Window lickers favourite.
    14.Watching the changing of the guard at Windsor Castle. - Window lickers favourite.
    15.Fossil-hunting on Brook Beach Isle of Wight - Window lickers favourite.
    16.Exploring the White Cliffs of Dover. - Full of bloody tourists.
    17.Playing Pooh Sticks at Hundred Acre Wood, Sussex. - Full of Japs. Push a few of them off the bridge and see which one floats out first.
    18Rolling down the hills around Corfe Castle, Dorset. - Window lickers favourite.
    19.Visiting a honey farm in Devon. - Uhm.... no. masochists only.
    20.Skimming stones at Holy Island, Lindisfarne. - ????
    21.Picking blackberries on Box Hill, surrey. - Pikey like actifity
    22.Riding a narrow boat through Birmingham's canals. - Pikeying on the water instead of in a caravan.
    23.Taking in Chatsworth House from the park. - Yawn
    24.Seeking out the deer at Richmond Park, London. - Best to do this in mating season. They love it.
    25.Admiring Bamburgh Castle from the beach, Northumberland. - Where?

    My Contribution
    26.Watching Wales play England at the Millenium Stadium or Twickenham and win loose or draw the party after the game.

    Please add to the list!
    Well we know what you don't like, and that's fine, but it's very negative.
    So tell us what are your simple pleasures apart from criticizing other people's enjoyment.

  11. #11
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    Driving a bike over the Cairn 'o Mount road, Royal Deeside.

  12. #12
    Member bignote1's Avatar
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    Finding a 10 note in the pocket of a coat you haven't worn for ages.

  13. #13
    Molecular Mixup
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    Taking a close look the 25 simple pleasures given, I cannot help noticing they all have one thing in common:
    getting as far away from Britain's immigrant scum as possible .

  14. #14
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    Wait for it...

  15. #15
    Pedantic bastard
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    Ok. Lets play. Some of those are pretty ok - some naff. What do we propose instead. based on the few things I miss, the number one simple pleasure 9for me) would be:


    Couple of pints of decent beer with your mates outside a village pub on one of those summer nights that seemed to go on forever.....

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by bignote1
    Finding a 10 note in the pocket of a coat you haven't worn for ages.
    Yeah that's brilliant. It's like Free Money! In actual fact its value it 20 quid. You have already written off the tenner, so your books are down 10 quid, and in finding it again, you write off that loss and have a tenner to spend. A jump in wealth of 20 quid. My logic is infallible, as usual. I found 1000 HKD note in an old wallet I had a few months ago - it was tucked up below in the cards section for some strange reason. What a result.
    Originally Posted by bsnub "No wonder I drive a tesla"

  17. #17
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    Ah but only if you actually lost it. You can't be down 10 if you simply forgot about it.

    Still good though.

    One time as a young lad I was closing my bedroom curtains and accidentally knocked the upright paper stack out of the printer, revealing 400 behind it.

    Now that was a boost. No Idea how long it had been there.
    Lang may yer lum reek...

  18. #18
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    A simple pleasure i miss from England.

    Sitting with the neighbours gnomes and dangling my knob in his carp pond.

  19. #19
    TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    Is this you, back in the day Withnall ?

    Boy is given a blowjob by a fish!!!

  20. #20
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    -Being a peeping tom as young sodomites embrace in Old Compton Street
    -Morris dancing
    -The Helston Floral Dance
    -Cheese rolling in Gloucestershire
    -Architecture of the German bunkers in the Channel Islands
    -Scent of the Northern Line
    -Kendo Nagasaki

  21. #21
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    All I can say is; thank fuck they discovered the colonies, so people with a bit of drive and imagination could get away from such boring, mindless nonsense and actually do things.....

  22. #22
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by koman
    so people with a bit of drive and imagination could get away from such boring, mindless nonsense and actually do things
    Never tried knob dangling then?

  23. #23
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    Can we change the title to 25 geriatric ward outings in England?

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirk diggler View Post
    Can we change the title to 25 geriatric ward outings in England?
    Actual they are the 25 choices for Women's Institute bus trips. 26th being a Mystery Tour.

  25. #25
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    A solid turd that snaps off cleanly and disappears with a satisfying sploosh.

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