A Sophisticated Saturday evening with Slap

[somtamslap]

Pie and mash, fish and chips, curries, kebabs?

Although being ideal Friday night, post-pub fodder, such unsophisticated fare has no place on my dining table come Saturday evening.

After having spent the day purging oneself free of an unprecedented quantity of the previous evening's alcohol and fast-food intake, Saturday night has gradually evolved into a period custom-designed to revitalise the palate after the sound thrashing it received only hours before.

Long since departed, through the pores, gullet or indeed anus, are the remnants of deep fried, half-baked or slow boiled junk-food, and in turn replaced with a bushy tailed transfusion of premium light-bites and nibbles.

First on the list, and the very backbone of this banquet, is crusty French bread, sliced horizontally and lightly buttered. Be careful when shopping for this ingredient. Upon placing it in your trolley or basket, give it a light squeeze - if it sounds like a hike through an autumnal woodland, buy it; if it doesn't sound like a hike through an autumnal woodland, locate a member of the bakery team and beat them with it whilst extolling the virtues of a fresh loaf of fucking bread.

Next, and what a next, is a robust triangle of Camembert. Bouquet is of the essence here and this should be taken into consideration upon purchase. A wild-eyed, fully-dilated nostril sniff usually frees up the dairy aisle, as spotty supermarket employees scuttle away in every direction from the salivating vagrant swaying by the international cheese section.

The innards of a farmyard animal should be next on the list, preferably an animal of the porcine persuasion. Since we have plumped for a refined selection of edibles this evening, what better than a few choice chunks of coarse country pate with wild mushrooms. Delicious! You can actually taste how fucking coarse and wild it is.

Ok, so we've indulged ourselves here somewhat. A smattering of vegetation is required. Seek redemption by adding a handful of olives to the repast. Not only are they green (and therefore healthy) but they also make for an unrivalled addition to pate smeared slice of bread.

And lastly, liquid refreshment should always come in the form of ice cold, strong Belgian beer.

A cultured evening, I'm sure you'll agree....



.......just ignore the fact I'm currently watching All Star Family Fortunes.

[somtamslap]

.......just ignore the fact I'm currently watching All Star Family Fortunes.

But the fact that I want to punch Vernon Kaye extremely hard in the face might work in my favour....

[Smug Farang Bore]

It's 3 am here and I'd kill for that lot now...

[somtamslap]

It's all about the Leffe really. The grub was just an after thought...

[nigelandjan]

But the fact that I want to punch Vernon Kaye extremely hard in the face might work in my favour....

Good lad ,, give that fake northern ballbag one from me to

[somtamslap]

^ I never used to seethe when Les Dennis was presenting it.

Family Fortunes has been completely ruined!

[daveboy]

I tried that Leffe bear hated it.

[daveboy]

Like this though.

[nigelandjan]

Dave your paying over the odds for that one mate whatever your paying ,, had a bit in the paper about those designer label lagers a couple of weeks ago

[somtamslap]

I was toying with the idea of a pair of Peroni this evening. But the bottles aren't big enough..

[daveboy]

660 ml is the only way to go they go down a treat.

[daveboy]

This is stuff hits the spot.

[somtamslap]

660 ml

750 all the way with Leffe. It has a nice flavoursome belch to it.

I think I better have some more...

[Smug Farang Bore]

5 am and still can't sleep so keep the pics of beer coming...

[somtamslap]

5 am and still can't sleep so keep the pics of beer coming...

Wouldn't it be more productive to get in on the act there mate? I've run out of booze, therefore I shall eat myself to sleep...

[Kurgen]

Like this though.

I bought some of this from the Italian suppliers on Sukhumvit here, not worth the money to me.
Stella all the way.

[Dillinger]

Dave I can see you in the toaster you slap head

[Necron99]

^ He looks a it like popeye the sailor.

[Dillinger]

It is a nice crisp beer that Peroni. I do recall getting extremely mullered and missing a flight due to that stuff

[Dillinger]

He looks a it like popeye the sailor.

That Peroni is as smooth as Daves follically chalenged scalp

[somtamslap]

Stella all the way

In Thailand?

Must cost a fortune.

[Necron99]

I thought you were supposed to be earning a quid and saving for a return to your Issan Palace.
What's with all this top shelf pissupery?

[Dillinger]

Stella all the way.

ahh the old wife beater.

I can get that on draught here in Malaysia, works out to a little over 6 pounds a pint

[somtamslap]

^^One can be afforded a little lavishness come the week's end.

Mon-Fri I'm generally in Tescos £3 meal deal mode...

[Necron99]

Any news from Por?
Suspect he would have totally fouled your house by now.
Probably have to burn it down when you get back.