Escaping Songkran in Pattaya
Sorry guys, I started this upon my return to Pty but some serious stuff got in the way and it's far from complete. Also, not the brightest and still not got the hang of posting pics, but here goes...
Nothing mystical about not wanting to be in Pattaya over Songkran, you don't need to be old or bearded or a tree hugger and nothing personal, just that it stinks.
Over the past year we had done CM, Kanchanaburi and even 3 weeks of frolicking in India, sweet each time, no hassles at all aside from the expected taxi drivers and other leechers because they're a fairly easy to categorise bunch whether Thai, Indian or Kazakstani, and lotsa good memories. Now we fantasised about something exotic like Burma or HK, then toyed with Cambodia and at around the beginning of April after a heap of grief I finally caved in and agreed to leave it to mrs on condition she does everything from packing to transport, hotels and whatever else fits into a package as sweet as the ones I'd organised. Yeah ok then, start chortling, like you know something.
So off she went on her puter, all in Thai and lots of it and whenever I asked something or reminded her of the obvious like don't forget my shaving gel she'd gimme that look and I backed off and fast, and after many hours over many days she finally came up with the answer to our Songkran destination, Khau Yai. I'd heard of it, sounded like a National Park or something which is precisely what it turned out to be and after looking at its size and layout I reminded her that this sort of place usually needs a car, or a backpack with wicked walking boots and a serious dose of youthful exuberance or folly.
No plobrem, she assured me as she started packing the case, everything would work like clockwork. I reminded her I need my boots, got that look again so I turned to more mundane stuff like trying to find healthier trailer park boys torrents.
Turned out she'd be at home in Bkk over the 7/8th weekend, so we arranged for her to take the suitcase by cab and I'd meet her Tuesday 10th at Morchit to kick off however for wherever.
So Tuesday 10th it was that I arrived around noon at Morchit by bus, though I had been calling her en route to confirm her progress and give her mine. Conversation went like this:
hi tilak
hi
now i come morchit
yes i wait you
you have kapow so you want i come to you?
ok
where are you?
i am morchit.
<unperturbed, been there...!> where in morchit, how i come to you?
<pause> turn lept
<pause, with me looking around, for her or the camera> um, tilak?
yes?
can you see me?
no, turn lept.
<long pause> tilak, do you know which way i am turn now?
no
so why you say turn lept?
yes turn lept...ok you stay i come you.
She appeared a few minutes later, having left the case at the luggage store, and then scolded me for being silly when I started demonstrating where I might have ended up by turning lept according to which way I was facing when the instruction arrived.
So where now, she takes my hand and I follow, into the lead taxi at the rank, which takes us to a shopping centre for breakfast and a quick tour during which she picked up some must have bits, then a taxi back to Morchit and on the bus to Pak Chong I was already more than 2k lighter. An uneventful 3-4 hours brought us to Pak Chong, small town, met by the local taxi mob, she pulls one aside, tells him PhuPhaya hotel, he says 20, she nods and puts the case into the taxi and jumps on...well, not exactly a taxi...it's called a salek, an Isaani deathtrap that's perfectly safe till something happens and then you're dead, with the driver perched behind the passenger cart and steering it like a motorised supermarket trolley except it has no sides to keep the food in above toot level; no doubt the designer has entered posterity and long may he stay there. The passenger bit has two metal benches about 6 inches wide facing each other that passengers sit on with cargo between them, and with absolutely nothing to hold on to except each other or the metal you're sitting on, or of course the steering handle if a bump nudges you off balance as it will, because that'll throw the driver right off course and kill you and you'll be blamed and your estate will have to pay for a new salek. Still, I felt much better when he put on a helmet.
