Do Single Women Seek Attached Men?

[robuzo]

Something I think a lot of us have long suspected.
Do Single Women Seek Attached Men? - TierneyLab Blog - NYTimes.com

Researchers have debated for years whether men or women are likelier to engage in “mate poaching.” Some surveys indicated that men had a stronger tendency to go after other people’s partners, but was that just because men were more likely to admit engaging in this behavior? Now there’s experimental evidence that single women are particularly drawn to other people’s partners, according to a report in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology by two social psychologists, Melissa Burkley and Jessica Parker of Oklahoma State University.

Noting that single women often complain that “all the good men are taken,” the psychologists wondered if “this perception is really based on the fact that taken men are perceived as good."

[Dan]

I had a look at the research:

The sample consisted of 184 undergraduates (97 women) from Oklahoma State University, with 46% of the sample identified as single (35 women, 49 men) and 54% as attached (62 women, 38 men).

That doesn't sound like a very representative sample of humanity. How valid are claims about 'men' and 'women' which aren't hedged with reference to the socio-economic background of the research sample?

[chassamui]

Grass is greener, forbidden fruit and all that? Maybe it is just human nature to want more of something good.
I am very lucky and have a gf who adores and dotes on me. Nothing too much trouble. Her main purpose in life seems to be my happiness.
I still look at other pretty women and think, i wouldn't mind some of that. Crude i know, but also true.

[mooncake]

I think in the idealistic world, it does makes sense that… women naturally would be looking for someone who will protect and provide for the family. And married men have demonstrated that he can commit to those, so therefore they must be “good men”.

But in the real world....
“Some” women… just want what they can’t not have. The idea of winning a married man by enticing him to cheat on his wife seems to appeal to some disturbed women out there.
And in most cases like this, I would say….it’s all about the money “most likely” as a motive.

And married men who’re still playing around, is a “big turn-off” for me really.

[robuzo]

I'm not suggesting we get into a contentious debate about the validity of an obviously very limited study. I'm more curious about how the conclusions square with the experiences of people who post here.

[Panda]

Have had a few come-ons from some of the wifes Thai friends over the years. All but one of them were married though. Never took up any of the offers because the Missus always picked up on the vibes too.

[robuzo]

Have had a few come-ons from some of the wifes Thai friends over the years. All but one of them were married though. Never took up any of the offers because the Missus always picked up on the vibes too.

My Missus seems to pick up on those vibes even when so far as I can tell they don't exist.

[Dan]

Have I been hit on by single women since I got married? A couple of times. I'm pretty sure it's happened with less regularity since I got married but then I've also got older, uglier, poorer, and more misanthropic so it's not too surprising.

[kingwilly]

I'm not suggesting we get into a contentious debate about the validity of an obviously very limited study. I'm more curious about how the conclusions square with the experiences of people who post here.

I experienced that, a wedding ring is like a chick magnet....

[kingwilly]

I'm not suggesting we get into a contentious debate about the validity of an obviously very limited study. I'm more curious about how the conclusions square with the experiences of people who post here.

in fact, so much so, after I got divorced, I kept my ring on....

[reinvented]

what was that line from the departed
a wedding ring proves that your not that much of an arsehole because at least one woman will put up with you

[robuzo]

Have I been hit on by single women since I got married? A couple of times. I'm pretty sure it's happened with less regularity since I got married but then I've also got older, uglier, poorer, and more misanthropic so it's not too surprising.

I've noticed that myself- was hoping to put it down to the fierce nature of my Thai better half, but it is more likely the factors you note above.

[PlanK]

Have had a few come-ons from some of the wifes Thai friends over the years. All but one of them were married though. Never took up any of the offers because the Missus always picked up on the vibes too.

My Missus seems to pick up on those vibes even when so far as I can tell they don't exist.

Same with my ex, she was amazing. She could pick up those vibes from phone conversations I'd had when she wasn't even present, with someone she'd never met!

[robuzo]

Have had a few come-ons from some of the wifes Thai friends over the years. All but one of them were married though. Never took up any of the offers because the Missus always picked up on the vibes too.

My Missus seems to pick up on those vibes even when so far as I can tell they don't exist.

Same with my ex, she was amazing. She could pick up those vibes from phone conversations I'd had when she wasn't even present, with someone she'd never met!

Amazing, it's like ESP or something.

[mooncake]

Just wish we have more women here, this thread could be more interesting...

[patsycat]

Yes, I have been attracted to married men - but at the time I did not know they were married. When I found out that they were - I made a quick exit. Having been married to a cheating bastard, I know what it feels like. And I would not like to put any woman through what I went through.

[baldrick]

And married men who’re still playing around, is a “big turn-off” for me really.

so unmarried men playing around is ok ?

[Butterfly]

married men don't cheat, they have a god given right to fool around

women like security, and a married man is a form of security, even though it's not really, but in a woman logic it is

[Rural Surin]

I think in the idealistic world, it does makes sense that… women naturally would be looking for someone who will protect and provide for the family. And married men have demonstrated that he can commit to those, so therefore they must be “good men”.

But in the real world....
“Some” women… just want what they can’t not have. The idea of winning a married man by enticing him to cheat on his wife seems to appeal to some disturbed women out there.
And in most cases like this, I would say….it’s all about the money “most likely” as a motive.

And married men who’re still playing around, is a “big turn-off” for me really.

Real world. Be rather difficult to ascertain as to what standard one would use when refering to what real might be. Practice might suggest that for every situation a cycle of diversity exist. Linear persuasions being a key element.

[Peta]

Not interested in attached men. Number of reasons. If he is willing to play around on his gf/wife with me, then even if he decides he is serious about me, and leaves his gf/wife for me, chances are he could just as easily do the same thing to me later on. Another reason, i dont like those kinds of girls who seem to think that everything in this world is for the taking, including other womens men. So, i wouldnt want to be one of them. Again, even with women around like that, men should know themselves what is the right thing to do.

So no, i dont make a play for attached men, and men who are attached who make a play for me, arent worth my time. Creeps!

[dizzy]

It ain't cool to play in someone else's sandbox.

[baldrick]

is there something wrong with gratuitous fcuking for the fun of it ?

[Fabian]

I'm not suggesting we get into a contentious debate about the validity of an obviously very limited study. I'm more curious about how the conclusions square with the experiences of people who post here.

I experienced that, a wedding ring is like a chick magnet....

Never worked for me (when I was married to the ex of course).

[DrAndy]

is there something wrong with gratuitous fcuking for the fun of it ?

depends on how good you are

[DrivingForce]

is there something wrong with gratuitous fcuking for the fun of it ?

That's another reason, the perception correctly or not, of 'safe' sex..