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  1. #1
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    Killing animals.....Whats the best way ?

    Fish :- I find using one of those wooden things they use to pound up spices ect it the best for fish a good smack on the head will usually do it. Catfish (pla duk) just dont seem to die and usually need about 2-3 good whacks they also have two sharp spines sticking out just after their head you need to be carful when grabing then as they are sharp, hold them firmly just behind the head and then whack them.

    Chickens:- I dont usually do chickens myself, but the best way is to hold them by the head and give them a sharp flick (a bit lick flicking a towel) this will break their necks and then you just slit the throat to bleed it. My gran used to recon the best way was to hold the chicken gently while kooing to it and stroking it (to relax it) then put a small sharp knife down it throat and slit it inside. She reconed the chicken has no nerves inside and cant feel it, you then just hold the chicken until it drowns in it own blood, then drain. She reconed the meat it more tender done this way.

    Medium sized animals (sheep, pigs, dogs ect) you need a good sized hammer and a sharp knife (some rope optional). Straddle the animal facing towards it head and firmly grab one ear, with the other hand give it a good whack on the head with the hammer (a small sledge type is best as it blunt and you dont really want to pierce the head ,messy). While it is stunned (mabye dead if the whack was good enough) slit its throat, this is'nt as easy as it sounds and will need a good bit of sawing through, the best way it to pierce the neck with the knife and then work it through. Then hang it up from a tree or something from the back legs to drain the blood.
    You may need to tie its legs together first to facilitate the whacking with the hammer.
    If you try to slit it throat without the stunning bit you'll be in a hell of a mess as you probably wont be able to kep hold of it and end up with a pig or sheep running around with a knife in its neck just bleading and squelling everywhere

    Larger animals (cows ect) Well I've never done a healthy one only ones that are just about to die and unable to walk, basicaly the same thing, hammer and knife. Killing a healthy one woud be a challenge just to keep it still. I think they usually use bolt guns that just do the same as the hammer but kill straight away
    I have more than the average number of arm and legs

  2. #2
    punk douche bag
    ChiangMai noon's Avatar
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    What a jolly morning read to go with my coffee and cigarettes.

    i think I'll read it again.
    what's the best method for baby cats?

  3. #3
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    ^ large sack, couple of bricks and a klong!

  4. #4
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    A multi-purpose 4WB vehicle c/w massive bull bar is the chosen weapon for 88% of Australians.

    Very effective.


  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by poolcleaner
    A multi-purpose 4WB vehicle c/w massive bull bar is the chosen weapon for 88% of Australians.

    Very effective.
    bloody fun too!

    hit a flock of sheep once at 140km/hr - she fuckers bounced off left and right like cotton wool balls!

    but was way pissed off one time when i hit a fat crow that had been eating roadkill and was too heavy to fly away - and it hit one of my driving lights!

    took it out entirely - thats about $100 wasted!

  6. #6
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    I destroyed a car, well it was a VW bug hitting a deer at 60 miles an hour. Damn deer ran off.

  7. #7
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    Oh deer.

  8. #8
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    The only animals I enjoy killing are mossies and flies.
    It requires a sharp eye and speed to squash a flying mosquito in your hand.
    No chance of this method with flies - I wait till they settle down, then hit it with the fanned end of an 'outdoor' broom. Make sure you don't cast a warning shadow near the darn thing.

    Moving up one size: spiders don't bother me, neither do cockroaches these days, but they are best killed with a slipper, make sure you don't hit it too hard, or further to that disgusting cracking sound, you'd also have the soft inerts squishing out.

    Scorpions: there's no need to kill them, but I threw one on the BBQ before.
    Frogs, mice and small fish: pointed spikes at the end of a bamboo rod. I am pretty useless with this, it's the missus who goes hunting at night.

    Larger fish: as described by RC, I also use the hardwood 'club' that is used for pounding spices.

    That's as far as I'd normally go with killings.

    I noticed that Thais do not slit throads when killing chickens, dogs, pigs - the blood is collected after the animal died and added to raw mince dishes or cooked with soups and curries.
    For chicken the preferred method here is death by hanging, dogs and pigs wacked over the head with a blunt hammer or hardwood stick, then a pointed knife driven into the heart. the small wound is then plugged to keep the blood in.

  9. #9
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    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by RandomChances
    I wrote all that about slaughtering defenseless cattle to try to appear a little more dangerous
    We still like you!

  10. #10
    I am in Jail
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    I wrote all that about slaughtering defenseless cattle to try to appear a little more dangerous
    Holding one ear or stroking my throat won't work with me if you hold a knife or hammer!

  11. #11
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    I got the answer for cats.

