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  1. #1
    The Pikey Hunter
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    Latest fat bastard news

    Introducing the Lardbuckets... all that is wrong with Britain



    Fat lot of use ... Chawner family

    IT MAY be because I’ve just started a diet – I’ve been forced to as Heston Blumenthal’s frog blancmange is simply too calorific – but I am becoming increasingly hostile to the nation’s lardarses, especially the Chawner family.

    Let me introduce them. Mr Philip Chawner is 53 and weighs 24st. His wife Audrey is 57 and weighs 24st.


    Daughter Emma, 19, weighs 17st while older sister Samantha, 21, weighs 18st.

    Between them they weigh 83st and claim £22,000 a year in benefits (equivalent to a £30,000 salary).


    Why, in these difficult times, are we funding these disgusting people?


    It’s a national disgrace. Presumably, if we cut off their income support, they would starve, which would be good for them and us.






    The family, who basically live on a diet of crisps, bacon butties, mash and biscuits, haven’t worked for 11 years.


    Let me repeat that. They haven’t worked for 11 years.
    Diabetes

    Mrs Chawner is paid an extra £330 a month disability allowance for epilepsy and asthma, both a result of being overweight.


    Mr Chawner gets an extra £71 a month after developing type 2 diabetes because of his size.


    Samantha receives £84 in jobseeker’s allowance each fortnight while Emma, who is training to be a hairdresser, gets £58 a fortnight under a hardship fund for low-income students.


    Emma says of her weight: “I am a student and don’t get time for exercise.”

    It’s tough fitting it in between hot cross buns.


    They have no sense that they are doing anything different from the rest of society.

    Take this quote from Closer, the excellent magazine that revealed this appalling set-up.

    “We love TV. It’s on from the moment we get up.


    “Often I am so tired from watching TV I have to take a nap.”


    That quote came without irony from Mr Chawner.


    It should be a joke. It’s not. He’s being serious.


    I ask you, why should we take our hard-earned money and put it in the pockets of the Chawners, from Blackburn, Lancs.


    It’s surely not a surprise that the 11 years they haven’t worked coincide with the election of this Labour regime.


    You don’t have to worry about which way they’ll vote, do you?

    There will be a number of organisations who will get upset about this article.

    I would be very grateful if the lardarse lobby — which is huge, as you might expect — didn’t write to me, email me or text me.


    In fact, I very much doubt if their podgy fingers could work their mobiles in any case.


    The Chawner family and families like them are a disgrace to themselves and to the nation.
    You, sir, are a God among men....
    Short Men, who aren't terribly bright....
    More like dwarves with learning disabilities....
    You are a God among Dwarves With Learning Disabilities.

  2. #2
    En route
    Cujo's Avatar
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    Hasn't this been done already?

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat
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    yea, gerbils been spending too much time in a dark place.

  4. #4
    The Pikey Hunter
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    oh bugger

  5. #5
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    I thought this thread was going to be about Marmite, not a repeat of last weeks news

  6. #6
    The Pikey Hunter
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    It's an editorial update

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat
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    gerbil can hardly be blamed, I didnt open the original thread either to start with cos it was rather misleading.

  8. #8
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly
    gerbil can hardly be blamed,
    Can we blame Marmite ?

  9. #9
    I don't know barbaro's Avatar
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    I guess the Brits can't poke fun at the Yanks and the Aussies anymore.

    The be fatties, and the UK economy and Sterling is tanking.

  10. #10
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    I'm going to print out that first photo and stick it on the fridge door. It may prevent me reaching in for food, or if the family start to look "attractive" it may stop me getting another beer.

  11. #11
    Thailand Expat
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    Is it Groundhog day?

  12. #12
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke
    if the family start to look "attractive" it may stop me getting another beer.
    The blond one looks quite a catch
    Wouldn't need to buy a bed

  13. #13
    The Pikey Hunter
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    Quote Originally Posted by Attilla the Hen View Post
    Is it Groundhog day?
    Don't blame me. Blame The Sun for running an editorial about the story in todays paper as a followup.

  14. #14
    Days Work Done! Norton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thetyim
    Wouldn't need to buy a bed
    Might invest in a coffin though if she persists on being on top.

    Edit: The guy is a fat bastard as well. Added to curb the wrath of Lilly and NR.

  15. #15
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gerbil
    Don't blame me. Blame The Sun for running an editorial about the story in todays paper as a followup.
    Second helping never did any harm.

  16. #16
    I am in Jail

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    Any fat bastards on TD?

  17. #17
    Not a Mod.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thetyim View Post
    I thought this thread was going to be about Marmite, not a repeat of last weeks news
    But which one is Marmite ?

    The father sure doesn't look 21st, perhaps the fellow in the picture is the milkman (so he's the father after all).

