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  1. #1
    I am in Jail

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    What is going to happen in the North in the next few months?

    I posted recently about the Lam Yai crop (didn't want to put it in the farming lounge as nobody seems to read anything there)
    But seriously, a lot of people up north rely on this crop for the next years bread and butter, and many have borrowed already on the hope of a decent harvest.
    What is going to happen this year when it looks like the entire crop has failed?
    Where do they get credit/food/money from??

    The banks seem to be foreclosing loans like no ones business (where we are they are trying to flog off land that was worth 100K for 28K...and the economy is not looking any brighter, if you have already "mortgaged this years Lam Yai crop, (borrowing for your Bouee, and insecticides, and the crop doesn't materialize..what the fuck are people gfoing to do? Food prices are rising, my brother in law who usually has a good crop looks like he is up shit creek! Where if anywhere is there any assistance?

    The way I see it is, when the people starve, there can be wars!

  2. #2
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    Marmite the Dog's Avatar
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    Liverpool or Man U will win the European Cup.

  3. #3
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    Yes the shit is going to hit the fan (North, South, East, West and in the middle) big style and only today I read where Vietnam is approaching Thai volumes with regard to rice exports with Thai rice exports dropping by about 20%.

    BANK OF THAILAND PLEASE NOTE!

  4. #4
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    IT APPEARS I HAVE BEEN BANNED FOR CONTRADICTING THE PRICK!
    No it doesn't. I can read your post. And besides, I think you're going insane.

    Again.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog View Post
    Liverpool or Man U will win the European Cup.
    Now wouldn't that be a final played with passion!

    4-0 to Man U of course.

  5. #5
    I am in Jail

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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog View Post
    Liverpool or Man U will win the European Cup.
    Man U Hands Down...3 -1

  6. #6
    ทำไมคุณแปลนี้
    filch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chairman Mao View Post
    4-0 to Man U of course.
    Love ya! Greenie on the way!

    Quote Originally Posted by Missismiggins View Post
    Man U Hands Down...3 -1
    Quite possibly only the second time I've agreed with you!

    Green for you too!

  7. #7
    better looking than Ned
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    Buy more guns as we are probably going to need them sortly

  8. #8
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    These will be the times that test our souls. Do you have the abilities and farsight to be self-sufficient and free and independent? Time will tell whose is the strongest and whom of those are weak and dependent on a controlling, suppressive system. {fuck both Liverpool and ManU}

  9. #9
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    SEA Traveler's Avatar
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    more than enough pessimism out there. Should I be getting ready to stockpile some food and water as well as expand the veggie garden?

  10. #10
    I am in Jail

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    Quote Originally Posted by SEA Traveler View Post
    more than enough pessimism out there. Should I be getting ready to stockpile some food and water as well as expand the veggie garden?
    Sell all your gold, buy some tinned food,(usually tuna or sardines in tomato sauce is available in most supermarkets...tuna at a premium!) dig an underground bunker, well away from any cess pits, unless you like the smell, a few guns won't go amiss, and keep your head down for the next five years, apart from the 90 day reporting, and any visa grovelling that you need to do you should be fine!

    To be on the safe side, dye your hair black, a bit of skin whitening lotion, (not forgetting the underarms and elbows, they need to be really white to blend in with the locals). Make sure that you allow your teeth to become yellowed and congealed with undigested rice, a good sized mole usually helps...it can put you in a class above your local dark skinned Thai, people may even think you are Chinese if you manage to grow some mole hair, but this hair must be extremely "whispy" and at least a foot long! Then, put on some womens clothes, squeeze any zits in your motorcycle mirror everytime you stop the bike, endlessly finger your mobile phone saying Kha Kha Kha with a nice compliant smile on your face, even when you are getting it up the ass! Simper, and fawn when being looked dow to by whiter skinned Thais than yourself, and anyone who appears to be in some form of authority, hand out money to buy worthless shite as soon as you are confronted by some pushy twat that wants to sell something, (never tell them to FUCK OFF, even if you really don't need to buy it, that would never do, and may lead to a slight confrontation) remember...face is EVERYTHING!
    Make sure from your position in hiding, that you are still able to offer food and money, mainly money, especially money to the local beggars from the temple, they are easily recognised, they are dressed in saffron, do no work, many have tattoos that protect them from gunfire and AIDS, so don't attack them, they have more power than Superman, unless you have some Kryptonite, (A job may scare them off too, and don't be fooled...they WILL handle money, in fact they love to touch it...it must bring them some kind of luck...keep your kids away from them, plus any sex videos or karaoke!) and usually come around your home at the least opportune moments! They don't (currently) carry weapons, but be careful...the times they are a changing! They are however armed with extremely lethal "Amulets" so be warned, you gun will have no effect...give them the cash and the food, it's not worth the fight.
    One last thing, make sure you sign up to EVERY endowment/savings policy offered by the likes of AIA and Siam Commercial, you will surely be a wealthy man some day...honsestly, thats what they say!
    and act like a complete faggot, you should pass for a Thai!

