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Missismiggins

During the North African Campaign,
a bunch of soldier boys had been on a long hike,
and they arrived in a little town called Casino.
The next morning, being Sunday,several of the boys went to church.
A Sargent commanded the boys in church,
and after the chaplain had read the prayer,
the text was taken up next.
Those of the boys who had a prayer books took them out,
but, this one boy had only a deck of cards,
and so he spread them out.
The Seargent saw the cards and said, "Soldier, put away those cards".
After the services were over, the soldier was taken prisoner,
and brought before the Provost Marshall.
The marshall said " Sergeant, why have you brought this man here?"
"For playing cards in church Sir."
"And what have you to say for yourself Son?"
"Much, Sir," replied the soldier.
The marshall said, " I hope so, for if not,
I shall punish you more than any man was ever punished."
The soldier said, "Sir, I have been on the march for about six days,
I have neither Bible nor prayerbook, but I hope to satisfy you, Sir,
with the purity of my intentions."
And with that, the boy started his story.


"You see sir, when I look at the ace, I see but one accident, usually outlined on the ground as a dead person sprawled out in an impossible position

it reminds me that there is but one God,and he has the final say!

When I see the deuce, I see the two white paint strips that mark a two wheeled motorbike, it also that reminds me that the bible is divided
into two parts, the old and the new testament. The good luck and the bad! - but either way, they had it coming!

When I see the trey, I think thank the lord for this multiple collision! maybe a three wheeled invalid carriage.

And when I see the four,I think of the four Evangelists who preached the Gospel There was Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.And four sets of white paint

markings mean there was obviously something big going down...like some idiot braked and the following cars were asleep as they collided.

And when I see the five, it reminds me of the five wise virgins who trimmed their lamps, there were ten of them, But none of them would get on a bus

from Chiang Mai to Bangkok, so it only left 5, and only one made it, and she wasn't a virgin for more than a day..

When I see the six, it reminds me that in six days,usualy during Song Krahn, at least three hundred will die, thank you oh lord!

When I see the seven, it reminds me that there is obviously a motorbike involved or a pedestrian, cars have equal numbers of wheels. a multiple

collision! Praise god!

And when I see the eight, I think of the eight wheels, two cars or 4 motorbikes or their combinations that came together to make this carnage tonight!

And when I see the nine, I think of the nine white paint marks on the road that depict two cars in a multiple hit, with one dead pedestrian.

When I see the ten, I think of the ten commandments,God handed down to Moses on a table of stone. "HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU TO LOOK WHERE YOU

ARE GOING, if I have told you once, I have told you TEN TIMES! "SLOW DOWN!" Fuckwit!

When I see the king, it reminds me that there is but one King of Heaven, cough cough!!! I feel a bit of LM here..best not go down that road again...

And when I see the Queen, I think of the Blessed Virgin Mary, (and all those weight loss pills a million baht could buy!)
Who is Queen of Heaven, and the Jack of Knaves (Thaksin) is the Devil. (living and advising Cambodia!)

When I count the number of spots in a deck of cards, I get acne, but, I find 365, the number of days in a year. or the ammount of road deaths in

Thailand during song Kran.

There are 52 cards, the number of weeks in a year, or the same number of road kill in Chiang Mai in a month.

There are four suits, the number of weeks in a month, or the expected new white paint marks on the road in the morning.

There are twelve picture cards, the number of months in a year, and the same number of road deaths in a day in your average province.

There are thirteen tricks, the number of weeks in a quarter. And the same ammount of tricks you can find in an average bar in the provinces.

So, you see Sir, my pack of cards serves me as a Bible,
an Almanac, and a prayerbook, and a death toll record for Thailand!
And Friends, the story is true, I know,
I was that soldier.