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  1. #1
    Thailand Expat
    hooter's Avatar
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    Squat/Dunny/Bog/Horng Nahm.

    That's not a toilet. It's a hole in the ground!
    As long as you restrict yourself to upscale western-style hotels and shops, you may never see a squat toilet in Thailand. But what's the fun of that? You can get the same experience at Disney World. If you venture off the well-beaten tourist path, be ready to greet squat toilets with more than the comment above.
    Traditional Thai toilets (like those in most parts of Asia, the Middle East, and — once — Europe) consist of a hole in the floor and the necessary accoutrements. In Thailand, a white porcelain plate generally surrounds the hole, with two slightly raised footprints. Adding to the experience, the porcelain plate frequently carries the brand name "American Standard," however unstandard such items may be in the America you so fondly remember when you first encounter a squat toilet.
    You stand on the footprints, pull down your pants, and squat, trying to line up the relevant holes; this alignment gets easier with experience.
    It also gets easier, with experience, to keep your pants out of harm's way. The first few times, it may be simplest to just take them off. At first, you'll probably also need to hold on to something with one hand to steady yourself.
    In traditional squat toilets, a barrel of clean water sits beside the toilet. People use this water (a ladle or bowl floats inside) and their left hand to clean themselves, then empty a few more scoops of water into the toilet until all traces of their visit disappear. The water barrel is gradually replenished from a spring or brook (or from a faucet, if available), and this water remains pure. Wash your hands by ladling water over them, outside the barrel. Nothing dirty should ever be put into the barrel.
    More likely, you'll choose to carry a packet of tissue with you. In this case, note that Thai plumbing often cannot accommodate toilet paper without clogging. In many toilets (including western-style toilets), you'll spot a nearby wastebasket for used tissue. Please use it! No, this isn't what you were taught growing up, but you were taught to treat your hosts with respect, weren't you? That means not clogging their toilet.

    The above was ripped/stolen from a seppo website just to set the scene.

    I always find the squat toilet somewhat entertaining as the only time I ever seem use them is when I'm in the village or whilst having a raging emergency bout of the 'Aztec Two Step.'

    Which brings me on too there useage, in the village they are normally in a tin hut with a pitched roof, sloping from high at the centre point to low where the old squat is located in one corner. Now I aint the tallest of falang but I am still a good 6ft, number 1's are easy I can piss from the door entrance and still hit the the hole from a good 2 meter's, number 2's on the other hand can be somewhat challenging crouched low to avoid banging me head and also trying to aim the copper log or god knows what away from me undies and trouser pockets into the oblivion.

    I really do dread using a squat, but when nature calls choices are limited.

    Is it just me?
    Landlubber.

  2. #2
    Out there...
    StrontiumDog's Avatar
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    No, right there with you (figuratively speaking).

    Can't stand the squat option. Only used in extreme emergencies, like after an insanely spicy som tam with whiskey mixer the night before...and a coffee and cigarette in the morning....damn, that's the worlds greatest laxative. I'd rather clench by butt cheeks and search for civilisation than use the squat. It is an evil device....and usually the most unhygienic (and smelly) place on earth.
    "Slavery is the daughter of darkness; an ignorant people is the blind instrument of its own destruction; ambition and intrigue take advantage of the credulity and inexperience of men who have no political, economic or civil knowledge. They mistake pure illusion for reality, license for freedom, treason for patriotism, vengeance for justice."-Simón Bolívar

  3. #3
    I am in Jail

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    Disagree.
    I hated the squats at first, but got used to them. Difficult and potentially messy if you wear trousers, so I always wore dresses.
    More hygienic, especially the horrid public loos anywhere, as you don't have to touch your bum or anything where someone else was parking or peeing all over.
    A bit difficult to get your bearings if it's dark or you've been drinking.
    Good for the building thigh muscles.
    Easier to clean than western ones; I hated it when English friends with squats came over to one of my homes for a chat but mostly to use my Western toilet.

  4. #4
    Developing Member

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    I don't know why but squat toilets stink more than the 'sit up and beg' western versions.

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jet Gorgon
    I hated it when English friends with squats came over to one of my homes for a chat but mostly to use my Western toilet.
    classy friends.

  6. #6
    Pronce. PH said so AGAIN!
    slackula's Avatar
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    I can't squat to save my life, If I don't have something to hold onto I'm f*cked.

    Avoided at all costs except in cases of dire emergency.

  7. #7
    Boxed Member
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    We just built a squat for the staff and we use it until the bungalow is finished.

    We are currently building a 'wastewater gardens' toilet system....vely interesting, but not sure it will work properly.

  8. #8
    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
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    squatting is a technically better position as it lines up sh1t chute vertically allowing gravity to assist the dangleberrys .

  9. #9
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    only if you do not have a bung leg and are not 350kg's.

    I am only one of these....

  10. #10
    RIP
    Happyman's Avatar
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    Stopped in a 'Motel' in between Lagos and Benin a few years ago.
    Each 'chalet ' had a bucket of water on the balcony - and a shovel !!!
    Wanna dump ?
    Take shovel - go into bush - dig hole - dump - wash bum- and come back refreshed !
    Had to be very careful where you walked and dumped though !


  11. #11
    Thailand Expat

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    My first digs in Thailand was an old teak apartment. Upper level of my landlords childhood house.

    It had a separate shower and squat toilet on the balcony (enclosed). I used to just sit on the squat toilet and crap away. It was my toilet and I kept it clean everyday. Worked pretty well unless I had really big poos and then sometimes they touched my balls and needed an extra clean

  12. #12
    Thailand Expat klong toey's Avatar
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    I do not have a problem with squat toilets,only had trouble using one on a Thai train once.Not easy whilst bumping around when the train is moving.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsquirrel View Post
    My first digs in Thailand was an old teak apartment. Upper level of my landlords childhood house.

    It had a separate shower and squat toilet on the balcony (enclosed). I used to just sit on the squat toilet and crap away. It was my toilet and I kept it clean everyday. Worked pretty well unless I had really big poos and then sometimes they touched my balls and needed an extra clean
    Just a tad too much data for me there thanks

  14. #14
    splendid and tremendous
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    Used the squatter lots..but after a dozen times of completly missing the bog with projectile 'Issan genre' bowel movements I've decided the nly practical ways is to give the bog a thorough rinse down before sitting on the fucker. Not pleasant..
    Was caught short in Saraburi bus station a couple of years back and made for the shitter like a bat out of hell..just to add to my discomfort a couple of booftie boys were buggering each other in the nextdoor cubicle..I was wretching and shatting at the same time...traumatising experience that was.

  15. #15
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    ^^ Traumatic indeed.
    I often wonder how some Thais feel when confronted by a western style toilet. I wonder if they leave sniggering to themselves after having left two filthy footprints on the seat , or if indeed they are so ignorant as to not realise ppl put their ass on there.

  16. #16
    RIP
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    We had a driver in Saudi who squatted on the seat of a western toilet - slipped - foot went halfway round the "s" bend and broke his ankle !!

  17. #17
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    I was stayin in a guest house years ago and had the squits, run up stairs to the shitter, squat job,got into postion,and slipped off and shat all over the door,grabed the bum gun, washed down and went for another beer.
    (Hello all) Newbie.

  18. #18
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    That's not a toilet. It's a hole in the ground!
    I heard the exact same from a fellow school kid on our GCSE day trip to France.

  19. #19
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