  18. #18
    Boxed Member
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    BobsKnob is packing on the business lunches of late.....getting porky....and he's a Pom, not sure how much allowance he claims though.

  19. #19
    On a walkabout
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    Good one for someone who is an expert with photo-shop.

    Anyone up for trying to shrink the Lards down to a bite size portion?

    You know the long/ stretch mirror effect.

    Come on.........do it fo England!

  20. #20
    Sprayed On Member
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    I dont think even photoshop can fix these guys

  21. #21
    Sprayed On Member
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    It was too much hard work for me. Thier just too fat. I couldn't thin them out so I just gavce them big grumpy faces.



    Thier unhappy because thier so fat.

  22. #22
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    X FACTOR reject Emma Chawner and her family were planning to live in their car after being thrown out of their home by bailiffs.
    The former reality TV hopeful, 19, along with her parents and sister, have been kicked out of their house in Ramsbottom following more than 130 complaints from neighbours about ‘nuisance behaviour’ including singing.



    Yesterday, officers from Bury Council and a housing association arrived to change the locks on the three-bedroomed semi-detached property, in Lancaster Avenue, while police were also on hand.
    Mum Audrey, 57, said the family, plus their pets including a cat and budgies, have nowhere else to go, leaving them no choice but to bed down in their Toyota car.
    And Emma, who was lambasted by Simon Cowell when she appeared on the X Factor series for the past two years, added: “I just feel so sad. My neighbour was crying because she’s upset we are leaving.
    “The council has been asking us about scratches on the door but that was not us.
    “Now they are kicking us out on the streets.”
    She also insisted council chiefs should have used CCTV or other equipment to check the catalogue of complaints made against the family by neighbours, including one who has recently died.
    Audrey denied claims that the family had held all-night karaoke sessions in the house.
    She added: “I just feel right let down and very upset by it and how we have been treated.
    “This takes a hell of a lot out of someone’s life.
    “People have said they cannot believe this has happened and they have asked how can they do it to us.
    “I am so worried about the future. I am sick of it and how they treat us. It is just not right.”
    Dad Philip, 53, vowed to fight on to overturn the judge’s decision and find another home for the family.
    Six Town Housing, which manages council housing on behalf of Bury Council, moved to evict the Chawners after receiving 134 complaints from neighbours about ‘loud music’ and ‘singing late at night’.
    Other alleged behaviour included foul, abusive and threatening language often directed towards their neighbours; violent arguments between the family; banging on walls; a constantly barking dog; and playing their television at an excessively high volume.
    In August 2007 the family admitted 17 offences of rowdiness and were issued with a postponed possession order.
    An eviction notice was granted at Bury County Court last month after a judge heard details of the latest complaints and the Chawners were given 28 days to leave their home.
    When the deadline passed without the Chawners moving, the council applied for a warrant to remove them from the property.
    A Bury Council spokesman said: “The warrant was executed by the bailiff and the locks on the property have now been changed.
    “This was following the Chawner family leaving the address of their own accord but not handing their keys for the property into Six Town Housing.”
    However, yesterday, one neighbour, Ruth Simpson, defended the family.
    She said: “They were alright. The dispute was between them and their next-door neighbour - it did not concern anybody else.
    “You don’t want what’s happened to them to happen to anybody. It’s just sad.”


    Can't sing either apparently.

  23. #23
    The cold, wet one
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    Quote Originally Posted by Norton
    Edit: The guy is a fat bastard as well. Added to curb the wrath of Lilly and NR.
    Ex-er-cuuuuse me???

    Read my comments in the other thread.



    Quote Originally Posted by Gerbil
    all that is wrong with Britain
    Nope. A lot of what is wrong with Britain is a national media that has nothing better to do than poke fun at those that are different or incite hysteria or hatred (remember the wrongly 'named & shamed' "paedophiles", anyone?) Real news is delegated to the back-burner as 'boring', while scandal, gossip & hatred sell. The media and the bloody idiots that swallow all their crap eagerly down & savour every mouth full are much more what is wrong with Britain.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nawty
    BobsKnob is packing on the business lunches of late.....getting porky....and he's a Pom, not sure how much allowance he claims though.
    really?

    tell us more...

  25. #25
    Banned Muadib's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke View Post
    I'm going to print out that first photo and stick it on the fridge door. It may prevent me reaching in for food, or if the family start to look "attractive" it may stop me getting another beer.
    You can eat, just make it a banana, apple, mango, pappaya or something else healthy... A lard sandwich just shouldn't be on the menu...

    Which spawns another train of thought, oh dear... Just what is it that the Canucks like about spreading lard on two pieces of bread and munching it... I never have been able to figure that one out...
    Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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