'Awkward' moments at work

[panama hat]

My forgetfulness has been well documented here but there is another aspect of Mr Hat that is close to legendary in certain circles.

I thought it may be funny or interesting to share some awkward or idiotic or embarrassing moments we've had at work. (not an original idea)

Too many to mention, really . . .

A harmless one:

We had a very top-level meeting with NTT in Tokyo a few years back . . . my division's CEO flew in from California along with some head guys from New Jersey. I was there as VP APAC and two other VPs of their respective divisions. The NTT side was stacked with old, unsmiling gents.

Everything was going well, I made my presentation and sat down again while thanking them for their attention.

Problem was that my chair was on wheels and I sat on the armrest, the chair flipped and I crashlanded against the screen and ripped it down with me before whacking the chair against the tea trolley laden with coffee and cakes . . . which, in turn, did a leaning tower of Pisa before slowly tipping over.

The unsmiling Japanese gentlemen laughed it off quite tactfully and apologised profusely for the chair.

I do Love the Japanese!

[The Fresh Prince]

A few years ago both my secretarys took a holiday together in Phuket.

When they got back I bounced into the office and said "Hi guys!! hope you had fun on your week off lazing around the beach all day!!!!" (with a big grin on my face)

Her reply (with a stern look on her face) "Khun TFP, we were down there helping to clear up the dead bodies after the tsunami"

There was a long silence after that.

RIP to all those who didn't survive

[English Noodles]

Smug Farang Bore will back me up on this one. There was a guy who had a few to drink in Bangkok, he turned up for his high level meeting/presentation with some Oil/Gas companies, did his meeting and presentation only to realise when he went to the toilet that he had a cock and bollocks drawn in felt pen on the top of his balding head.

Smug Farang Bore will be able to give you a better and more acurate account of the story, but that is the jist of it.

[kingwilly]

^^ Oh Ouch!

[English Noodles]

^^^But was it 'sanook' - who says tsunamis have to be depressing?

[panama hat]

There was a long silence after that.

Oh dear . . .

he had a cock and bollocks drawn in felt pen on the top of his balding head.

[slimboyfat]

I was caught having a wank once by the ships chief officer when he barged into my cabin at lunchtime to give me a job list for the afternoon.

That was slightly awkward.

[JoeMoer]

Should have asked for a leading hand.

[panama hat]

Did he offer to give you a hand?

[English Noodles]

I was caught having a wank once by the ships chief officer when he barged into my cabin at lunchtime to give me a job list for the afternoon.

Should have told him you were mustering up some more semen to give you a hand.

[the dogcatcher]

I managed to set fire to a waste paper bin 5 seconds before The Director General of The B.B.C. walked in on an inspection. Fuck knows how I kept my job there.

[chitown]

I was having a "private" meeting with my wife (now ex) after hours in my office in Chicago when the cleaning lady used her pass key to come in.

I left my building and saw two guys mugging a man. I began to pummel both of them only to find out that it was the 1 guy that had tried to rob the two with a knife. The two guys I was busy beating up were the victims.

I viciously accused a worker of stealing petty cash (3500 US) from the office only to find out it was my wife (again an ex) that took it to give to her lazy brother.

My company had a crew working on a 6 flat apartment building that was owned by one of my biggest clients. I was talking to him in the back yard when one of my roofers fell off the roof. He landed on his back on some electrical wires which sprung him into the air. Then he bounced down a series of tree limbs and landed on a small roof over an entrance door. He then rolled off and landed at our feet. He quickly jumped up, brushed himself off and pulled a bottle of gin out of his jacket and offered me a drink.

[the dogcatcher]

Apparently I was found laying in a puddle of my own vomit on the aft deck of a superyacht I was first mate on.
I don't remember a thing but I was sacked in the morning.
Must have been The Soberano.

[barbaro]

One time, while working at Burger King, I put 4 cheeseburgers in hamburger wrappers.

My manager Clay, asked rhetorically, "What's going on, here?"

[Moonraker]

When working at burger whilst at college, I once played a joke on the shift manager by hiding the safe key from him.

I was expecting him to go looking for it to count the days takings, giving us all a giggle, but unknown to me this task had already been done and so he never noticed that it had gone.

I forgot all about it and got an angry call at 1 PM the next day, a Saturday, asking where the key was because they could not open without the till floats. They couldn't open until 2 PM on Saturday, their busiest day of the week.

INSTANT DISMISSAL, doh!!!