05-01-2010, 11:15 AM
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Last Online: Today 10:17 AM Join Date: Nov 2008
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| Darwin awards 2009.
here we go again, Man's stupidity never ceases to amaze me. The Darwin Awards Quote: Bungling bank robbers top Darwin Awards
Money withdrawn from an automated teller machine / AP Source: AP
- Blast destroys building ATM was housed in
- First woman nominated came in third place
TWO bank robbers who blew themselves up trying to make a sizable withdrawal from an ATM have been declared the 2009 winners of the Darwin Awards - while the first woman to be nominated came in third.
Organisers say the annual "prize" is given to "those doing the most to improve the human gene pool ... by removing themselves from it".
This year the dubious first place went to the pair of bungling thieves in Belgium who wildly overestimated the amount of dynamite they needed to rob a bank.
They both were killed when the blast demolished the entire building the ATM was housed in.
Police only found the body of the second robber some twelve hours after digging through the debris. They had initially assumed he had made a getaway.
The bankrobbers just edged ahead of Florida man Shawn Motero, who was stuck in a traffic jam when nature called.
He got out of his car and jumped over a concrete wall to find a more secluded spot.
Unfortunately, the 30-year-old had not realized he was on a bridge and fell 65ft (19.8m) to his death.
Award organisers said the accident proved you should "look before you leak".
Police revealed Mr Motero had been drinking at a bar in Pompano Beach before his tragic death, adding: 'He probably thought there was a road, but there wasn't.'
The first woman to be nominated for the award came in at third place.
Rosanne Tippett drove her moped through a police road block - straight into a flooded river.
After being rescued by police she jumped back into the water to rescue her vehicle - and drowned.
Before embarking on her final journey the 50-year-old had phoned her mother and told her: "My moped has two rubber wheels, Mom, I'll be fine."
Her mum later admitted: "She loved that thing."
Other nominees for the 2009 awards included an armed robber who used gold spray paint to disguise his face as he raided a convenience store.
The paint released toxic fumes and Thomas James, from South Carolina, collapsed and died shortly after the robbery.
To add insult to injury, the disguise didn't work - with witnesses having no problem identifying the 23-year-old.
| And in Asia Quote:
most dim-witted criminals. 1. Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: Getaway car too small for heist
A lesson in the importance of planning ahead: Two Malaysians stole US$1.3 million but had to leave half of it behind because their van was too small to stash the loot. “The bags are quite big. I consider them quite stupid. Their planning was very shortsighted,” said the deputy police chief, Shakaruddin Che Mood.
2. Kemaman, Malaysia: Spirit imprisons burglar for three days
Who needs a home alarm when you’ve got a ghoul for security? A Malaysian couple returned from vacation to find a serial burglar lying on their floor, famished, dehydrated and clasping his hands in apology. The criminal insisted that after he broke into the house, a spirit blinded him and would not let him move or scream for 72 hours.
3. Hubei province, China: Robber flushes diamond rings down the toilet
Zhou broke into a wealthy home and found two huge diamond rings. He decided they were too good to be true, so, like anyone with half a brain (yes, only half) he flushed them down the toilet. The robber didn’t realize that the jewels were real until after he was caught. Poor thing was “unable to stop sighing repeatedly.”
4. Ningbo, China: Persistent burglar hides under bed for two days
Burglar Li is not one to give up easily. He snuck into a woman’s apartment and found nothing of value. So he hid under her bed for two days, surviving on the sole apple in her fridge, until she returned. Li waited until she was asleep, stole her cell and money… and was promptly arrested.
5. Laohekou, China: Drive-by robber nabs dog poo
Mrs Chen was waiting to withdraw money when her dog needed to deposit a “number two.” She wrapped up his business in newspaper and was ready to throw it away when two motorcyclists screeched to a halt, wrestled the warm package from her grasp and sped away. Police investigated the case while “laughing at the stupidity of the robbers.”
6. Shanghai, China: Man tries to avoid his nagging wife by getting arrested
29 year-old Linghua Wong decided the only way to escape his wife’s hen-pecking was by going to jail. Wong walked into a police station and lied about robbing someone, but authorities refused to believe him. He tried pointing a toy gun at a taxi driver, but the cabbie screamed and scared him away. After multiple bungles, Wong finally achieved his goal. He was locked away from his wife for four years.
7. Fujian, China: Suspect tries to avoid jail by faking a coma
The day before his trial, a suspected rapist named Chen collapsed into unconsciousness. Doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong until a surgeon loudly announced he was about to poke Chen with an XXL needle. The patient’s face twitched and moments later, he “miraculously” stood up.
8. Kumagaya, Japan: Bank robber asks for instructions and stabs self
A would-be robber went up to a teller and stammered, “Any idea how you rob a bank?” The staff asked the man to leave, and he meekly obeyed, but not before accidentally stabbing himself in the leg with his own knife.
9. Fukuoka, Japan: Thief caught while trying to undo his Spidey suit
A resident returned to find a man dressed as Spider Man jumping out of his house. Police nabbed him as he struggled to remove his costume, which included pink arm warmers and a woman’s swimsuit.
10. Pakistan: Passport forger busted due to spelling mistakes
Fazal Ur Rehman’s passport was a perfect copy. The only problem was the stamps had glaring spelling errors, such as “menistry” and “goverment.” The Pakistani national was sentenced to eight months in jail for forgery. I hope he used the time to study the dictionary.
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