I like commuting to work here in the U.K about as much as I like exchanging pleasantries with my mother in-law. Both unavoidable evils elicit pangs of fear and revulsion, with a healthy smattering of misery to boot - the latter probably trumping the former in terms of detrimental aspects. Upon the cessation of any given conversation with 'mare', I will invariably walk away, head bowed, in search of a friendly juggernaut to step in front of. To look into the eyes of that women is to look into the very soul of the devil. I'll put it this way, she married Por. She actually made what she thought to be a healthy and informed decision to exchange nuptials with quite possibly the most repugnant human specimen ever spawned. Having said that, I'm not entirely convinced that Por is of homo sapien descent, rather a mish mash of aborted scientific experiments. At present the distance between us may very well span 2 continents, but I can still smell the old fucker on my clothing, that endearing bouquet of Thai tobacco, lau khao and stale piss.
But enough of my dysfunctional Siamese affiliates, and onto my most recent first world gripe.
I saw a news item on the BBC a few days ago during which the minister of transport, in a bid to engage the prospective electorate, announced a series of plans to revamp the British rail infrastructure. This proposal included building more platforms onto the busier stations and introducing a more frequent service amid rush hour or 'peak times' as they so innocuously put it. And we, the tireless travellers, would reap the dividends in no less than eight years.
Eight years? I have to wait a further eight fucking years before I'm afforded the gratuity of being able to sit down on a fucking train?
No, sir! I think not.
I have therefore taken it upon myself to implement a system which guarantees me a seat on both the morning and evening legs of the trip.
I call it 'sitting in first class instead'
Where my commute home once looked like this...
Now looks like this...
Pick the bones out of that, Cameron...