2 mins later we're at reception and I'm beginning to regret caving in to mrs' egalitarian principles. Jed roy baht, said the receptionist as we approached, but to be fair the two other girls behind the counter did smile and may have sensed my plight because they seemed sympatico. After mrs thought about it, asked some questions and nodded ok I reminded her that we have to see the room before releasing cold hard cash, the while hoping she could also smell the mustiness but that was expecting too much. Yes the room also felt stale, but mrs went through the motions, checked the aircon and tv worked, poked her head into the bathroom and made the right sounds just like a yuppy doing the wine tasting bit before agreeing 700 was the right price, mistakenly taking my digs in the bum as a sign that we were onto a right winner here. Still, we were on holiday and I wasn't going to allow trivialities to get in the way of the fun we were gonna have rubbing shoulders with mother nature over the next week and a bit.
When we returned after checking in the tv remote didn't work because the batteries were dead which left one of us wondering when the room was last occupied, but new batteries solved that and the engineer arrived less than another 5 minutes later to fix the aircon which was on but not actually doing anything. Leave it 5 minutes (to overcome the thought of having to work), he said with confidence as though that's the norm for the region, and when we called him back 10 minutes later he said sometimes it takes 15 minutes not 5, then sat on the floor waiting for something cold to come out of the vent but it didn't, so he called the engineer, against my lighthearted protest that the baggage boy referred to him as the engineer. Anyway, someone else came, played around with it and it did actually end up performing.
Quick shower and we're off to reconoitre so I want my runners, asked where they are and of course she didn't pack them, or my slippers, or my boots, so I'm stuck with the sandals I'm wearing for the duration. And they're new, and pinching, and my right heel's already sore, and my left pinkie is bleeding, and the fockers are only a week old even though I didn't want them because they felt a bit tight but mrs insisted because they look nice and are leather so would stretch and must be good because they cost 1350 baht, and that's after the discount. She likes discounts, has to be carried past shops displaying a number followed by a % sign, and the fact that some stores are on permanent sale is an irrelevancy only farangs cling to.
Just as well there's not much to see, typical nondescript halfway house to somewhere else, discovered the village market running along side the main road, friendly people, lots of food but nothing new except some strange fruit I'm still not sure whether I liked or hated. She tried to get me to buy some slippers, but they had nothing I liked; should've taken something for reserve, but beneath the bravado I was getting cranky. At the end of the market she held her course, even though I constantly reminded her that every step we go is two because we also also have to return. Bit abstract, but saved by the Rim Thani Hotel, fronting a river with its veranda restaurant overlooking it, looked much cleaner so I followed mrs in to check it out, visited a couple of rooms, very clean and better furnished, asked how much, 700, I tested with 600, lady agreed, mrs didn't look at me for the next 10 minutes even though she had nothing to fear because we were on holiday and nothing was going to spoil it. The grub at the restaurant was adequate but nothing special and over the next hour or so I learned that Rim in Thai means edge, and Thani means or should mean mosquito infested river.
On the way back to our hotel through the market, as we'd decided to move on to Khao Yai tomorrow, I insisted we start stocking up on food. I'm very fussy, can't eat where most farangs can, and had a bad feeling about the facilities at the National Park because each time I asked her about food, transport and accommodation, she seemed a bit vague. Never answered actually, just said they have food, and must have rooms and transport because otherwise nobody could go there. So we bought loads of fruit and a few knoms, which is just as well.
Couldn't sleep from the cold flowing out of the aircon unit and couldn't turn it down either because that's a magical Isaani thing, and turning it off brought back the stuffiness.
Woke up feeling very tired next morning, but that's unimportant because today's the day we conjoin with ma nature. We took a trucktaxi thing to the entrance of Khao Yai, holds around 20 comfortably and we were the only ones going to the Park and I was the only farang and a bit concerned that everyone was well loaded with fruit and veggies and candles and common household stuff and we had nothing but some fruit and a few knoms. Don't worry be happy, she said, so I turned into the whistling fool.