  12. #12
    Not again! machangezi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RC
    I dont usually do chickens myself, but the best way is to hold them by the head and give them a sharp flick (a bit lick flicking a towel) this will break their necks and then you just slit the throat to bleed it.
    I'm against killing animals. Went out hunting with friends tens of times but never shot any. Really can't do it.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by stroller
    I noticed that Thais do not slit throads when killing chickens, dogs, pigs - the blood is collected after the animal died and added to raw mince dishes or cooked with soups and curries. For chicken the preferred method here is death by hanging, dogs and pigs wacked over the head with a blunt hammer or hardwood stick, then a pointed knife driven into the heart. the small wound is then plugged to keep the blood in
    They slit the throat here, but still collect the blood (chickens). The method for larger animals did'nt come from watching thais do it , but from watching my grandmother killing pigs when I was a kid.
    The bit for cows comes from when you sell a dieing cow, If you are lucky you get someone out before it dead as you get more money then, sometime they will finnish it off themselfs, some times you have to do it yourself.

    Quote Originally Posted by stroller
    The only animals I enjoy killing are mossies and flies.
    I don't actually enjoy killing things but have no problem doing it if the need arises

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Macha
    I'm against killing animals. Went out hunting with friends tens of times but never shot any. Really can't do it.
    I've never been into hunting, or fishing really. I do prefer to eat dead animals so sometimes killing them is nessesary

  15. #15
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    The reason for slitting a chicken's throat while it is still living is,it's the easiest way to get all the blood to drain out,if they are dead when you bleed them the blood will clot and require more work when cleaning it.

  16. #16

    R.I.P.


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    Couldn't you have waited till late afternoon before starting this thread RC.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirtydog
    Couldn't you have waited till late afternoon before starting this thread RC.
    I'm afraid starting threads has to be in the morning as I usually have a nap in the afternoon and by the evening my internet slows to a crawl, so its read only

  18. #18

    R.I.P.


    dirtydog's Avatar
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    The software on this forum is differant to most forums, here when you post it only adds the new post, it does not refresh the whole page, that's one of the reasons it is so quick.

  19. #19
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    Well RC, this is how we used to do it.

    Sheep were easy.(try killing a ram with a blow to the heard...almost impossible) Very sharp knife, grab the sheep by the jaw bending the neck back and then slit it's throat right through.If you stand in the right position, you don't get covered in blood.It's all over in a second.knife must be sharp though.

    Chickens, just as you described.Grab by the head and give 'em a good flick.Cutting their heads off sometimes makes them run around without a head.not a nice sight really.

    Pigs and cattle, used to shoot them with a .22 at close range.Then we used to cut their throats.

    Rabbits were easy if they were wounded.Stand on animals head,grab the legs and pull hard.You break the neck .

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Chuchok
    Sheep were easy.(try killing a ram with a blow to the heard...almost impossible)
    Yea I agree with you there, rams are designed for head butting, they have a very thick bone on the head I think, never tried killing a ram, only ever done two sheep.

    The shooting is fine, but I learned from my gran, who did'nt have a gun and here where they still dont have guns....well most dont anyway.



    Quote Originally Posted by dirtydog
    The software on this forum is differant to most forums, here when you post it only adds the new post, it does not refresh the whole page, that's one of the reasons it is so quick.
    It quick when it works, but often buggy as hell

  21. #21
    I am in Jail
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Chuchok
    Sheep were easy.(try killing a ram with a blow to the heard...almost impossible) Very sharp knife, grab the sheep by the jaw bending the neck back and then slit it's throat right through.If you stand in the right position, you don't get covered in blood.It's all over in a second.knife must be sharp though.
    Nice post Chuckok. You would do a perfect AQ operative in Iraq.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly
    Quote Originally Posted by Little Chuchok
    Sheep were easy.(try killing a ram with a blow to the heard...almost impossible) Very sharp knife, grab the sheep by the jaw bending the neck back and then slit it's throat right through.If you stand in the right position, you don't get covered in blood.It's all over in a second.knife must be sharp though.
    Nice post Chuckok. You would do a perfect AQ operative in Iraq.
    Well I suppose life on a farm is a bit different to your type I suppose.

    Just remember that when you eat meat, it was living and has been butchered.If I remember, marbled steak that you enjoy so much was delt to in a way that most people tend to squirm about.

    Comparing that to an AQ is just a tad silly, don't you think?

    Unless of course, it's your wacky French-Canadian sence of humour.

  23. #23
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    ^ it was a joke, Chuchok, lighten up

  24. #24

    R.I.P.


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    I used to love hunting as a kid but lacked patience, for rats I just used to put out a loaf of bread and shoot the buggers while they were eating with an old .22 air rifle, used to do the same to birds until me mum caught me, then I would go into the woods and look for all the birds nests, then go back in the evening and shoot thru the base of the birds nest, children can be so cruel

  25. #25
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    The hardwood ' thing ' used to grind spices in a mortar is called a pestle.

    Not sure if it is right, but when you see pork chops and the like slightly dark in colour it may mean that the pig was well traumatised at the time of slaughter. Personally, I found these cuts to be better tasting than the really pink ones. When I am in the company of vegan treehuggers I tell them this but they don't seem very happy with the information. Bit like when I told a vegetarian when I observed a live lobster chopped in half which scuttled off the table in two opposite directions. Quite surreal at the time but memorable. The veggie cried.

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