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  1. #1
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    The Friday night fodder adventures continue: Slap goes native

    When in Rome, as the proverb has it, do as the Romans do. I'm not quite certain, but I'd hazard an educated guess that the typical visitor to Italy's illustrious capital has little desire to embark on a 700 year hurricane of barbaric savagery. I'm sure the more unorthodox among us have tried it - but the word on la strada, although these are unfounded rumbles, is that the exposed offenders are swiftly shipped off to the Vatican where they are sentenced to a 20 minute audience with the Pope before being buggered to death with a 20 inch leopard-print dildo in the Cistine Chapel - punishment severe enough to discourage the most primitive of souls, I'm sure you'll concur...

    However, I'm not in Rome - where I suppose one customarily conforms to the aforementioned adage by drinking pint upon pint of olive oil prior to belching a contented MAMMARA MIAAA - I am in fact in south London. So how exactly should one conduct oneself whilst wending amidst the English capital's suburbs?

    Firstly, it appears very much en vogue to lackadaisically loiter on street corners openly smoking extremely potent marijuana.

    This may have been an option when I was in my teens or early twenties, but nowadays I have no intention whatsoever to spend the lion's share of the day in a state of self-induced extreme spastication. No, as far as I'm concerned you can fuck right off - and stick your 'gunja' up your arse while you're doing it.

    Secondly, and on a much more wholesome note, let's delve, if we may, into the culinary delights offered in the area.

    Fried chicken? Available yes, but somewhat old hat.

    Kebabs? Without question one of the finest foodstuffs available on the planet, but I fear, as a conversational point, they have been beaten dog-tied.

    Indian? Again, almost unrivalled. In terms of Friday night post-drinking fodder there is little that can supersede the sensation of stumbling into a Balti house ablaze with sizzling dishes of south Asian cuisine. But again, this topic has been metaphorically fucked hard up the backside.

    Caribbean? Strays from the beaten path to a degree, doesn't it...

    Let's go ahead and try some.

    Step 1: Locate a Caribbean restaurant..



    Step 2: Peruse the menu...



    Step 3: Opt for the goat curry...



    Step 4: Savour the flavour..

    SLAP WEH!

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat
    taxexile's Avatar
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    Is yours the small for 250 baht or the large for 370 baht?

  3. #3
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    Albert Shagnastier's Avatar
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    Rice and Pea
    Ackee and Saltfish.
    Jerk chicken.
    Good work.

    And don't forget ya dumplings

  4. #4
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by taxexile
    Is yours the small for 250 baht or the large for 370 baht?
    The prices had gone up actually - I got went for the (not so) small option at 6.50.

    Jerk chicken next time....with rice and pea, mun...

  5. #5
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    Looks awful actually, but then again most thai dishes look awful.

    Goatmeat is usually quite tasty.

    But surely a decent chippy would have been a better option.

    Do jamaicans know how to wash their hands properly?

  6. #6
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    Slap - Pie and Mash, Jellied Eels and even Fish and Chips.....the British staple has to be searched out in Englands capital city, seems all foreigners are coining the resteraunt trade.

  7. #7
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Albert Shagnastier
    And don't forget ya dumplings
    I'll be slowly making my way through their menu before I come back to noodle soup and pad krapow (which I don't miss at all)


    Quote Originally Posted by taxexile
    Goatmeat is usually quite tasty
    Lovely. Derived from their herbaceous diet.


    Quote Originally Posted by taxexile
    But surely a decent chippy would have been a better option.
    I think that might be occurring next Friday, or tonight..

  8. #8
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dobella
    Pie and Mash
    Certainly on the list. So much food, only one slap...

  9. #9
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    When I was 8 one of the West Indian teachers taught how to cook plantains properly. Nice too. Being from a multicultural part of London - Finsbury Park, many Carribean places are abound. The stews are nice, jerk chicken (yawn) is great and my fave is ackee & salt fish. Love curry goat - don't understand why goat isn't more widely consumed generally.

    If you can get it home cooked by my mates Uncle Roy and he does you a variety of lunch boxes for your 5 hour train journey, even better.

  10. #10
    ding ding ding
    Spin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    Step 1: Locate a Caribbean restaurant..
    Step 2: Make sure they have D&G Grape Soda.

    Step 3: Rice and Peas.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by taxexile View Post

    But surely a decent chippy would have been a better option.
    I'm with him, Meat Pie Chips and gravy so long as you're not watching your weight.

    Hope that hasn't sparked a North South Civil War about gravy on your chips.

    Cheers

  12. #12
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    The ' Jerk ' stuff doesn't sound too appetising. Sounds like some kind of coons marinade .

  13. #13
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    I got a jar of Dunns River jerk sauce marinade, I must say it's an aquired taste, nothing like what you'd eat at a restaurant, dunno why.

    Here's my local:

    Cribbs - Restaurant & Bar - Falmouth, Cornwall

    And there's a genuine black man cooking. Can't stand ethnic places with an english chef, including Thai

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bangyai
    The ' Jerk ' stuff doesn't sound too appetising.
    I've got 'jerk rub' on my shopping list if it makes you feel less disgusted, Bangers.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat
    including Thai
    Last on my list on fare 'to do' in Blighty, but it will happen..

  16. #16
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    I'm in London in 2 weeks, I know a fabulous Thai place in North London with Budvar & Leffe blonde on draught

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat View Post
    I got a jar of Dunns River jerk sauce marinade, I must say it's an aquired taste, nothing like what you'd eat at a restaurant, dunno why.

    Here's my local:

    Cribbs - Restaurant & Bar - Falmouth, Cornwall

    And there's a genuine black man cooking. Can't stand ethnic places with an english chef, including Thai
    What about a whitey blacked up for effect?

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Albert Shagnastier
    Ackee and Saltfish.
    Good stuff that, didn't see it on the menu though.

  19. #19
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    When i read the menu I was hoping you'd get the cow foot, just to see a pic of it!!!

  20. #20
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    ^


  21. #21
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat View Post
    I'm in London in 2 weeks, I know a fabulous Thai place in North London with Budvar & Leffe blonde on draught
    I had a couple of Leffe on Friday - it's tasty. In fact it's very tasty.

    It's tasty, tasty, very very tasty - IT'S VERY TASTY!

    Pats - cow foot was on the menu. I'll try some next time I go. Just for you.

  22. #22
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    if its resembles anything like the yunnan pigs foot i ate once at doi salong, you would do well to give it a miss!

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    Step 3: Opt for the goat curry...
    Lovingly served in styrofoam, with an extra plastic fork, no less.

  24. #24
    TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    The prices had gone up actually



    Is that The Honky Menu ?

  25. #25
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by WilliamBlake
    Lovingly served in styrofoam, with an extra plastic fork, no less.
    Bastards obviously didn't think we were worthy of their crockery. Twas a right twat to scrape the dregs out of that tray.

    I shall be having a word with Jermal next time..

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