A two-minute wander: London to the Flanders fields and back

[somtamslap]

First in a succession of tales from the Two-minute wanderer - that's me, by the way.

In this first episode we head to the fields of Flanders to ride the famous - although you almost definitely have never heard of it - Gent-Wevelgem Spring Classic sportive. A fair quota of alcohol is also consumed and there is also some live feeding action.

I hope you enjoy it.

It needs polishing - two videos integral to the script were corrupt so that made a mess of things.

Critique it - BUT DON'T YOU DARE HURT MY FEELINGS .

And subscribe.

Two-minute wander

New TD brand.

Join me next time when I'll be in... I don't know... Plymouth or something.

Let's get rocking.

[chassamui]

You lied. 2.37 minutes!
Was that the same route where the pro racer crashed and died recently?

Uphill shit? WTF?

I did a battlefield tour not far from there and I nearly missed it because I was pissed the night before.

My new, (used) bike is a Giant.

[blue]

That continental grub makes Weatherspoons stodge look healthy.
1950's style before they discovered fiber...

[somtamslap]

Was that the same route where the pro racer crashed and died recently?

It was, yes. Motos keep crashing into the peloton and knocking riders over. Think new laws will be introduced after yesterday.

My new, (used) bike is a Giant.

Road or mountain? I was lucky enough to do the event - about 160kms of it - on a Cannondale synapse, custom-designed for the cobbled classics. Took a bit of a pounding but it was a comfortable ride - especially when the 30mph wind was at my back, when it was at my front, however, it was a twat. Ferry crossing on the way back was choppy to say the least.

That continental grub makes Weatherspoons stodge look healthy.

It was a reasonable breakfast - courtesy of the Ibis Hotel in Kortrijk.

The steak was a bit rubbish though.

[kingwilly]

Interesting.

critique 1. - needs commentary. (the random rubbish french accent of "Un waffle" at 1.41 does not count.

critique 2. - fade in and out of scenes instead of jumping.

critique 3. - Some headings/titles would be handy.

Overall, looked good. And at 2 mins and 37 is not too long to be boring.

[chassamui]

Willy Tarantino strikes again.

The Giant is an MTB. Base model Rincon with disc brakes. Had my eye on a Cannondale but it belonged to the hire shop boss. 7k Baht was a good deal for me.

[somtamslap]

critique 1. - needs commentary. (the random rubbish french accent of "Un waffle" at 1.41 does not count.

It probably does. But my plan when creating this shite video was speed, and commentary would have messed up its fluidity (if it had any in the first place).

Back to the drawing board.

The Giant is an MTB

Keep her greased up, Chaz. I trust you'll be taking part in the Great Teakdoor Bike Ride of 2017/18?

[klong toey]

I found it very disturbing that breakfast was taken without alcohol.
The anal intercourse scene needs tweaking lot's of grunting but no close up shots.

[blue]

I want my money back
i thought it was one of these speeded up things
but instead of going to faggy Brighton, going somewhere decent ie anywhere else..
Great how they synced the 2 sides, or is that simple .

[Chittychangchang]

That grunting and straining at 1.48 is not a good advertisement for le waffle

Nice final shot of the Landrover on the recovery vehicle, brings back memories.

[chassamui]

Keep her greased up, Chaz. I trust you'll be taking part in the Great Teakdoor Bike Ride of 2017/18?

Apart from clashing with passport renewal and a possible date with a crematorium, yes.

[somtamslap]

I found it very disturbing that breakfast was taken without alcohol.

You'll be pleased to know that I drank no less than 5 pints of Stella of the Artois persuasion while crossing back over from Calais to Dover. And I wasn't even sick. Tough eh?

but instead of going to faggy Brighton,

Brighton? What are you talking about? I only go there in secret on every third Thursday of the month with a suitcase of dildos. Don't tell anyone though.

That grunting and straining at 1.48 is not a good advertisement for le waffle

Le waffle was stale and horrible, but alas, the pick of the 'feed zone'.

Apart from clashing with passport renewal and a possible date with a crematorium, yes.

You'll be there, Chaz. It's gonna be the best thing ever.

[baldrick]

a french language video about sharing a room with 2 other blokes and whole lot of grunting

is there something you are trying to tell us ?

[klong toey]

crossing back over from Calais to Dover. And I wasn't even sick. Tough eh?

If you took the crossing yesterday,yes.

[patsycat]

The grunting was the best bit, and the white cliffs of Dover. Which i haven't seen since Sleazyjet started flying.