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  1. #1
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Slap's eater bank holiday weekend

    Easter Sunday marks the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

    A day during which subscribers of the Christian faith celebrate the rebirth of the saviour by taking advantage of Sainsburys' 3 for the price of 2 deal on Easter eggs.

    Easter eggs.

    Rack my brain as I may, I still fail to see any correlation between the messiah's second coming and price reductions on Cadbury's cream eggs - no matter how magnificently delicious they are. I'm simply not convinced that JC, regardless of the dubious authenticity of his erstwhile meanderings, was revived so that we might eat lots of fucking chocolate of a late April.

    Personally I'd venture that the sentiment would be displayed with far greater affinity if we were to meekly nibble at a humble holy communion platter.

    I was thinking along the lines of a large kebab, breaded mushrooms, salad, chips, and 3 litres of vino di tavola rosso.

    The easter egg hunt has been cancelled.


  2. #2
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    We went for the loaves and fishes miracle today.

    Waitrose kippers and wholemeal bread. (Courtesy of Tops Surat).

  3. #3
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chassamui
    Waitrose kippers
    Waitrose goods in Surat? Has the world gone mad?

  4. #4
    En route
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    And where do the rabbits fit in and how are they associated with the chocolate eggs?
    Shouldn't it be the easter chicken?

  5. #5
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    That kebab looks special. Bastard.

  6. #6
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    Fuck chocolate eggs - that's the bollocks.

  7. #7
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly
    That kebab looks special.
    Until that too gets resurrected in the morning.

  8. #8
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    What's that set you back these days Slap?

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    Waitrose goods in Surat? Has the world gone mad?
    Apparently, yes. One is a subsidiary of the other.

    Bought Waitrose Cumberland Sausages last time I was in there, plus Bourbons and Custard creams.

  10. #10
    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    Easter eggs.
    gonads , they represent the holy ones eggs

    as the faithful gazed up at the nutter impaled on the wooden thing their gaze was fixatedon two lumps writhing in a stretched hairy sac revealed to them under his laplap .

    thus as you nibble on the chocolate eggs you should be remebering they are the effigies of the gonads of christ

    tiberius just took it a step too far

  11. #11
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by Koojo
    And where do the rabbits fit in and how are they associated with the chocolate eggs? Shouldn't it be the easter chicken?
    Ties in withstart of spring. Although here I sit to a soundtrack of drizzle against the window.



    Quote Originally Posted by Albert Shagnastier
    What's that set you back these days Slap?
    Got that lot delivered. 10 pound minimum spend if you don't want to get off your backside. 11.50 all in.

  12. #12
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke
    Until that too gets resurrected in the morning.
    I was parting with some mental flatulence this morning. Authoritarian, boisterous blasts of Turkish delight.

    Quote Originally Posted by baldrick
    thus as you nibble on the chocolate eggs you should be remebering they are the effigies of the gonads of christ
    Even the extra large Crunchies? Crumbs!

  13. #13
    TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    spent my Eater Sunday listening to my Dad resurrect his bell end, after a ping pong show involving a hamster, budgie and smoking pussy.

    had worse Easters


  14. #14
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    ^ Good to hear the old man's getting his balls licked.

    What's the chap to the right of the tree doing? Is he masturbating?

  15. #15
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    ^^Good work.

  16. #16
    TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    What's the chap to the right of the tree doing? Is he masturbating?
    if you mean the top right of the tree, then you've spotted the dirty old bstard pretty sure his eggs were replenshing at that point.

  17. #17
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger
    if you mean the top right of the tree, then you've spotted the dirty old bstard
    Marvellous!

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Koojo View Post
    And how do the rabbits fit in and how are they associated with the chocolate eggs?
    Shouldn't it be the easter chicken?


    I think the better endowed of the bunny world use some sort of natural lubricant

  19. #19
    splendid and tremendous
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    Well that was nice while it lasted.

    Back into the fray...

    Bloody England. Bloody work.

  20. #20
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Saint Helena?

  21. #21
    TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    Yes, Patong, St Helena

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by baldrick View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    Easter eggs.
    gonads , they represent the holy ones eggs

    as the faithful gazed up at the nutter impaled on the wooden thing their gaze was fixatedon two lumps writhing in a stretched hairy sac revealed to them under his laplap .

    thus as you nibble on the chocolate eggs you should be remebering they are the effigies of the gonads of christ

    tiberius just took it a step too far
    ....and I have some Arizona ocean front property that has a future.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Koojo View Post
    And where do the rabbits fit in and how are they associated with the chocolate eggs?
    Shouldn't it be the easter chicken?
    Look up 'Ishter' if genuinely interested........or not

  24. #24
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    The "snack" must have made you thirsty?

  25. #25
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    or not

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