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Gerbil

SHOCKED surgeons were forced to use their imagination after operating on woman with a huge can of hairspray stuck in her bum.

Mirela Gradinaru, 37, arrived at the clinic in Arad, western Romania, in agony, begging docs to help.

But she refused to tell surgeons how the can came to be lodged in her rear even after a successful operation dislodged the canister.


Ouch ... x-ray of huge canister



‘ This was not just a little can of deodorant, this was a massive can of hairspray ’

Mirandolina Prisca, a doctor at the clinic, explained: "We had X-rays done to localise the object and then we carried out the operation. The patient was fine after it.

"She was very embarrassed. She was clearly in a lot of pain, however it got there."

"This was not just a little can of deodorant, this was a massive can of hairspray," said one hospital worker.

And perhaps unsurprisingly the docs never got to the bottom of this medical mystery!

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sabang

Happens all the time. It's quite a regular procedure to haul foreign objects from the tradesmans in emergency wards, be it a vibrator still merrily vibrating away or whatever. Some gays are apparently repeat visitors.

dirtydog

^All too common it seems

"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the Gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner Andrew (Kiki) Farnom, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in." he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon,' my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking that the light might attract him."

At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out of the tubing, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball." Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnom suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.

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Milkman

This woman could have surely used a cucumber, dildo, or other orafice.

But then again, if she stuck it in too far, and couldn't shoot it out, she'd have to go to the Docta.

Some people.

Sheesh.

Gerbil

^^ I deny the above and will be contacting my solicitors.

DrivingForce

no! say it ain't so!!! It's fecking Laurel & Hardy stuff!! The poor little gerbil!!! call the animal rights people!! this is wrong on so many levels!!! but still funny as shite!!!

kingwilly

I've heard that gerbil story so many times., i reckon its fake, anyone checked it on snopes?

kingwilly

appears to be fake.

snopes.com: Richard Gere and Gerbil

dirtydog

Think I found the real version

November Rain

That could be it, DD. I mean only baboon-butt would be silly enough to try & entice a gerbil out with fire. Anyone else would have just used the hose attachment on the vaccuum cleaner...

Dug

Still hillarious.

sabang

I have a butt page story for you, but, unfortunately, no documentary evidence. The story was told me by my brother, who used to lodge with a nurse. It is the nurse's story. About five years ago an old WW2 veteran used to come into a hospital clinic in the east end of London suffering from bad haemorroids (piles). The clinic did what they could, but they could never relieve the most painful pile, which would hang down and get stuck on the seam of the man's underpants. To rid himself of the nuisance of this pile, the old man used to push it back up into his rectum using the artillery shell from an anti-aircraft gun he used to man in the war. One day the shell got stuck and the man was forced to hobble down to the hospital to get it removed. As the doctor was about to insert his fingers into the old man's rectum to remove the shell he said 'Of course, this shell is spent, isn't it?' 'Oh no,' said the old man 'There's enough ammo in that shell to blast a Messerschmidt (sp?) out of the sky.' So the doctor called in the army bomb squad, who built a lead box around the old man's asshole and defused the shell in situ, before removing it.

piles and others

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Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

sabang

"Rectal Foreign Bodies" -- from Surgery Magazine (1986)


Collated by Drs. David B. Busch and James R. Starling, Madison, Wis.

The surgical management of two patients presenting with incarcerated, apparently self-inserted foreign bodies is reported. The large volume of prior literature on this subject is reviewed, with tabulation of 182 previous cases by type and number of objects recovered and with a discussion of patients' age distribution, history, complications and prognosis.

Table I Previously reported recovered foreign bodies:
[ed. note: list has been appended to reflect recently found documentation.]
Object Number Recovered
Glass or ceramic Bottle or jar 32
Bottle with attached rope 1
Glass or cup 12
Light bulb 7
Tube 6

Food
Apple 1
Banana 2
Carrot 4
Cucumber 3
Onion 2
Parsnip 1
Plantain (with condom) 1
Potato 1
Salami 1
Turnip 1
Zucchini 2

Wooden Ax handle 1
Stick or broom handle 10
Miscellaneous or unspecified 3
Sexual Device Vibrator 23*
Dildo 15

Kitchen device
Dull knife 1
Ice pick 1
Knife sharpener 1
Mortar pestle 2
Spatula (plastic) 1
Spoon 1
Tin cup 1

Miscellaneous tools
Candle 1
Curling Iron 1
Flashlight 3
Iron rod 1
Pen 2
Rubber tube 1
Screwdriver 1
Toothbrush 1
Wire spring 1

Inflated device
Balloon 1
Balloon attached to cylinder 1
Condom 1

Ball
Baseball 2
Tennis ball 1
Pool cue ball 1

Miscellaneous containers
Baby powder can 1
Candle box 1
Shampoo Bottle 1
Snuff box 1

Miscellaneous
Bottle cap ** 1
Cattle horn 3
Chain (gold) 1
Frozen pig's tail 1 "
Kangaroo tumor" # 1
Hair Mousse Cap 1
Plastic rod 1
Stone 2
Toothbrush holder 1
Toothbrush package 1
Whip handle 2*

Rectal Foreign Bodies

Loy Toy

I hope she had applied a FDA approved condom on the canister and all.

You can't be too sure these days!

pickel

A friend of mine works in a hospital back home and said the funniest thing he saw was a guy who had a bottle of HP sauce shoved up his ass. When they removed it, they realized there was a potato still up there behind it.

kmart

I'm really glad I read that after lunch. Wonder if he was baking a meat and potato pie up his arse?

kingwilly

all these friends of friends stories.

i believe them, i truly do.

Mr Pot

Jackass - The Butt Xray

Ryan Dunn sticks a toy car up his ass and goes to the doctors

kingwilly

Jaysus, i'd forgotten that, still makes me squirm.

bladdy funny but

filch

LOL - I remember watching that one!