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  1. #1
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    I see a little silhouetto of a man...

    Mr. Slap, Mr. Slap, why the hell are you in England
    Extortionate pricing - very very frightening me
    Skies are grayo
    Skies are grayo
    Skies are grayo - signs of snow

    I'm just a poor boy living in Croydon
    He's just another Brit slumming in a bedsit
    Spare him this life of taxation and turmoil

    Household questionnaires, great big fucking train fares - will you let me go
    Bismillah! No-,we will not let you go-let him go-
    Bismillah! We will not let you go-let him go
    Bismillah! We will not let you go-let me go
    Will not let you go-let me go
    Will not let you go let me go
    No,no,no,no,no,no,no-

    Erm, actually I think you'll find you will...

  2. #2
    loob lor geezer
    Bangyai's Avatar
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    In Thailand that would be :

    I see a little man, wearing some stilettoes ,
    What a mush , what a mush , where did the farang go ?
    etc etc

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat klong toey's Avatar
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    See the medication has worn of Mr Slap.
    Welcome back to Blighty,watch out for the wild trams.
    We have a spare room but live down south,as in about a 30 train ride away.
    Purley.

  4. #4
    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
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    lucky you did not end up scattered about the southern indian ocean

  5. #5
    Can I still change this?
    Bogon's Avatar
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    Nothing really mattters
    No, nothing really matters
    To Slap
    Every way the Witherpoons is open
    *Sounds of Freddie on the piano* dung dung da dung dung


  6. #6
    Can I still change this?
    Bogon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by klong toey
    We have a spare room but live down south,as in about a 30 train ride away.
    ..or 24 cans of Stella in Somtams currency of choice.

  7. #7
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bangyai
    In Thailand that would be :
    I would be sitting in my local shops conversing in the internationally recognised language of drunken bollocks.

    *sigh*


    Quote Originally Posted by klong toey
    See the medication has worn of Mr Slap.
    Just. I was very unconscious indeed for the duration.


    Quote Originally Posted by baldrick
    lucky you did not end up scattered about the southern indian ocean
    I'm most grateful that this didn't transpire.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bogon
    Everyway the Witherpoons is open
    Have you been spying on me, Bogie?

    I went berserk with a Directors barrel last night.

  8. #8
    Banned

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    Sweet Loretta Fat, she thought she was a cleaner, but she was a frying pan.

    Get Back to where you once belong, Slap.

  9. #9
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rural Surin
    Get Back to where you once belong, Slap.
    I certainly intend to. At present, however, needs must.

  10. #10
    Molecular Mixup
    blue's Avatar
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    welcome back


  11. #11
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    Is now the time where the headbanging started in the Mike Myer's video??? Da Da Da, Da

  12. #12
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blue View Post
    welcome back

    Couldn't have put it better myself.

  13. #13
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Breny
    Is now the time where the headbanging started
    No, sir - negative. Now is the time I go to Morrisons and relieve them of six strong lagers.

  14. #14
    Thailand Expat
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    Relieve them? Unless you is stuffing them down your pants chav style you'll be parting with hard earned currency for them.

  15. #15
    Thailand Expat
    fishlocker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blue View Post
    welcome back

    I want to ride my bycycle. I want to ride my bike.....I want to ride it where I like.

  16. #16
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly
    Unless you is stuffing them down your pants chav style you'll be parting with hard earned currency for them.
    Six 275 ml bottles of Becks - 5 quid. Combined they had the effect of one beer Chang. Very disappointing.

  17. #17
    Lord of Swine
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    You need to agitate for the opening of a franchise near you.....

    "Plans to open a chain of discount pubs selling beer for just 1 have sparked a furious reaction from drink awareness campaigners.

    The first of the 'PoundPubs' has already opened in Manchester, bringing customers 'more round for your pound'.

    A second is about to open in Stockton on Tees, with an application for a special licence to sell beer from 8am."



    PoundPubs: Fury over plans to open a chain of discount pubs selling beer for just 1 - Mirror Online
    Follow us: @DailyMirror on Twitter | DailyMirror on Facebook

  18. #18
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    Hurrah for the Pound Pub initiative. At my local it's 3.20 for a pint of Black Sheep bitter to 3.60 for a pint of "real ale" Even popping out for a swift half can be bloody expensive.

    Since I got back I've noticed the sustained discount war at the petrol pumps and the supermarkets where even the likes of Tesco, Morrisons, Iceland and Asda have had to cut prices ruthlessly in order to compete with the likes of the German outlet Aldi.

    It's about time beer was reviewed in the same manner.

  19. #19
    Thailand Expat
    bobo746's Avatar
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    You are the champion my friend.

  20. #20
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    Poor Porrrr, Just let one rip
    Put his bum against my face
    oh the smell, oh god, the taste

    Porrrr my life had just begun
    But now you've gone and blown my eyebrows offffff.....

    Pooorrrrrrrrr eewwwww ahhhh
    It wasn't me who necked you beer
    I sometimes wish I never bought it for you
    Fark offff, farkkk offf
    You decrepit little fooker.


    ....anyway the wind blows.....

  21. #21
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    You need to agitate for the opening of a franchise near you.....
    A Mc99s? I'm liking the sound of that. Although, 'operation: spend no money for fucking ages' has just commenced so it may be superfluous.

  22. #22
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    Grafenwalder pilsner from Lidl 0.85 per can is a nice tipple. Just supping on one now.

  23. #23
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    Just got back from GHQ. Three pints of St Albans Red Squirrel at 3.20 each, plus a large shot of Wild Turkey Honey, long glass, ice and a splash of coke. Heaven!

  24. #24
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Pilsner Urquell on special at Morrisons. Morrisons is probably my favourite place in Europe. Even had breakfast there this morning.

  25. #25
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MANICHAEAN
    Three pints of St Albans Red Squirrel at 3.20 each, plus a large shot of Wild Turkey Honey, long glass, ice and a splash of coke. Heaven!
    That's probably a perfect level of intoxication.

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