  11. #11
    I am in Jail

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chairman Mao View Post
    IT APPEARS I HAVE BEEN BANNED FOR CONTRADICTING THE PRICK!
    No it doesn't. I can read your post. And besides, I think you're going insane.

    Again.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog View Post
    Liverpool or Man U will win the European Cup.
    Now wouldn't that be a final played with passion!

    4-0 to Man U of course.
    And actually, I think I agree, I am going mad!
    Things are getting too much here at the minute...just been downstairs to find out what the fucking terrible smell is, and lo and behold, the bastard dogs have dug up two of the dead cats they killed...is there no rest for the wicked? Problem is, I can only smell them, I can't find them, their little kitten graves are well and truly opened and robbed...but despite their disgusting smell, they are no where to be found!

    No wonder I am losing it... is this a sane thing to be doing at 3 am, poking around in the dark looking for dead rotting kittens?

    I need a life!

    Anyway, I have decided, if the dogs like that kind of food, then "up to them" thats all they will have to eat til the smell has gone, or if I find the smelly little bastards, you wouldn't beleive the stink that a tiny little dead cat can make, its haunting!
    And to answer someone earlier, yes I do read books, but I only have 5 and end up reading them again and again and again!

  12. #12
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    My life seems even more brilliant now.

    Thanks.

  13. #13
    Member Super Swan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missismiggins View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by SEA Traveler View Post
    more than enough pessimism out there. Should I be getting ready to stockpile some food and water as well as expand the veggie garden?
    Sell all your gold, buy some tinned food,(usually tuna or sardines in tomato sauce is available in most supermarkets...tuna at a premium!) dig an underground bunker, well away from any cess pits, unless you like the smell, a few guns won't go amiss, and keep your head down for the next five years, apart from the 90 day reporting, and any visa grovelling that you need to do you should be fine!

    To be on the safe side, dye your hair black, a bit of skin whitening lotion, (not forgetting the underarms and elbows, they need to be really white to blend in with the locals). Make sure that you allow your teeth to become yellowed and congealed with undigested rice, a good sized mole usually helps...it can put you in a class above your local dark skinned Thai, people may even think you are Chinese if you manage to grow some mole hair, but this hair must be extremely "whispy" and at least a foot long! Then, put on some womens clothes, squeeze any zits in your motorcycle mirror everytime you stop the bike, endlessly finger your mobile phone saying Kha Kha Kha with a nice compliant smile on your face, even when you are getting it up the ass! Simper, and fawn when being looked dow to by whiter skinned Thais than yourself, and anyone who appears to be in some form of authority, hand out money to buy worthless shite as soon as you are confronted by some pushy twat that wants to sell something, (never tell them to FUCK OFF, even if you really don't need to buy it, that would never do, and may lead to a slight confrontation) remember...face is EVERYTHING!
    Make sure from your position in hiding, that you are still able to offer food and money, mainly money, especially money to the local beggars from the temple, they are easily recognised, they are dressed in saffron, do no work, many have tattoos that protect them from gunfire and AIDS, so don't attack them, they have more power than Superman, unless you have some Kryptonite, (A job may scare them off too, and don't be fooled...they WILL handle money, in fact they love to touch it...it must bring them some kind of luck...keep your kids away from them, plus any sex videos or karaoke!) and usually come around your home at the least opportune moments! They don't (currently) carry weapons, but be careful...the times they are a changing! They are however armed with extremely lethal "Amulets" so be warned, you gun will have no effect...give them the cash and the food, it's not worth the fight.
    One last thing, make sure you sign up to EVERY endowment/savings policy offered by the likes of AIA and Siam Commercial, you will surely be a wealthy man some day...honsestly, thats what they say!
    and act like a complete faggot, you should pass for a Thai!





    Post of the Year is already in the bag!

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Super Swan
    Post of the Year is already in the bag!
    dont you mean village idiot of the year?

  15. #15
    ding ding ding
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missismiggins
    The banks seem to be foreclosing loans like no ones business (where we are they are trying to flog off land that was worth 100K for 28K
    Perfect.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missismiggins View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by SEA Traveler View Post
    more than enough pessimism out there. Should I be getting ready to stockpile some food and water as well as expand the veggie garden?
    Sell all your gold, buy some tinned food,(usually tuna or sardines in tomato sauce is available in most supermarkets...tuna at a premium!) dig an underground bunker, well away from any cess pits, unless you like the smell, a few guns won't go amiss, and keep your head down for the next five years, apart from the 90 day reporting, and any visa grovelling that you need to do you should be fine!

