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  1. #1
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    Happyman's Avatar
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    Aircraft incidents that made me smile !

    Not sure if this is the correct place for this but I have been involved with Aircraft incidents and later, stupid insurance claims for many years and still there are things that make me smile when I remember them.
    There will be a couple of totally avoidable fatalities as well but they are so incredibly stupid you have to smile .

    If the mod agrees then I will start off with one that had me tearing my hair out !

    Please add any that you have seen or been involved in

    Your starter !

    If a prop driven aircraft touches the ground with the prop on landing the aircraft is said to have had a 'shock stop' incident and is grounded until the engine is completely dismantled , checked and rebuilt.
    It also has to be reported to the local /national civil aviation authorities and the official paperwork done for the re certification and also for the insurance claim.

    Scenario
    A student pilot at a Malaysian 'porpoised' on landing in a Cessna 147 and broke the prop .
    I was called in by the local CAA and the insurers to complete the reams of paperwork to get things sorted out .

    Service records - no problem
    Proposed flight plan - no problem
    Pilot and instructors log book - no problem
    Pilot and instructors licence - no problem - well with the instructors anyway !
    There was no way that the flying school or the student would release any details of that licence ????
    ' Yes she had one' I was told but they were not going to release any details !!
    After a few weeks the insurers and the CAA were starting to give me a bit of stick so I got a court order demanding that details were made available .
    After a 2 month delay the case came up - and it was held in 'camera' and I was not admitted .
    The judgement came down that everything was in order and I could proceed !! WTF ???

    'heventually ( Manuel - Fawlty Towers) after another month of 'toing and froing' through contacts in the flying school business- I found out that the student was a close relative of the current Agong ( king on a rotational basis) - the judge was her brother and the silly bat didn't want details released as it would show her age!

    'Face' is endemic in the East !
    Was ordered to push it through at the risk of my work permit and my chums at Lloyds in London ( the re-insurers ) agreed .
    I got the last laugh though .
    The cheeky buggers at the flying school , as they had repaired the plane, claimed 3 months lost income due to not being able to re certify the thing while the dispute was going on !

    No bleedin chance



    If any response - gorra shit load more !

  2. #2
    I am no longer a Hostage

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    Give us the shitload

  3. #3
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    Yes come dump your load on us, the closest Ive come to flying was falling off the roof of my house.
    The floor is yours

  4. #4
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    Look forward to some more of your anecdotes

  5. #5
    Tiger Bay
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    You've heard the one about the guy who insured his Cuban cigars against fire....

    Yep, I'm sure you have.

  6. #6
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    The father of a friend of mine was a larrikan, gold prospector and a pilot. He had found some gold somewhere and wanted to show his business partner. He had already had a few run in with the CAA but was never fazed so he didn't think twice about not filing a flight plan as he wanted to keep his gold fine a secret. He took off as not wanted anyone to contact him and ask him where he was going he turned his radio off. As he took off people on the ground saw fuel spewing from the plane so they tried to contact him to tell him to turn around and land but of course his radio was off.
    The get about 150kms out of town roughly following the highway before he runs out of fuel and crash lands. The plane is totalled but the two men are okay so they get out and cross over to a mountain range to the highway.
    By this time the CAA has been notified and a major search is getting underway back in town. The men reach the road and catch a lift with the first car that comes along. The car takes drops them off outside the airport and they both walk into the terminal take a look at the chaos going on around them and nonchalantly ask 'hey, whats going on?'
    News is what someone, somewhere is trying to suppress - everything else is just advertising.

  7. #7
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    Ok !
    Another Malaysian one !

    Scenario
    Ipoh Airport - privately owned Cessna 147 ( yep another one! ) was experiencing voltage drop from the battery charging system .

    The aircraft was rolled out of the hangar and parked up on the immaculate grass apron - was as smooth and flat as a golf putting green - and the brakes locked on.
    The mechanic came out and started the engine after connecting his test ammeter to the circuit.
    To adjust the charge rate the little electronic gizmo had to be tinkered with but it was down under the dash by the foot controls.
    This is (according to the service manual) a compulsary 2 man job but his buddy had not turned up that day so the smartarse decided to do it by himself.
    So here we have him with his ammeter on the floor and him lying upside down in the pilots seat with his feet in the air.
    Reaching behind him to blip the throttle all seemed to be ok !
    This was when it went all pear-shaped!
    First of all he had forgotten to chock the wheels and second it was raining hard.
    As he ran the engine up the wheels started sliding on the wet grass a few feet with every 'blip'.
    Job done he gave it a final burst of power and the plane gathered speed , still with wheels locked, hit and totalled a microlight, finally ramming the chainlink fence at about 20 mph with him struggling to get out of the footwell !!

