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UK Travel Forum Your Travels in England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland and the few other odd little Islands that Great Britain are left with.

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Old 29-06-2013, 09:27 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Another Friday feast: Slap goes traditional

It is customary in the UK, upon the cessation of a demanding week's labour, to visit a public house in order to obtain the status of a muddled mess-of-a-man, before adjourning from the establishment to be violently ill in the gutter. It is then fairly typical of the layman to venture on to one of a number of venues which for the most part go by The Khyber Pass, or The China Kitchen, or Uncle Ahmed's Kebab Emporium, or fucking Cousin Jemaine's Beef Jerk Portal, with a view to devour, with unscrupulous abandon, something's flesh.

'How incredibly boorish!', I hear you opine - and I, for one, would unequivocally concur with your sentiments.

Firstly, there's simply no excuse for being sick in a gutter. Not only is it antisocial behaviour but it's also a reckless waste of ale. People who puke in and around pubs should hereby be punished by way of a pool cue up the back-passage whilst being force-fed pint after pint of cheap white plonk. That'll teach you not to be able to drink properly won't it, you spotty student PRICK!

Secondly, this penchant for concluding the evening, although I've been known to be guilty on occasion, with foreign fare, frankly isn't cricket.

Take my most recent repast, for example.

Chips, steak and onion pie, 2 pickled eggs, and a fucking great gerkin. All washed down with half a dozen cans of lager, and enjoyed in the comfort of my own (well, someone else's actually) living room.

Traditional British fare, defined...

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Old 29-06-2013, 09:37 PM   #2 (permalink)
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The chip look pretty good slap, a pickled onion would have been good to.
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Old 29-06-2013, 09:37 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Looks like a delicious pukka pie.
One sunny afternoon whilst at The Gardeners Rest in Sheffield i was happily quaffing a few pints of old rosie.
Another customer entered sat at the bar ordered a pint of timothy taylor's and a pickled egg,next thing i heard was a muffled choking sound he swallowed the egg whole and it stuck in his throat. A swift whack on the back sorted the poor fellow out as he ejected the egg still whole but slightly the worse for wear onto the bar.Lucky he had a pint on the bar to ease the pain and soothe his sore throat.

Last edited by klong toey : 29-06-2013 at 09:44 PM.
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Old 29-06-2013, 09:47 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I'm waiting for fish an chips and a plough mans lunch.
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Old 29-06-2013, 09:47 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratchaburi
a pickled onion would have been good to.
I toyed with the idea, but the chip shop offerings are often a bit too big and not as flavoursome as their jarred counterparts - a bit like the gerkin, which was very average. The pickled eggs though - delicious as ever.


Quote:
Originally Posted by klong toey
Looks like a delicious pukka pie.
Indeed it was...there's no compromise..
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Old 29-06-2013, 09:55 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Necron99
I'm waiting for fish an chips
Already ticked off the list, old chap...




Quote:
Originally Posted by Necron99
a plough mans lunch.
Most definitely on the menu..
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Old 29-06-2013, 10:00 PM   #7 (permalink)
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^ proper fookin fish'n'chips, not bloody whether spoons crap.
Not even mushy peas there.....
Tartare sauce in a little bucket....fook off man!
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Old 29-06-2013, 10:14 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Necron99
Tartare sauce in a little bucket
Spoons are tight fuckers when it comes to condiments.

Otherwise it was a pretty good feed as far as fish n chips go..
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Old 30-06-2013, 12:39 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by klong toey
timothy taylor's
Now that is a beer i would kill for in Thailand along with Black Sheep, i'm not a Yorkshireman but i love their beer.
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Old 30-06-2013, 04:41 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I've never eaten a pickled egg. Seen them loads of times in the chippy.

Off to Edinburgh in a couple of weeks - i might partake of one.
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Old 30-06-2013, 04:48 AM   #11 (permalink)
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horrible
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Old 30-06-2013, 05:48 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratchaburi View Post
The chip look pretty good slap, a pickled onion would have been good to.
Rather heavy fare, as well.

'Tis wonder the Brits easily resemble their cousins across the water....as in: overweight.

Tradition.
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Old 30-06-2013, 07:36 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Foking hell Slapper,

How can you eat that shit after living in Thailand all those years and eating decent food ?

That shit is fuking disgusting.

No wonder all the Poms are unhealthy looking throttlers.
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Old 30-06-2013, 07:45 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Terry

was going to say something and my brain siesed up

been on u toob too much acdc and meatloaf and whatever
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Old 30-06-2013, 09:35 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by terry57
How can you eat that shit after living in Thailand all those years and eating decent food ?
Slap has skill. Slap is not proud of this particular skill. But slap has it.