It was hot, so I sat up front with the driver hoping he had aircon, even when the Thais started sniggering when mrs said there would be no aircon, which he didn't have but managed to sneak off a couple of puffs, which I knew was futile because she can smell it a mile off, so I got smacked about a bit when we disembarked but nothing much. Good news, Khao Yai allow farangs the Thai entry fee on production of a Thai driving license, so I got in for 40 instead of 400, and if you wince at the disparity consider the Taj Mahal which is 750rs but 20 for Indians.
No car, and the convoy of taxis she told me would be waiting was nowhere to be seen, just like the hordes of carless farangs that we were supposed to be part of. She asked some attendant guy how we can get in and he offered to take us for 400, of course.
Oh well, a free trip if the cup's half full instead of half empty, and we're on holiday so what the hell let's go for it, even though my feet were already beginning to fester. Scenic drive, and I observed early on there must be something about nature that turns mindless morons into careful and considerate drivers...for the first time in Thailand I felt really safe on the roads, at least from other users, because these were a bit more daunting than the speedo straights of Sukhumvit. Also, I started feeling very tired which I put down to lack of sleep rather than being swamped by unpolluted air.
About 16k later we arrived at the central office, a large wooden bungalow, with more wood constructions for the rangers and other admin. Looked well laid out and oozed tranquility, which I really needed by now, but rugged, which had me in two minds, and the holiday's just starting, with some hut-restaurants, an eating area, small convenience store and other facilities on the other side of the winding 2 lane road. Our driver waited while we checked in, nice of him because I thought we paid from gate to central office and at first I thought the buildings in the area were accommodation, but they're the Park's admin core, with a number of housing and camping areas dotted around the Park, and he was going to take us to our home for the next few days.
Whatever they quote at Central is not negotiable because behind the desk is listed every housing/camping unit together with price. I much prefer it that way, no stress. Only, not sure what was being said but it seemed they were full, which didn't bother me in the least because mrs assured me everything was under control. Which it was, when the lady kindly moved this here and that there, disturbed the girl playing solitaire by telling her to switch these people who would be arriving in the next couple of hours from here to there and them to here and eventually gave us a room in housing area 4, which turned out to be virtually empty, for now, but packed solid two days later. Cost, 800. I checked out their other accommodation from the listing, and it seems they cater to everything from singles to groups of 50 at a time, with bungalows, houses and villas thoughtfully laid out in 4 main housing areas, and at least two very large camping areas where campers can rent tents from 100 to 500 a night, which of course they have to install and uninstall for themselves. Some of the villas accommodate up to 30 people and can be rented for less than 3k per night; sounds like a good deal, but do take your own food and provisions, and footwear.
The lady spoke good English so I asked about restaurant facilities and she said every camping and housing area has a restaurant, or cooking equipment that staff sometimes use to provide meals for the paying, but the one at our housing area was rarely used because visitors tend to use the facilities to cook their own food, and having visited the 'food area' am feeling real great and need no reminding there's a bit of fruit between me and starvation. Then I asked via mrs about transport, and was told there isn't any. Then I asked how far our room is from the nearest shop, and she said 6 km, to Central Office.
Our room turned out to be one of some 20 in a large, sprawling bungalow complex under a single roof, about 20 sq metre and furnished by the local feng shui guy, tiled bathroom otherwise bare wood floor, cleaner than I expected, no tv, yes fan, no aircon, which I must confess disturbed me no end, though the gas-run shower was efficient, and importantly, the bed linen was clean and consisted of a large Thailand National Parks sheet and two TNP duvets. The slatted window was protected by well fitting insect mesh, and during our stay insects were no bother at all, assuming common sense, and the air was so fresh we didn't even use the fan.
The driver had gone, leaving us 6 km from civilisation with no transport, and though it was very different two days later the only other occupied rooms in our complex housed an elderly though extremely fit looking birdwatching Swedish woman that spoke fluent Thai, and her two Thai companions. They arrived in one of those serious looking chunky things that sweep through National Parks like they're not there, with everything from tons of food to cooking equipment for well prepared people on the rough. We didn't communicate much, just nods and greetings with brief chats about birds.