    Oh dear !

    Had to turn that claim down under the operational malpractice clause but did pay up for the third party ( the microlight !) and the damage to the fence

  8. #8
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    Got another 3 or 4 Malaysian ones and then, if you want, we can take a trip down memory lane to Africa.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happyman View Post
    Got another 3 or 4 Malaysian ones and then, if you want, we can take a trip down memory lane to Africa.
    Lets go then.

  10. #10
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    Experimental Aircraft Association .

    Malaysia - once again !

    During the early 90's when Mad Mat - oops sorry - Matahir Bin Mohamad - was the prime minister of Malaysia and was pumping vast amounts of cash into turning Malaysia into a modern state - one of his projects was to encourage an embryonic aircraft industry .
    A state sponsored Experimental Aircraft Association was set up at the old KL airport in the city centre ( now Selangor Flying Club ) and engineering students were encouraged to join.
    As a start they were provided with 2 Zenith Zodiac kits and a couple of retired Malaysian Airforce engineers as instructors - yep - they were going to build their own planes.
    As the only resident experienced light aircraft insurance adjuster in KL I was appointed as the poor sod who had to organise the policy that would be placed with the Malaysian National Insurance Group.
    As this was the first time that anything like this had been done in Malaysia they wanted an 'all singing /all dancing' policy that would cover everything.
    After many hours of midnight oil burning the wording was finally approved - it included elements of damage to components during construction, accidental damage from any cause, third party cover etc etc - a bloody nightmare.
    Then the bombshell was dropped on my desk !
    I was appointed as the government contracted administrator!

    This was where the fun started !

    Malaysian thinking at the time (and still is as far as I know ) was to give preference in all things to native Malays (bumiputra) so the result was there were keen and enthusiastic Chinese/Indian Malaysians wanting to join but 90% who were allowed to were bumis who were actually being paid to join!
    Most of them had never been near an aeroplane and didn't know which end of a hammer you hit with .

    The attrition rate of damaged components during assembly was amazing - holes drilled in the wrong place, panels bent the wrong way, bits lost!- canopy dropped and broken, wing spars deliberately twisted 'cos they didn't line up with the holes they had drilled etc etc
    All were covered by the policy and new parts ordered.
    At one time during the assembly of the wing of the first one they were buggering the parts up quicker than the factory in the States could supply them.

    The first one was completed in time for display at the opening of the New KL Airport at Sepang - problem - No C of A.
    No problem take it there on a truck !

    Errr ! Halfway there it fell off when a strong gust of wind caught it ( 27ft span and weighing 600kg) and was immediatly hit by the coach full of the Association members following it !

    Totalled!

    The second one was finally completed and amazingly passed the Cof A ground inspection .
    Now was the big day !
    First flight !
    Dignitaries ( including Mad Mat) gathered to watch .
    A brave ( or stupid) airforce test pilot was strapped in and it took off like a dream.
    The plan was - takeoff- turn - do a low level flypast- turn and land.
    All was well up to the flypast but on the final turn the little Rotax engine spluttered and died.

    Landed straight and level about 1 km from the runway in the middle of the old Chinese graveyard ( very appropriate) hit a grave and turned turtle .

    Totalled!

    Pilot just had a few bumps and bruises.

    Investigations into cause found that the nipple (cheeky) on the throttle cable ( just like a motorbike ) had pulled off!

    The project was then closed down.


  11. #11
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    Great stuff, keep em coming

  12. #12
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    Tragic not amusing- though a slight ironic smile my be in order when you consider the absolute stupidity of the pilot

    Yet another Cessna- cant remember the exact model.

    A wealthy young Indian Malay got his flying licence and bought his own plane.
    Over the next year or so he had few run-ins with the CAA for not posting flight plans and low flying in prohibited areas.
    Not withstanding this, the CAA licensed him to operate an air taxi service !!

    One day he was chartered by a tourist honeymooning couple to fly them from KL to the Taman Negara National park for the day. Flight plan was filed and off they went.
    When they got there the couple took a boat trip on the lake and the pilot refuelled the plane and went for a meal.