Slap will now kindly pass-out.
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Old 30-06-2013, 09:52 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by patsycat View Post

Was going to say something and my brain siesed up.


Yes, well after having a look at Slappers food that he will shovel into his poor guts I can well understand why your Brain seized up.

I mean eating that shit will surely bring on a pre mature death.

Fuking shit soggy fat laden chips, a cancerous looking pie full of left over dogs bolliks and a few Eggs. ??????


Fuk me EH Pats ?
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Old 30-06-2013, 09:54 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Oh yes, there's a turd on the plate as well.
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Old 30-06-2013, 09:57 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Old 30-06-2013, 10:49 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Bad enough writing about stuff like that, but publishing photo's of it.....surely must be against international law or something..... The UK must be the only country in the world where the people eat worse food than their pets... Good thing they have decent beer........
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Old 30-06-2013, 12:27 PM   #20 (permalink)
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It looks disgusting, and it does surprise me how the brits continue to accept such unappetising dross on a regular basis, prepared by people who know little about food or hygiene.

Brits in general, know little about food, in spite of the endless promotion of food and cooking on tv these days, thats why the streets are full of obese spotty blotchy lazy horrors, who would rather spend their money on home cinemas and crisps than decent unprocessed food and spend some time cooking and enjoying it.

There is no hope for these morons, many will suffer years of illness and incapacitation with early death brought about purely by their own foolishness, gluttony, laziness and stupidity.

I am impressed by the knowledge thais have about the food they eat, how kids as young as ten can discuss the flavours and ingredients of the meals they eat, and how nutrition is taught in the schools, but with the endless onslaught of cheap sweet processed packaged foods these days, and peoples inability to refuse instant gratification, thais will also end up fat, ugly and sick, there are signs that it is already happening, especially amongst bangkoks schoolkids.

Hopefully slaps next thread will be about the joys of grilled kippers topped by a poached egg, I could murder for a decent kipper right now.
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Old 30-06-2013, 04:26 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by taxexile
how kids as young as ten can discuss the flavours and ingredients of the meals they eat,
Yes, nice little point.

But generally you lot are miserable fuckers.

That is premium Friday night grazing, right there.
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Old 30-06-2013, 04:51 PM   #22 (permalink)
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I've never eaten pickled eggs...
I purchased some beetroots the other day. I'm going to pickle them this week. Think I'll chuck a few boiled eggs in with them!

Slap. Get some of this down your neck.

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Old 30-06-2013, 04:58 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Quote:
That is premium Friday night grazing, right there
Its actually unappetising gloop, I dont know whats inside the pie, doubt if the cook did either, but that along with the chips which dont look too clever either, will, due to their excess fat content serve the purpose for which it was intended, to fill the stomach and satisfy the cravings of those whose judgement is impaired, either by drunkeness, or by lack of intelligence.

Once in a while, such poor judgement can be forgiven, but for many your photograph represents the staple diet of many.

The visual pollution caused by the presence on the streets of so many fat slobs should be made a criminal offence.

You probably cant even call them fat these days in case they take offence.
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Old 30-06-2013, 04:59 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somtamslap
But generally you lot are miserable fuckers. That is premium Friday night grazing, right there.
Yes, Slap we here in LOS are sure miserable fuckers.

"Premium Friday night grazing for sheep, rodents and cockroaches...not humans.

How's it going there Slap? Haven't read one of your mail-grams from the world of disbelief before. Since I know little about the UK and its lifestyle, you're posts on the subject are completely foreign worldly to me. I have spent a few days and weeks in London, mostly in and outs, but I was looking for more color from you on your re-entry into working life, confrontations with authority figures and the wonders of living in a teeming metropolis such as you are.

I wish you well and hope that you have found everything to your liking and are enjoying the return to the sites of your childhood and much maligned Mod teenage sex crazed rampages. Have you purchased a Vespa yet?
Cheers mate
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Old 30-06-2013, 05:15 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by taxexile
The visual pollution caused by the presence on the streets of so many fat slobs should be made a criminal offence.
I don't know. I'm starting to find a certain charm in the wobbly buttocks so oft spotted wending their way to and from the takeaway establishments. Those that insist on tattooing their faces and necks, on the other hand (and there is an abundance of these WANKERS), should be put down, slowly, after having repented all acts of previous antisocial and general scummy behaviour.

^ Lt - Good thanks, old chap.

I shall be returning presently, however...
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