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  1. #1
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Slap's guide to international lavatory behaviour





    Ye Old British Defecation Decorum
    1. Employ several sheets of 3-ply toilet tissue to conduct, what should be due to sanitised kitchen conditions, a minimal mop-up

    2. Utilise the Smart Sensor System in order to expel the offending dietary residue. A flush unhindered by other people’s 10-year-old piss, shit, semen and sick can be effortlessly executed

    3. If the previous evening’s fare comprised a large doner kebab and 15 pints of ale, make use of the provided toilet brush in empathy of the next visitor

    4. Exit the cubical and attend the abundance of pristine basins for a thorough application of soap courtesy of the sterilised dispenser

    5. With either the paper hand towels or compressed air furnishing, dry your hands to complete a textbook trip to the bathroom




    Asian Restroom Etiquette

    Shit all over the fucking place. Wipe your arse with your hand. Fiddle with your hair in the mirror for half an hour. Fuck off back to your bowl of boiled rice



  2. #2
    Lord of Swine
    Necron99's Avatar
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    indian toilet behavior.

    What is being (fucking annoying head wobbling) this toilet you are speaking to of..

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat klong toey's Avatar
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    I love those country toilets but in the city of Bangkok we have Terminal 21 powered by Toto,not the dog the Japanese toilet company.Video a bit naff but you get the idea.



  • #4
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    indian toilet behavior.
    Looks alright.

    "Would you like your good bottom wiping, sir?"


  • #5
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by klong toey
    I love those country toilets but in the city of Bangkok we have Terminal 21 powered by Toto,not the dog the Japanese toilet company.
    I want one. Yesterday.

  • #6
    Look!!..... a train!!
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    I say the one thing keeping western toilet cleanliness in the dark ages is the lack of bum sprays.

    Dry toilet paper wiping shit into your skin. Disgusting. Luckily in my place I've adapted a shower system with warm water. I save on toilet paper and showers, because I know my arse is always pristine.

  • #7
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat
    I say the one thing keeping western toilet cleanliness in the dark ages is the lack of bum sprays.
    I say you're right. A good arse gun is better than any bog roll in the world.

  • #8
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    It is annoying here when places do not have a bum gun, or better still, and Japanese autotoilet2000. You get used to such things and then suddenly the cretins at Central think that the locals can get by without one. Daft fools.

  • #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Necron99
    indian toilet behavior.
    Looks alright.

    "Would you like your good bottom wiping, sir?"

    Betchya get a thrill outta that...
    Complete strangers too.

  • #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat View Post
    I say the one thing keeping western toilet cleanliness in the dark ages is the lack of bum sprays.

    Dry toilet paper wiping shit into your skin. Disgusting. Luckily in my place I've adapted a shower system with warm water. I save on toilet paper and showers, because I know my arse is always pristine.
    I agree but you should see the attitude of people in the UK and in London do your best to avoid public toilets unless they have an attendant although non-attended ones are not so common these days.

  • #11
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    I say you're right. A good arse gun is better than any bog roll in the world.
    Would save on chopping down trees but then Andrex wouldn't make a profit.

  • #12
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat View Post
    I say the one thing keeping western toilet cleanliness in the dark ages is the lack of bum sprays.

    Dry toilet paper wiping shit into your skin. Disgusting. Luckily in my place I've adapted a shower system with warm water. I save on toilet paper and showers, because I know my arse is always pristine.
    Its all down to efficient crimpage after stool egress.
    An anus encumbered with warts, hairs and haemmorrhoids under the control of someone with poor or lazy muscle function will result in poor crimpage and the spreading around of fecal matter.

    A good diet also helps to produce a healthy well formed stool that is easily crimped by the anal musculature.

    Failing all else, this device might be useful, as can be seen from the before and after photos of the users face. see the second post on this webpage.
    http://www.utdforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69512

  • #13
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ronin View Post
    I say you're right. A good arse gun is better than any bog roll in the world.
    Would save on chopping down trees but then Andrex wouldn't make a profit.
    Probably best to invest in the water company at that point

  • #14
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    somtamslap's Avatar
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    ......

  • #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by taxexile
    Its all down to efficient crimpage after stool egress.
    And efficient bog roll crumpling.

  • #16
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    ^ Izal... Also known to Gupta as, brand 'John Wayne' because it takes no shit off Indians!
    Last edited by charleyboy; 06-10-2013 at 08:55 AM.

  • #17
    Look!!..... a train!!
    DJ Pat's Avatar
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    When I crapped at the Emporium toilets where they had no bum guns (so the 'hi-so' shoppers could feel 'inter' I suppose) so had to take a bottle of water in with me so I could at least wet wipe.

  • #18
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    It's always a wet wipe when you've got the shits

  • #19
    ความสุขในอีสาน
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    Quote Originally Posted by taxexile
    Its all down to efficient crimpage after stool egress.
    An anus encumbered with warts, hairs and haemmorrhoids under the control of someone with poor or lazy muscle function will result in poor crimpage and the spreading around of fecal matter.

    I would suggest a nice roll of this stored in the fridge overnight to help crimp up the old sphincter .





  • #20
    ความสุขในอีสาน
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    Our guest rooms en-suite



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