    They set off back in late afternoon and for some reason the pilot diverted from his flight plan and decided to follow the Perak river.

    This river is a large one and twists and turns through some areas of pristine rain forest.

    The Perak is prone to flash floods and there is a warning system in place to give advance notice to towns and villages down river .

    The pilot was probably showing off his low flying skills because the plane was seen flying below the level of the trees - following the course of the river.

    The flash flood warning devices consisted of a 30mm dia steel cable strung across the river from a couple of tall trees and a steel drum suspended from it just above normal river level. When a flood comes the drum floats and tips over activating a radio that starts the loudspeakers in the villages downriver to sound.

    The plane came round a bend and hit the cable at the base of the windscreen height !

    Result = wings and cabin sliced off and three people neatly cut in half ( never found the ladys torso )

    Ironic smile ?? Just what sort of a prat was the pilot ?

    We recovered the remains - plane and people - and attended the inquest .
    The ARB/CAA investigators went to the Taman Negara airstrip and found that with his meal the stupid bastard had 4 bottles of Heinekin !!!

    ---------

    Gotta scan and post some pics for the next one - probably later today .

  13. #13
    Hansum Man! panama hat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happyman
    Malaysian thinking at the time (and still is as far as I know ) was to give preference in all things to native Malays (bumiputra)
    . . . it is even more so and the results of having Malay senior management is a disaster . . .

    Culling pretty much all Indian and Chinese from government organisations has meant a decline in almost all sectors, in terms of efficiency and innovation.

    Malaysia Boleh!

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by panama hat
    Malaysia Boleh!
    I hate to correct your normal impeccable English but I have spotted a slight spelling error in your post, the sentiment of which I agree 100%.

    Boleh

    "Bol" is correct but the word actually ends with "locks" !





    Cheers !

  15. #15
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    Ahhh... Asians & technology. What a heady mix....!

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by panama hat View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Happyman
    Malaysian thinking at the time (and still is as far as I know ) was to give preference in all things to native Malays (bumiputra)
    . . . it is even more so and the results of having Malay senior management is a disaster . . .

    Culling pretty much all Indian and Chinese from government organisations has meant a decline in almost all sectors, in terms of efficiency and innovation.

    Malaysia Boleh!
    Didn't take you for a racist PH.
    "In my professional assessment as an intelligence officer, Trump has a reflexive, defensive, monumentally narcissistic personality, for whom the facts and national interest are irrelevant, and the only thing that counts is whatever gives personal advantage and directs attention to himself."

  17. #17
    Thailand Expat jandajoy's Avatar
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    One from the hosties. A true story.

    My brother has worked as a Qantas trolly dolly for many years. He witnessed this incident..


    A Qantas flight out of South Africa. Passengers all loaded, checked and cleared. Doors locked and armed. All good. Lets go to Aus.

    An hour or two into the flight meals are being served, drinks drunk, it's all good. The cabin crew get a moment to meet up in the galley and concern is expressed about the South African couple with the young baby in cattle class. Apparently the woman is being a bit of a pain. They, the flight crew, agree to monitor.

    The white wife continues to act up with continual demands and racist comments.

    Finally it peaks.

    "Steward, Steward. My baby needs changing. Please take the baby and change its diaper for me."


    Pissed off but patient, slightly vindictive, but not vengeful, the Hostie agrees.


    Sitting in business class are a young black couple with baby. They are Qantas staff on annual leave, known to the flight crew. An agreement is made.

    White baby is collected for changing by "smiling" hostie.

    Black baby is returned to white couple after a suitable delay.

    White mother freaks.

    Babies are safe.

    Babies returned to rightful mothers.

    White mother shuts the fok up for the rest of the flight.

    Initiative, in my view.

  18. #18
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    No have aeroplane ones. Got some boat ones though.

  19. #19
    Hansum Man! panama hat's Avatar
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    Not at all, Dug.

    The affirmative action plan was set into motion by the Mad Doctor, Mahatir, several decades ago whose aim was to bring the majority Malay population on par with the Indians and Chinese, in terms of wealth ownership and corporate seniority.

    Several decades later and mid-level Malays were catapulted into senior positions without the benefit of gaining the experience required to fulfil their job functions. This applied to all government and GLC areas.

    Any business to be done with these organisations has to go through Malay-owned middle-men . . . who are invariable related to politicians in one way or another.

