Living in a small state in the US, the Thai community is very small here (maybe 200 to 300 people total). We’ve met Thais from different regions, social classes, etc. Here has been our experience in general.
Thai men, whether they came here to study, work as laborers, or work in office jobs, all seem to be normal, stand-up guys. Without the language barrier and stigma attached with being seen in the company of a foreigner that a Thai man would have in Thailand, you understand why Thai women prefer them over us. They have been raised since birth to understand their role in relationship with Thai women and can pick up on non-verbal communication and understand the nuance in their spouses word choice a lot better than we can. Some of the biggest arguments I’ve had with my wife have been simple misunderstandings that are blown out of proportion because I didn’t understand the Thai style of communication. I was doing a straight translation of Thai without understanding the connotations of what she said. I seriously don’t know how people who don’t speak or understand Thai are able to have a lasting relationship. It may work in Thailand, where your wife can express herself to other Thai women, but in a western country, most of her friends will speak English.
Which is the next category, other Thai women. Maybe 1 or 2 we met have been normal.
The Bangkok girls who are here temporarily to study seem OK, but my wife has the feeling they look down on her (or are a bit distant) because she is from Isaan. She finished her undergrad studies in Bangkok like them, but she doesn’t come from money. Thailand is still a very class conscious society. No surprise to anyone from a country like England, but something Americans should keep in mind.
The ones that are farang chasers, for lack of a better term, are not “real Thais” as my wife puts it. I’ve never met a bigger collection of backstabbing, lying flakes in my whole life. When she was working part time at a Thai restaurant, this one lady would brag about how she never needed a ride to work because she could always find a man to drop her off. The one time I met her, she was eyeing me up the same way a bargirl in Pattaya does. Another one was so full of shit. She would brag about being friends with Thaksin and Obama. Some other ones were hardcore gambling addicts. They weren’t even blackjack card counters or poker players either. They would just piss their money away on slot machines. All of them seem to be ridiculously petty. If someone buys a new car, it isn’t “congratulations.” It is more like “why don’t I have a new car. Who does she think she is.” It’s like junior high school. The wife is pissed at me because now she is lumped in with all of these people when she visits Thailand because she married a foreigner. She said, thank god you aren’t a dark skinned Indian, because I would be too embarrassed to go home if you were. I don’t think she is joking either.
Because she speaks English with an accent, most American women have a patronizing attitude towards her (speaking ridiculously slow, complementing her on what you would complement a child for). She does her best to avoid Koreans for some reason. Never got the details, but just a general they are “strange people. Don’t like talking to them.”
Most of her female friends are other immigrants from China, India, or South America in a similar situation to her.
What has been your experience with Thais in your home country? Similar? Completely different?