Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst 1234
Results 76 to 99 of 99
  1. #76
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    Today @ 12:49 AM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,347
    Quote Originally Posted by klong toey
    Mr Slap, I'm not sure if if you are aware of the fact that there are a lot easier way's of doing a pub crawl.
    Yes, but this way is more fun.

    First on the agenda was to put an operation I had dubbed 'get out of Bordeaux as quickly as fucking possible' into play. Fortunately the weather was clement and it was nice to feel the sun on my face after enduring months of murk in the UK. So after a quick slurp of coffee (upon requesting a cup of the sacred bean you are literally served up with a mere slurp in this country) I made my way from the towards the city centre to get my bearings.





    It doesn't matter where you go, there's always a trio of pissheads - usually two chaps and a lass - making the town memorial look scruffy.



    With surprising ease - given the vast size of the city - I negotiated my way into Bordeaux's suburbs and, very much by luck rather than design, happened upon a cycle path which would take me all the way to the coast in Lacanau.



    I raced betwixt pine and swine - this part of the south west is home to hectares and hectares of pine plantations, and I'm sure I caught a glimpse of a wild boar shuffling through the woodland, so - pine and swine it is.



    Once in Lancanau, I exhausted my culinary-related vocabulary and ordered lunch...

    Mmm mmmmm. C'est tres bon.


  2. #77
    Custom user
    Neverna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Teakdoor forum upgrade office
    Posts
    12,013
    They think of everything, those French chaps. Even if something is cyclable when pissed. Gotta love 'em.





    .
    Last edited by Neverna; 04-04-2017 at 09:47 PM. Reason: un typo

  3. #78
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    Today @ 12:49 AM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,347
    After lunch I joined a quiet road which took me to my final destination for the day, the seaside resort of Soulac-sur-Mer. I arrived in fine weather and the place had a low-level buzz to it; early season holiday makers gathered and ate crepes and sipped on colourful drinks. I found the beach and look out on to the Atlantic ocean for a while, it submerged me in a kind of calmness and serenity after the manic three days it had taken me to arrive here.



    I found a hotel; there only appeared to be three open - and once in my room took a long hot shower and watched a French game show on TV. I was unable to answer any of the questions so I decided that I should adjourn to the bar and console myself with 17 bottles of beer.

    However, what happened next turned out to be one of the more surreal moments of the trip. Arriving downstairs and walking out into the street, which just an hour ago was bristling with tourists frequenting bars and cafes, I was now greeted by utter - total and utter - silence. Within the course of an hour, Soulac-sur-Mer had turned into a ghost town. Not one cafe, bar or shop was open, and everyone - it seemed - had fled town in a mighty hurry.

    With an eerie ocean breeze whispering through the empty streets an alleys - the soundrack to my perplexity - I walk with a furrowed brow until eventually finding a hidden away restaurant where I would dine on a goats cheese salad which I washed down with a carafe of white wine and three pints of Pelforth blonde.





    Day three was officially done and dusted.

  4. #79
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    Today @ 12:49 AM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,347
    Quote Originally Posted by Neverna
    They think of everything, those French chaps. Even is something is cyclable when pissed. Gotta love 'em
    They were definitely trying to channel in a subliminal message. And I have to say that it worked. It work exceedingly well.

  5. #80
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    Today @ 12:49 AM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,347
    Location at the end of day 3


  6. #81
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    Today @ 12:49 AM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,347
    The following morning I woke early and rode five miles or so to catch a ferry at the port of Verdon-sur-Mer. The boat journey over to Royan would only take 20 minutes and once there I could ride north unimpeded by any more unnecessarily wide bodies of water... or so I thought.

    En route to the ferry port in the morning mist.



    The heroic Monsieur Slap surveys land hitherto unexplored — aka The gratuitous Lycra-clad batty shot.



    Once aboard the boat I could finally scoff down some breakfast. French croissants; light, buttery, crispy and extremely fucking messy. I'm still picking pastry out of my hair today.



    Docking in Royan...



    ... home of the famous PLANET EXOTICA - just for Bogie.



    After not a little faffing about, I found some quiet byways and really put the adventure bike through its paces, heading ever north, north, north...



    But not without the occasional break at a Bar Tabac, the quintessential French watering hole...


  7. #82
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    Today @ 12:49 AM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,347
    The journey north continued.

    Boulevard of broken batties?


  8. #83
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    Today @ 12:49 AM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,347
    Right about now - just as I'd activated cruise control; found a nice little zone in which to pedal and become rather pleasantly detached from reality, I happened upon an unsurmountable hurdle...

    I'd been blitzing up the country on a selection of what the British would call B roads. My destination for lunch was Rochefort, about 50 clicks south of La Rochelle, and I was making excellent progress - the wind was at my back and psychologically I was feeling pretty chipper for a change.



    Then this big bastard loomed large. The only way into Rochefort, it transpired, was via this motorway - which was possibly a little too high for my tastes.



    I frantically tapped a query into Google, it read something a little like this: "I can't be fucked to do this anymore -where's the nearest pub?" Met with a blank stare, I decided to consult the map which informed me that the nearest crossing which would be more likely not to end in utter carnage was about 15km to the east. I opted to pusue this avenue and began slowly wending my way amid the pan flat pastureland.

  9. #84
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    Today @ 12:49 AM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,347
    With revised plans to stop in La Rochelle for the night, I finally, after about 80 miles or so, arrived in the seaside resort at around 6pm.

    La Rochelle was very chic, very urbane, very romantic...



    Enter the sweaty foreign fucker on the hunt for beer and chips... which were duly located and savaged.