    No need to take my word for it . . . ask anyone here who has had dealings with Malaysia . . . Happyman stated as much in his post.

    The only reason we are abe to bid for government and GLC busines is because one of our directors is a Bumiputra (son of the earth) . . . meaning Malay and Muslim.

    Racism? Yes, but on the government's part . . . whether it be lower interest rate loans for Bumis, import/export licenses and permits for certain goods and sectors, the ability to buy land wherever they wish (this is restricted for non-Malays) etc etc etc etc

  20. #20
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    ^
    the words 'nail' and 'head' seem to spring to mind here !

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by the dogcatcher
    No have aeroplane ones. Got some boat ones though.
    Go for it !!
    Too much doom and gloom around these days

    Only did insurance and aircraft for the last 15 years of working and gotta load of laughs from my 17 years in mining , muckshifting, blasting and installing big diesels !!

  22. #22
    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
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    keep up the interesting reminiscing

    Quote Originally Posted by Happyman
    Cessna 147
    went and had a look at the list as I had not heard of it - not there

    List of Cessna models - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

  23. #23
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    Got me !
    They were 170 models the four seat version of the 140 - but called he 147 in Malaysia

  24. #24
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    Sorry chaps - my scanner is not co-operating - but here is another Malaysian one .
    I am sure that you have all seen light aircraft circling around towing banners promoting something or other .
    During the Commonwealth Games in Malaysia in , I think 1998, Mad Mat decided that having a banner towing plane would be a great way of promoting ticket sales .
    There was no company in Malaysia that did this so word went out and an offer was presented by an American (ex Alaskan bush pilot) , who was just starting to set up such a business in Singapore and Indonesia. The offer was accepted and things started to push ahead.
    Regulations re work permits and licences then reared its ugly head
    Only the pilot - his plane and equipment, were allowed to enter Malaysia - and his aircraft mechanic.
    Cant remember what plane it was - Baker- Barker -Bakker something like that - a specialist built craft for the job -high wing monoplane with a monster large engine.
    His experienced ground crew were refused entry as they were Indonesian and the base they would be workin from was the Selangor flying club which was also a Malaysian Airforce airfield (the same as the Experimental Association in a previous post)
    I fixed up the short term insurance and he arrived.

    Planes don't just take off towing the banner .

    A couple of poles are set up either side of the runway with the banner attachment strung between them on pegs facing the direction of flight .
    Th plane takes off and does a circuit lowering a grapnel . As it approaches the banner line the plane flies low and grabs the banner line with the grapnel and , with a fistful of power ( hence the big engine) picks it up and off he goes.

    He had practised with Malaysian Airforce personel acting as banner ground crew and then came the big day !
    The ground crew were ready and the pilot was 'hot to trot'.
    It was a bit windy and as he approached the pickup line it blew off the pegs !!
    Another circuit and the same thing happened.
    The head honcho of the Airforce seconded ground crew then had a flash pass between the vacant space separating his two brain cells !

    TURN THE POLES AROUND AND THEY WON'T BLOW OFF!!
    Wey Hey !!

    Minions duly did that and the pilot was told "all OK !"

    You are all there already

    Grapnel picked up the line - banner was lifted together with two steel poles all the guy lines for them and the bloody tent pegs holding them down .
    An enormous amount of power was asked from the engine and it left the field with a tangled mass of banner, steel posts and associated bits and bobs hanging off the back .
    He banked to the left at about 100 ft and the mass of crap hit a tombstone in the local Chinese graveyard and was ripped off together with a skin panel and some rudder control bits from the plane ( Yes! The same graveyard where the second Zodiac came to grief )
    The pilot applied full flaps and stalled it about 30 ft up at around 40 knots - and dropped the plane onto a school football field !!!

    Claim was paid (on government orders) aircraft was shipped back to the States for repair, the pilot, Aaron Jones ?, myself and my assistants got outrageously pissed with him for the next couple of days while he was waiting to get the mess sorted out !
    As he said , and I fully believe him , if it wasn't for being a bush pilot for 10 years before he would have been up with the angels !

    PS - He couldn't release the mess as soon as it happened as the grapnel release was a manual lever and with the excess weight it wouldn't move !
    Last edited by Happyman; 01-10-2009 at 12:41 AM.

  25. #25
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    Nice thread. Wonder what the story behind this one is (the filename of the pic is Aussiepropellorstory)...


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