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Travel the World Travellers Tales Forum Your Holidays and travels in different countries of the world, including Europe, Africa, South America, Iraq, Egypt and many others.

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Old 04-07-2017, 11:16 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Just back from Italy

Hit the airport boozer

Drank lots of Peroni - some seven glasses of the stuff if memory serves, which it doesn't. Details of any flight I take nowadays are always somewhat sketchy.



Final call to the gate and I complemented my final gulp of lager with 10mg of diazepam. The ensuing flight was as smooth as fucking silk - despite the carrier being a Ryan Air 737. It took me the best part of an hour to get the sassy bint in charge of the trolley to provide me with an in-flight beverage.

Landed in Treviso, near Venice. The weather wasn't behaving. In fact, life on Italian soil was beginning to irk me already - you travel half way across the globe and are greeted by intermittent showers and bad driving. From what I'd heard, once you landed Spag-Bol side life got decidedly warmer and lithe, bronzed torsos slinked around the place inciting seismic underpant activity. Didn't happen. Just rain.

Rain. And mountains...



Heading deep into the Dolomites...



Made it to the hotel and, after unpacking, headed into the lobby for dinner. Of course in Italy, a meal always starts with antipasti...

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Old 04-07-2017, 11:29 PM   #2 (permalink)
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More on the morrow-io.

Although, in the meantime, I'm sure Lulu will be able to give you some background info on the region.
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Old 05-07-2017, 06:35 AM   #3 (permalink)
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It's an absolute bastid that you can't safely travel anywhere it seems without being mocked by the weather in these times. Sun tans in April/May where I am currently, but come the "summer" months and its wellies and raincoat season. That's foked up.

Looking forward to the rest of your (presumably always interesting travel freds).
"Carry on"
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Old 05-07-2017, 08:15 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Please Slap.- No lycra clad bottoms in this thread.
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Old 05-07-2017, 08:17 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Boo! Spoilsport!
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Old 05-07-2017, 08:19 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Please Slap.- No lycra clad bottoms in this thread.
Hang on a minute - that's a bit of a broad brush you are painting with there. A fine young Italian wenches lycra clad bottom would be very acceptable.
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Old 05-07-2017, 08:21 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nidhogg
A fine young Italian wenches lycra clad bottom would be very acceptable.
You know that's not the way the fat bloke works though.
He goes to exotic locations, usually with a friend who cycles, and they photograph each other in their kit.
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Old 05-07-2017, 11:25 AM   #8 (permalink)
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^ Why you so harsh aspeak, when every peeps knowa Italiano she the languid of Love?
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Old 05-07-2017, 11:40 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chassamui
Why you so harsh aspeak, when every peeps knowa Italiano she the languid of Love?
Because the only thing Italian that Slapper is interested in is their sausages.

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Old 05-07-2017, 01:20 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Pre smoked Italian sausage even.

Oh my. (faints)
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Old 05-07-2017, 04:55 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by withnallstoke
Because the only thing Italian that Slapper is interested in is their sausages.
Incorrect. Although sausage happened to a certain degree, the trip mainly featured the total and utter decimation of the mini bar on a daily basis. The local brew, Forst, was partaken of on a quite monumental scale...

Here is my balcony on which I would enjoy 33cl after 3cl bottle of aforementioned Forst. Forst is the shit, my friends. The shit.

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Old 05-07-2017, 05:09 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Did you get any cycling in or was it a family hiking trip?
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Old 05-07-2017, 05:15 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chittychangchang
Did you get any cycling in
Just a bit

Maratona dles Dolomites - Enel
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Old 05-07-2017, 05:46 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by withnallstoke
Please Slap.- No lycra clad bottoms in this thread.
Day 2, and Mr. Slaps hasn't fallen in love with Kevin the lone cyclist (in lycra) yet...

The view out the window looks nice.
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Old 05-07-2017, 06:06 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Hi Booby, you terrible fucker. Where have you been?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bettyboo
The view out the window looks nice.
That was during a cloudy spell on the first evening. The view at the front the following morning was classic Dolomites...

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Old 05-07-2017, 06:10 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bettyboo
Day 2, and Mr. Slaps hasn't fallen in love with Kevin the lone cyclist (in lycra) yet
Looking at the link, the theme of the race was Love so let's not rule out any spandex stretchin' just yet
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Old 05-07-2017, 06:14 PM   #17 (permalink)
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After breakfast - the usual continental style offering - I went somewhere and was given several bags of free stuff. I like free stuff. Almost as much as I like Forst.

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Old 05-07-2017, 06:22 PM   #18 (permalink)
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After having been given free stuff I went somewhere else and brushed shoulders with professional cyclists, including this bedraggled chap. Bradley Wiggins, former World Champion, six-time Olympic gold medallist and erstwhile Tour de France yellow jersey winner. I like the Tour de France. Almost as much as I like Forst.

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Old 05-07-2017, 07:41 PM   #19 (permalink)
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After having brushed shoulders with famous people, I went up a mountain in a cable car - it was an experience which I never wish to repeat. Lunch was eaten at the top and I made my way back down on foot. It took quite a long time...

There be wild boar in those woods.

I also got chased by a herd of cows; turned my ankle over and smashed my wrist up. The hills were indeed alive with the sound of swearing.



About 45 minutes into the descent...

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Old 05-07-2017, 07:52 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Nice. I'm off that way next month for 3 week mini tour of Europe with the Sprog. UK, Frogland, Barcelona, Italiana.

Looks fresh. Will prolly be pissing down when we get there.

Though I may just stay in France drinking cheap ass plonk by the gallon load, and tell the Sproglette to write me up a report on Barca and Rome after she learns how to write.
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Old 05-07-2017, 07:59 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Looks fresh.
Oh, it's fresh. Fresh and crisp. But not as fresh and crisp as Forst.
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Old 05-07-2017, 08:08 PM   #22 (permalink)
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I love Italy in the north around Lake Del Garda just on the foothills of the Swiss Alps!l

Great food..... great people!
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Old 05-07-2017, 08:19 PM   #23 (permalink)
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I love Italy in the north around Lake Del Garda just on the foothills of the Swiss Alps!l

Great food..... great people!
Cheers.
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Old 05-07-2017, 08:37 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Forget Peroni!!... its cheap Europiss.... get on the Birra Moretti... and throw your arms around and elongate the final consonants. Some female with hairy armpits will soon sweep you up into her ample bosom.
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Old 05-07-2017, 09:00 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Some female with hairy armpits will soon sweep you up into her ample bosom.
That happened to me in Bulgaria ..... or maybe it was Rumania, .... can't quite remember. Trying to forget actually.
That experience may well have prompted my yellow fever.
My only Italian experience was cycling around Sicily. Very big hills. Maybe it was Sardinia.
Trying to forget.
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