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  1. #1
    Thailand Expat
    cantona's Avatar
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    The worst farang bullshit and experience thread

    Ok lads and lassies what is the worst farang bullshit or experiences you have come across in Thailand. We can't include Smeg and dead girlfriends, it has to be realife bullshit or experiences of odd behaviour from farangs in work, at a bar etc.

    I used to work with another Brit who would be late at least one hour a day and come in off his fokin' rocker on yab. he'd come in with black eyes after fights, stinkin' of ale with his eyes all over the fokin' gaff.

    I've got lots more, though tell me your stories. If anyone has worked or met Smeg it might be interesting......

    By the way I spelt 'experience' wrong before any farkin smart arse wants to comment!
    Last edited by cantona; 01-06-2006 at 03:01 PM.

  2. #2
    punk douche bag
    ChiangMai noon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cantona
    'experience'
    you can edit it.

    edit the op, then go to advanced options, you will have the option to edit the thread title.

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat
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    Oy, you spelt experience wrong!

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat
    cantona's Avatar
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    Cheers, sorted now

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat reinvented's Avatar
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    it'd have to be dean

    an alchy american gadgie i had the misfortune of meeting
    tobacco chewing, bull shit spewing
    twat around town

    he may be known to a fewpeople here, i didnt know him well but he knew how to leave an impression

  6. #6
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    "I didn't kill them three fokers, it was the Thai press what said I did"

    anonymous

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat
    The Ghost Of The Moog's Avatar
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    The worst farang I met in Thailand was also the richest. I daresay worth about $ 30 million plus.

    He was incredibly abusive and foul mouthed, broke every Thai social convention and nicety. Selfish, threatening, with a terrible bad temper.

    I worked for him at a time I desperately needed work, yet resigned - disgusted with his behaviour towards myself and others.

    He was a scumbag really. A rich one, but still a scumbag.

  8. #8
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Old Croc
    "I didn't kill them three fokers, it was the Thai press what said I did"
    You what? Explain.

  9. #9
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  10. #10
    Thailand Expat
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    Ah, though which bullshitter was supposed to have done the murders oh wise old one

  11. #11
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    Some pissed barely intelligble Belgian that acosted me on in a bar in Pattaya during breakfast. Claimed to have exclusive rights to sell England world cup jersies in South East Asia and just needed some starting capital and partners to develop the business

  12. #12
    Aspiring Guru
    poolcleaner's Avatar
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    We've all heard the stories about the 'Special Ops/Black Ops' American who 'would tell you more but he'd have to kill' you guy.

    One day I was in the Beergarden and I was eavesdropping on the yank next to me.
    Yep, he went off with the whole spiel about his secret work in Australian bases, undercover, blah, blah....to a bargirl!!

    Needless to say, she was as unimpressed as I.

  13. #13
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    I sat alone at a beer bar complex in Pattaya on my first ever visit and was surprised when the guy I'd just shared the "WHERE ARE YOU FROM" spiel with then stared at an older guy and promised to "do him SAS style just like Iraq" and squared up to him. I finished my beer, shook my head, paid and left.

  14. #14
    Thailand Expat
    cantona's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cantona
    Ah, though which bullshitter was supposed to have done the murders oh wise old one
    Ah just read all the thread, seems like you, Bronco and DaleyBoy are full of bullshit. You bringin' you gun, knob?

  15. #15
    Thailand Expat

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    Christ

    Lots

    The guy in town who ripped of his credit card to live here. all of 3000 quid well worth the balifs hassling your mum. Lived in the shadow of his brothers stories that he liked to repeat.

    The fat welsh **** Steve who borrowed lots of money and claimed to have been locked up in Laos for shaggin Laos girls. Keep an eye out for him. Pissed in some new girls kettle at a party for a laugh.

  16. #16
    I am in Jail

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    I met a guy once who thought he was Jesus........

  17. #17
    Thailand Expat

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    My Kiwi friends talked about some big shot Kiwi Mafia man in Pattaya that they were friends with Fish was his name or something like that.

    They went to visit him and brought back photos of his house - he looked like a big shot.

  18. #18
    I am in Jail

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    How about that bloke back in the 90's in Hua Hin who told his family he'd been kidnapped and to send him 6000 quid for the ransom. Instead they called the Embassy who in turn called the coppers, who then descended on Hua Hin in droves only to find him shacked up with a (not very nice) hooker. I met the guy a couple of times in Bintabaht and he actuallly seemed OK. Made the papers in the UK as well!

  19. #19
    This is not my avatar
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    All the chaps I've met over here have been quite decent sort of people, you know, the kinds of guys you can sit down with a cup of tea and a packet of Jaffa cakes and discuss the qualities of England's middle order and whether or not they should employ a second spinner or not. Even some of the antipodean fellows enjoy a nice brew on the verandah whilst maybe partaking in a few rubbers or a rather pleasant game of cribbage. I don't know what kind of places you gentlemen must be frequenting to meet persons of the quality you describe, but it would be my advice to discontinue such activities in your future social schedules - try the chess club or maybe, like me, you'd be more fulfilled making christmas cards for the mentally ill.

  20. #20
    There once upon a time...
    Torbek's Avatar
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    I was watching the AFL Grand Final with a group of about 8 or 9 local farangs plus a mate of one of them...

    He's only in the country a day or so and knew no-one in the room except his mate...but all through the first quarter, he 'regales' us with his exeriences on the previous night in Bangkok...

    (Note this guy is late 50s or early 60s and looks much older. Not an attractive man.)

    ...when he bar fined a girl who he said was gorgeous..."looked 15 and had small perky titties with large nipples" so he tells us he decided to "be her baby" and spent 10 minutes sucking her nipples while making goo-goo noises and crying like a hungry baby.

    Whatever he wants to do in cot is fair enough...but to share that story with 8 guys he's never met before during the AFL grand final? Fuckin' bizarre...

    An big, fat, ugly old man playing baby in the lap of some poor little teenage Thai girl.


    I still wake up sometimes, I do, wake up in the dark, and hear the crying of the baby...
    Last edited by Torbek; 01-06-2006 at 08:21 PM.

  21. #21
    This is not my avatar
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    Oh, so you've met danbo as well!

  22. #22
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    There's this guy who drinks in After work on sundays, he always tells me of his stories of ....................................

  23. #23
    Aspiring Guru
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat
    There's this guy who drinks in After work on sundays, he always tells me of his stories of ....................................
    Yeah, I know that guy.
    He's a millionaire, lucky cnut.

  24. #24
    Thailand Expat Boon Mee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Professorfart
    I met a guy once who thought he was Jesus........
    I once took some Laguna Beach Sunshine and saw Jesus and the whole bleedin' Holy Host!

  25. #25
    punk douche bag
    ChiangMai noon's Avatar
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    Anyone remember pphotoguy??
    That cnut would take some beating.

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