    To be on the safe side, dye your hair black, a bit of skin whitening lotion, (not forgetting the underarms and elbows, they need to be really white to blend in with the locals). Make sure that you allow your teeth to become yellowed and congealed with undigested rice, a good sized mole usually helps...it can put you in a class above your local dark skinned Thai, people may even think you are Chinese if you manage to grow some mole hair, but this hair must be extremely "whispy" and at least a foot long! Then, put on some womens clothes, squeeze any zits in your motorcycle mirror everytime you stop the bike, endlessly finger your mobile phone saying Kha Kha Kha with a nice compliant smile on your face, even when you are getting it up the ass! Simper, and fawn when being looked dow to by whiter skinned Thais than yourself, and anyone who appears to be in some form of authority, hand out money to buy worthless shite as soon as you are confronted by some pushy twat that wants to sell something, (never tell them to FUCK OFF, even if you really don't need to buy it, that would never do, and may lead to a slight confrontation) remember...face is EVERYTHING!
    Make sure from your position in hiding, that you are still able to offer food and money, mainly money, especially money to the local beggars from the temple, they are easily recognised, they are dressed in saffron, do no work, many have tattoos that protect them from gunfire and AIDS, so don't attack them, they have more power than Superman, unless you have some Kryptonite, (A job may scare them off too, and don't be fooled...they WILL handle money, in fact they love to touch it...it must bring them some kind of luck...keep your kids away from them, plus any sex videos or karaoke!) and usually come around your home at the least opportune moments! They don't (currently) carry weapons, but be careful...the times they are a changing! They are however armed with extremely lethal "Amulets" so be warned, you gun will have no effect...give them the cash and the food, it's not worth the fight.
    One last thing, make sure you sign up to EVERY endowment/savings policy offered by the likes of AIA and Siam Commercial, you will surely be a wealthy man some day...honsestly, thats what they say!
    and act like a complete faggot, you should pass for a Thai!
    Dependent on the system....

  17. #17
    Thailand Expat reinvented's Avatar
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    liverpool 5- rag scum 3
    we always win in rome

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missismiggins View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by SEA Traveler View Post
    more than enough pessimism out there. Should I be getting ready to stockpile some food and water as well as expand the veggie garden?
    Sell all your gold, buy some tinned food,(usually tuna or sardines in tomato sauce is available in most supermarkets...tuna at a premium!) dig an underground bunker, well away from any cess pits, unless you like the smell, a few guns won't go amiss, and keep your head down for the next five years, apart from the 90 day reporting, and any visa grovelling that you need to do you should be fine!

    To be on the safe side, dye your hair black, a bit of skin whitening lotion, (not forgetting the underarms and elbows, they need to be really white to blend in with the locals). Make sure that you allow your teeth to become yellowed and congealed with undigested rice, a good sized mole usually helps...it can put you in a class above your local dark skinned Thai, people may even think you are Chinese if you manage to grow some mole hair, but this hair must be extremely "whispy" and at least a foot long! Then, put on some womens clothes, squeeze any zits in your motorcycle mirror everytime you stop the bike, endlessly finger your mobile phone saying Kha Kha Kha with a nice compliant smile on your face, even when you are getting it up the ass! Simper, and fawn when being looked dow to by whiter skinned Thais than yourself, and anyone who appears to be in some form of authority, hand out money to buy worthless shite as soon as you are confronted by some pushy twat that wants to sell something, (never tell them to FUCK OFF, even if you really don't need to buy it, that would never do, and may lead to a slight confrontation) remember...face is EVERYTHING!
    Make sure from your position in hiding, that you are still able to offer food and money, mainly money, especially money to the local beggars from the temple, they are easily recognised, they are dressed in saffron, do no work, many have tattoos that protect them from gunfire and AIDS, so don't attack them, they have more power than Superman, unless you have some Kryptonite, (A job may scare them off too, and don't be fooled...they WILL handle money, in fact they love to touch it...it must bring them some kind of luck...keep your kids away from them, plus any sex videos or karaoke!) and usually come around your home at the least opportune moments! They don't (currently) carry weapons, but be careful...the times they are a changing! They are however armed with extremely lethal "Amulets" so be warned, you gun will have no effect...give them the cash and the food, it's not worth the fight.
    One last thing, make sure you sign up to EVERY endowment/savings policy offered by the likes of AIA and Siam Commercial, you will surely be a wealthy man some day...honsestly, thats what they say!
    and act like a complete faggot, you should pass for a Thai!
    Someone hurry up and help this guy! Hurry! Hurry. He's already gone overboard, he is in the deep end and he just about ready to go over the edge.

    What a laugh. I love it. Spoken like a guy who has no qualms at all about no abiding by the new terms of political correctness. I just love it. A great laugh. I can't stop laughing. Thanks, I needed that laugh.
    "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff....and it is all small stuff"

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Super Swan
    Post of the Year is already in the bag!
    dont you mean village idiot of the year?
    ....it's just that nobody recognizes this Willy.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rural Surin
    ...it's just that nobody recognizes this Willy.
    true true.

    but there is some stiff competition here, DrivingWank or AccidentalAlcoholic, are ones that comes to mind immediately.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by SEA Traveler
    expand the veggie garden?
    I was thinking of planting a few potatoes in nakorn Sawan

  22. #22
    I am in Jail

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    Tracksuit clad thieves with Scouse accents - with hoodies and reversed baseball caps 1 - Webbed feet thieves and social outcasts 3..put a fiver on it!
    Sort of "Battle of the raggers".

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