  10. #85
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    Today @ 12:49 AM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,347
    London has its Boris Bikes, virtually every city worth its salt in France has a fleet of bicycles for tourists and locals alike to potter about on. Blighty has a lot to learn in terms of creating healthy and fresh city environments...



    The folliwng day, after a reasonable five or so hours of shut-eye, I swung on my rucksack, which seemed to be gaining a couple of kilos per day - according to the sharp stinging sensation at the top of my back - and saddled up the steed.

    This coastal path out of La Rochelle and eventually into Brittany gave the adventure bike a chance to shine. I popped in the headphones and listened to some 80s classics while gunning my way towards Nantes, the sixth largest city in France.


  11. #86
    Member
    yortyiam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Last Online
    Today @ 07:12 AM
    Location
    uncertain!
    Posts
    768
    France does look very appealing, I'll give it that. Nice selection of pics Somtam, fang yer muchly!

  12. #87
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    Today @ 12:49 AM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,347
    Monsewer Slap stood breathing in meditative breaths of fresh sea air while ruminating life's imponderables. "The Atlantic Ocean," concluded M. Slap, "Is really fucking massive."



    Some eight hours and 100 miles up the road I eventually breached the Nantes city boundaries.



    It was rush hour on a Thursday night and the roads into the city were chock full of impatient motorists hissing expletives (Zut Alor etc etc) at one another. I slinked through the mayhem and found myself - as usual - a shitty little hotel, and after a quick bath during which I found it remarkably pleasant to submerge my beaten thighs in scalding hot water, I went into town with the expressed intention of eating and drinking my own body weight in regional produce.

    The city itself was remarkably clean and boasted an lots of impressive intricately crafted buildings...some of which sold beer.

    Let me tell you something. This Duchesse Anne gear will ping your nuts clean off.



    A few city street scenes in Nantes





    La grand place



    And then I found it. A venue which would alter the course of the entire trip. The Irish were present, and, as custom would have it, they were instigating carnage. And today, M. Slap was at the epicentre of it...



    Sorry, this is a slow burner. Lots of naked ladies coming up.

  13. #88
    Custom user
    Neverna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Teakdoor forum upgrade office
    Posts
    12,013
    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post

    Sorry, this is a slow burner. Lots of naked ladies coming up.
    From the establishment on the left?

    (A Thai themed massage parlour perhaps?)

  14. #89
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    Today @ 12:49 AM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,347
    Quote Originally Posted by Neverna
    From the establishment on the left?
    Good spot! I'm not saying anything yet, but rest assured that these girls are really, really, reallllly naked. In fact, they're probably more naked than any girls have ever been in the whole wide world...ever!

    Oh, and while I'm here - here's a picture of an egg.


  15. #90
    Thailand Expat
    Dillinger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    18,165
    great thread Slapper.

    wheres your next adventure planned for?

  16. #91
    Thailand Expat klong toey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Last Online
    15-11-2017 @ 05:18 AM
    Posts
    5,616
    Did the egg get sucked up the straw or did you use your fingers to eat.

  17. #92
    Custom user
    Neverna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Teakdoor forum upgrade office
    Posts
    12,013
    And what is a Thai fried egg doing in a thread abouut France!?! (Unless it came out of that "darling" establishment!)

  18. #93
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    Today @ 12:49 AM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,347
    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger
    wheres your next adventure planned for?
    One more in Europe then, bollocks to this, back to Thailand.



    Quote Originally Posted by klong toey
    Did the egg get sucked up the straw or did you use your fingers to eat.
    I popped it atop a plate of spicy flesh and wolfed the fucker down.



    Quote Originally Posted by Neverna
    (Unless it came out of that "darling" establishment!)
    Yes. Yes! That's what happened. We'll go with that.

  19. #94
    Special member
    jizzybloke's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    7,868
    Chop chop with the fucking story slap!

  20. #95
    Cabaged Member
    Chittychangchang's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    thailand and UK
    Posts
    7,923
    In Thailand fried egg goes on everything...

  21. #96
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    Today @ 12:49 AM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,347
    Quote Originally Posted by Chittychangchang
    In Thailand fried egg goes on everything...
    Apart from somtam - then you get kai kem instead.



    Quote Originally Posted by jizzybloke
    Chop chop with the fucking story slap!
    Jizz, I'm just giving photobucket the patience and respect it clearly demands. What a horrible fucking website.

  22. #97
    Thailand Expat
    bsnub's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    14,167
    You should use imgur.com instead. PB is a dated piece of trash.

  23. #98
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Last Online
    Today @ 12:49 AM
    Location
    Down on the farm
    Posts
    13,347
    The following day, with a re-enactment of the battle of agincourt raging deep within my brain — the previous evening's frivolities had been, how can we say, fucking rampant — I drew back the curtain, while simultaneously dry gagging on 20 pints of imported Guinness, and revealed a quite wonderful sight.

    A gare. A massive fucking gare.



    I love gares.

    A gare - to the throngs of less linguistically gifted out there - is a train station.

    I made haste down to the breakfast table where I gagged my way through yet another continental offering which as usual comprised of a croissant, a length of French stick and some fucking jambon. Not really a breakfast in my book - but, when in Rome, or Nantes in this case.

    Packing my bags and saddling up the steed, I pushed it to the train station and bought a ticket to 'somewhere in Brittany' then I slung the bike on the train, popped a Valium, drank a Kronenbourg and settled in for a few hours of blissful rail travel...



    I regaled tales of my journey up from Bordeaux to a Frenchman who listened with breathless enthusiasm as I retraced my tyre tracks...


  24. #99
    Thailand Expat klong toey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Last Online
    15-11-2017 @ 05:18 AM
    Posts
    5,616
    The recital turned another listeners hair a very strange colour.

Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst 1234

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •