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UK Travel Forum Your Travels in England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland and the few other odd little Islands that Great Britain are left with.

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Old 04-08-2013, 05:56 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Turkish Delight: A Culinary Romance

Salad. Onion. Sir?

Without doubt the best trio of words in the Turkish language. Although they are invariably half-heatedly uttered by an abundantly bewhiskered, grease-ridden gentleman with a chilli sauce flecked apron, they still hold a beauty which you'd be hard pressed to find elsewhere.

Even Gupta, the stalwart pillar of Indian dining establishments, is unable to evoke such voracity with his trademark 'Poppadoms, sir?' introductory patter.

And Su-Young, the purveyor of all fare Chinese, barely rouses interest with her hard-nosed 'You wan egg fwy wice? pitch.

Then of course we have Mario who, in this day and age, is customarily of Pakistani descent, with his 'is you wanting sausage-stuffed crust, bruv, is it, innit?' grammatically butchered banter.

Or perhaps Pauline with her chip shop 'salt and fackin' vinegar, love?' chit chat.

Nope. Nobody does it better than Ahmed. In fact, Carly Simon once wrote a song about him, and the lubricated fucker's true to every last note.

To cut a long story short, I went on a bike ride yesterday. A 60-mile bike ride. It was a harrowing, four-letter word inducing affair, but nonetheless it was completed and for a few glorious minutes I basked in the satisfaction of a job well done. But when the fading traces of endorphins eventually subsided, I felt a huge void sweep over me. Something was missing. The day was yet to be concluded.

It suddenly occurred to me that the void was where loads and loads of calories used to be, so without further ado I made haste to, first of all, the cornershop where I bought four cans of Kronenbourg 1664 (C'est magnifique!), and then onto Ahmed's place of business, which in this instance went by The Istanbul Grill.

"One large doner, please Ahmed"

"Salad onion, sir?"

"I fucking love you, Ahmed, and I want to have your babies"

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Old 04-08-2013, 06:02 PM   #2 (permalink)
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they say a pic is worth a thousand words ..........

with Slap you get both .

Thanxs for the smile
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Old 04-08-2013, 06:15 PM   #3 (permalink)
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^^ wat he said !!!
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Old 04-08-2013, 06:20 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Yum!!!
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Old 04-08-2013, 06:27 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Where's the bread ?
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Old 04-08-2013, 06:37 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dillinger
Where's the bread ?
Under the five kilos of meat and salad. Ahmed doesn't scrimp when you bat your eyelids.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mid
they say a pic is worth a thousand words ..........
This picture was actually the start of a wrong turn which transpired into a 10 mile impromptu detour. Almost worth it though..

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Old 04-08-2013, 06:38 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want
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Old 04-08-2013, 06:54 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Slap for the first time ever. What the fuck is that mystery meat?




Nature did not produce that no matter how many hormones were induced.

The salad, onions, and sauce look great, but that is why I dont buy what they call Gyros, too many times baloney on a skewer.

Others? Or is is just me. Makes Beirut's food look so good now.
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Old 04-08-2013, 06:59 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by aging one
Slap for the first time ever. What the fuck is that mystery meat?
Some required reading for you, sir.

Doner Kebabs - what's really in them? | DESIblitz

But the truth is, no one knows, or cares.....
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Old 04-08-2013, 07:05 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satonic
I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want
Of course, I had an appetizer of salad with extra pickled green chillis and mint sauce mayo.....Mm Mmmmmmmmmmm!

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Old 04-08-2013, 07:06 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Bastard
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Old 04-08-2013, 07:12 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Where are the chillis? No need for the salad either, just add chips.



Remember, you can only eat half because you'll be needing the rest for breakfast tomorrow.
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Old 04-08-2013, 07:25 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bettyboo
Where are the chillis?
Don't test me when it comes to chillis, Betsy...

Standard verbiage:

"...and as many of those green chillis as your heart allows."
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Old 04-08-2013, 07:27 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Donor
Do they do a veggie version ?

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Old 04-08-2013, 07:40 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Somtamslap.

I hope you fucking burst.
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Old 04-08-2013, 07:51 PM   #16 (permalink)
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There is very little I miss from back home if anything but a large mixed kebab with loads of chilli sauce and extra pickled chili's would certainly go down a treat right now after reading this thread
And as said there should always be enough to take to work the next day for lunch or the bastards are as tight as
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Old 04-08-2013, 07:51 PM   #17 (permalink)
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This is my staple now I've given up 90% of junk food

heavily discounted out of date marinated corn Fed Aussie plane transported steaks
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Old 04-08-2013, 07:57 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurgen
Do they do a veggie version ?
The salad kebab is an option in every establishment. But no one buys it, ever...


Quote:
Originally Posted by withnallstoke
I hope you fucking burst.
There's a chance. My current plight is tonight's dinner: Roast lamb or roast beef? Decisions, decisions.


Quote:
Originally Posted by The Big Fella
There is very little I miss from back home if anything but a large mixed kebab with loads of chilli sauce and extra pickled chili's would certainly go down a treat right now after reading this thread
Slap succeeds! Making Thai expats jealous of England is currently my MO.
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Old 04-08-2013, 08:26 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dillinger
This is my staple now I've given up 90% of junk food
Fuck me! Three whole slices of carrot! Steady on, old bean. You might turn into a rabbit.
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Old 04-08-2013, 08:39 PM   #20 (permalink)
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My body is a temple nowadays. :-)

I am in awe at your distance riding on your push bike, while your eating all that shite.

I did ten miles of the Venice of England's fine canals about 20 years back and had to phone my dad to bring his Sierra estate and pick me, my dead legs and mountain bike home
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Old 04-08-2013, 08:47 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dillinger
I am in awe at your distance riding on your push bike
Push bike my arse.

Fatsos bike has an engine.
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Old 04-08-2013, 09:00 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somtamslap
To cut a long story short, I went on a bike ride yesterday. A 60-mile bike ride. It was a harrowing, four-letter word inducing affair, but nonetheless it was completed and for a few glorious minutes I basked in the satisfaction of a job well done. But when the fading traces of endorphins eventually subsided, I felt a huge void sweep over me. Something was missing. The day was yet to be concluded.
Naah, that wanting for a kebab doesn't come after a bike ride, Slap. You can't fool us. That particular hankering only arrives after a skinful in your local. And the ritual is then topped by spilling the grease and chilli sauce down your clothes...
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Old 04-08-2013, 09:28 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by withnallstoke
Fatsos bike has an engine
The Genesis Day One cyclo cross machine only has pistons. Brute strength, muscle laden thigh of Slap.
Quote:
Originally Posted by November Rain
That particular hankering only arrives after a skinful in your local.
You'd be surprised. Tackle one sober. They actually taste very nice indeed. I might have another one tonight.
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Old 04-08-2013, 09:41 PM   #24 (permalink)
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I'd like to see these Mark Hughes sized thighs in spandex.

solely for sports science reasons of course



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Old 04-08-2013, 09:50 PM   #25 (permalink)
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I'm sat here watching Sky News and they're showing some 100 mile bike ride from the Olympic Park to Kingston on Sea for novices

Slapper you lazy fat fock !!!!!!!
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