Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 42
  1. #1
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    10-12-2017 @ 08:35 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,362

    The Hangover Respite Pack

    As far as hangovers go, the one I'm currently enduring reads 10 on the twat scale.

    The usual stages have been suffered.

    1. Wake up - check you aren't dead

    2. After ascertaining your 'alive' status, inspect your environment.

    3. Stagger into the bathroom for a piss

    4. Scrutinize the wounded image in the mirror

    5. You appear to have spent a considerable amount of time french kissing a kebab

    6. Gag, not once, not twice, but thrice

    7. Contemplate crying

    8. Contemplate wanking

    9. Have a wank whilst crying

    10. Shake your way to the local shops, and buy....

    .........The Hangover Respite Pack



    1 x newspaper

    1 x pepperami

    4 x pints of strong Belgian lager

    Remote control not included.

  2. #2
    Sprayed On Member
    The Fresh Prince's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Not in the willage
    Posts
    11,684
    If you can't wank your hangover away then its a bad one.

  3. #3
    Special member
    jizzybloke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    7,868
    That's what happens when you drink with reprobates!!

    Ricky....

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat
    Smug Farang Bore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Last Online
    05-11-2017 @ 07:54 PM
    Posts
    3,862
    ^ERRR.....?

  5. #5
    Special member
    jizzybloke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    7,868
    Exactly....

  6. #6
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    10-12-2017 @ 08:35 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,362
    Quote Originally Posted by jizzybloke
    That's what happens when you drink with reprobates!!
    El vino did flow....

    And the Smugster's back on it....today!

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat Dillinger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    18,655
    Slap, slap, slap. you are missing out man.

    Put the bicycle clips back on and return to that shop and buy some flaming hot Monster Munch right now. Pronto. It's a match made in heaven. trust me.




  8. #8
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    10-12-2017 @ 08:35 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,362
    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger
    Put the bicycle clips back on and return to that shop
    The first trip took every ounce of physical and mental power I could muster. I'm still feeling incredibly sorry for myself.

  9. #9
    Thailand Expat Dillinger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    18,655
    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    7. Contemplate crying

    8. Contemplate wanking

    9. Have a wank whilst crying

    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    I'm still feeling incredibly sorry for myself.
    how many wanks have you had today ?

    Is the watery stuff comin out yet ?

  10. #10
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
    withnallstoke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Last Online
    07-12-2017 @ 09:48 AM
    Location
    The Felcher Memorial Home.
    Posts
    14,247
    I still can't believe how gay slapper has become since returning to London.

    Butt then again.

  11. #11
    Banned

    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Last Online
    03-06-2014 @ 09:01 PM
    Posts
    27,552
    Bladdy Drunkards....

  12. #12
    Thailand Expat
    Smug Farang Bore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Last Online
    05-11-2017 @ 07:54 PM
    Posts
    3,862
    ^^i can pm you the photos of him and sunsetter lol..

  13. #13
    En route
    Cujo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Last Online
    Today @ 02:47 PM
    Location
    Reality.
    Posts
    25,938
    I've learned to skip stage 4.
    As far as the mystery meat tube goes, haven't you seen the famous hangover butty thread?

  14. #14
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    10-12-2017 @ 08:35 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,362
    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger
    how many wanks have you had today ?
    It was quite embarrassing earlier actually. I'd just teed-up some super-duper hardcore action, pressed the mute button and lowered the underpants, when a blasted pop up opened another window which immediately cut to the noisiest fucking women on the planet getting the living daylights smashed out of her ring piece. This normally wouldn't be a problem but my landlady was in the other room enjoying her morning cuppa, and I just couldn't turn down the fucking volume. In the end I had to put my finger in the computer's off button until the fucking noise stopped.


    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke
    I still can't believe how gay slapper has become since returning to London.
    It was like one of the Ching sessions of old..except without the Chang.

  15. #15
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
    withnallstoke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Last Online
    07-12-2017 @ 09:48 AM
    Location
    The Felcher Memorial Home.
    Posts
    14,247
    Quote Originally Posted by Smug Farang Bore
    i can pm you the photos of him and sunsetter lol
    Is that why his bum hurts??

  16. #16
    En route
    Cujo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Last Online
    Today @ 02:47 PM
    Location
    Reality.
    Posts
    25,938
    Quote Originally Posted by Smug Farang Bore View Post
    ^^i can pm you the photos of him and sunsetter lol..
    Fuck that, post them on the thread.

  17. #17
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    10-12-2017 @ 08:35 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,362
    Quote Originally Posted by Koojo
    As far as the mystery meat tube goes, haven't you seen the famous hangover butty thread?
    Best thread ever..


    Quote Originally Posted by Koojo
    Fuck that, post them on the thread.
    I'll do another thread later. Too fucked to tell the tale today..

  18. #18
    Thailand Expat
    Smug Farang Bore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Last Online
    05-11-2017 @ 07:54 PM
    Posts
    3,862
    To embarrassing.

    As we spent the afternoon in one of Croydons best care in the community public houses.

    Witherspoons helping the wayward and needy since 1927.

  19. #19
    Special member
    jizzybloke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    7,868
    Quote Originally Posted by Smug Farang Bore View Post
    ^^i can pm you the photos of him and sunsetter lol..

    Good are they??

  20. #20
    Thailand Expat
    Smug Farang Bore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Last Online
    05-11-2017 @ 07:54 PM
    Posts
    3,862
    ...then off to gorge on the best fine dining Croydon KFC can offer.

  21. #21
    Thailand Expat
    Smug Farang Bore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Last Online
    05-11-2017 @ 07:54 PM
    Posts
    3,862
    Jizz I'll show you in BKK in a few days...

  22. #22
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    10-12-2017 @ 08:35 PM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,362
    Quote Originally Posted by Smug Farang Bore
    ...then off to gorge on the best fine dining Croydon KFC can offer
    I asked Ahmed how often he got back to Istanbul last night. There's definitely the makings of a rich and fulfilling relationship between us. I also asked the taxi driver how often he got back to Islamabad. He didn't really care for that line of questioning apparently.

  23. #23
    ความสุขในอีสาน
    nigelandjan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Frinton on sea and Ban Pak
    Posts
    12,820
    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger
    Is the watery stuff comin out yet ?
    Give it up mate ! It,s taken me all day to muster up eating my first oyster ,, I,m gonna have to spit this out now

  24. #24
    Thailand Expat
    chassamui's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Bali
    Posts
    11,684
    In blighty, lucozade is the top anti gag.

  25. #25
    Thailand Expat
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    60,022
    Lightweight, any twat that can get out of bed and move, let alone cycle to the shops does not have a hangover.

    fetal position on the bed/floor for 10 hours, now that;s a hangover!

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •