The Limerick thread

[Wally Dorian Raffles]

There once was a man named Storekeeper
Who was known to post rougher and meaner
He loaded his gun
Said let's have some fun
Then went on a date with poolcleaner



I noticed NickA has been posting in poetry, ..so....

[Wally Dorian Raffles]

There once was a man with a monkey
Who dressed up in women's undies
He said my name's danbo
It's not bladdy rambo
So why are you all driving suvies?

[ChiangMai noon]

There was an old aussie named Wally.
Who liked to get pissed off his trolly.

He went down to Grace.
got farked off his face
And ended up shagging a collie.

[Wally Dorian Raffles]

Old Hillbilly had a six foot willy
And he showed it to Noi next door
She thought is was a snake
So she hit it with a rake
And now it's only three foot four

[Wally Dorian Raffles]

There once lived a man named Chang Mai Noon
Who accidently sat on a harpoon
He said "This feels great"
"why have I left this so late"
And now he turns tricks on soi 42

[ChiangMai noon]

There once was this pos(t)er called Marmite
looked down through his nose from a great height.

Called Macha a Paki
This Welshman a taffy
And longed for the days of apartheid

[Lily]

^ Good one

There once was a taffy named Noonie
Who would drive all his friends quite loony
He talked cryptic rhymes
Most of the time
And the majority weren't even foony

[cantona]

Reinvented's a poor little scouser
His face is all tattered and torn
Made Cantona feel sick
So he hit him with a brick
Reinvented can't sing anymore

[Lily]

There once was a pom called Cantona
Who was always a terrible moaner.
He whinged about this,
And he moaned about that,
Until he ended up a big loner.

[cantona]

There once was a sex change called Lily
Who got herself all in a tizzy
Shes menapausal now
The silly old cow
From snorting too much of that billy

[cantona]

There once was a DJ named Patricia
Who used to take it right up the shitter
He once got the sack
And ended up on crack
Now lives with his mate Gary Glitter

[poolcleaner]

I once was an ajarn post whore,
but now I don't post anymore,
I tried out ThaiVisa'
didn't like that either,
so now I remain on TeakDoor.

[ChiangMai noon]

There is an old sailor Storekeeper
Whose faults couldn't lie any deeper

With some oil and a push
He'd give one to Bush
His cock getting stiffer and steeper.

[DrAndy]

There was an old wanker called Stroller
Who always drank whisky and cola
He got incredibly pissed
But was never missed
And ended up a 3 holer

[ChiangMai noon]

^
I think the tempo would be slightly better were you to replace "being" in the last line with "as".

[Goddess of Whatever]

I am the only one Thai girl in Teakdoor (Not sure if it's right)
What are you looking for?
I'm not a whore
..............


I can't go on anymore, help.

[mad_dog]

Edit it was ironic na

[ChiangMai noon]

^
That is truly awful.

[Goddess of Whatever]

I think that's jolly funny, CMn.





Anyway, c'mon you guys! Help me to finish mine!

[lom]

There was a young girl of Aberystwyth,
Who took grain to the mill to make grist with.
The Miller's son Jack,
Laid her on her back,
And united the organs they pissed with.

(yes, stolen on the web)

[lom]

And one with double rhyme in the last line..

There once was a man named McGruder
Who liked a nude girl so he woo'd her.
The girl thought it rude
To be woo'd in the nude
But McGruder was ruder, and screwed her.

[ChiangMai noon]

lom.
you are in serious breach of thread rules.
the limerick should be about posters i think.

[Wally Dorian Raffles]

She was pretty, witty, and clever
And her name was Goddess of Whatever

She sings in a band
And makes us all glad
Though a good driver, she will make never

[Goddess of Whatever]

Do u want some pizza?

[DrAndy]

There was a goddess with pizza
Who offered a slice to a geezer
When he said no
She said "up yo"
So he decided to seize her